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ADHD Myth: ‘We’re All A Bit ADHD, Aren’t We?’
BLOG PODS #8 - ADHD Myth: ‘We’re All A Bit ADHD, Aren’t We?’
INTRODUCTION:
Anyone with ADHD will tell you that it can be really frustrating when others dismiss it’s existence or dilute it’s gravity because they have experienced symptoms themselves.
To the person with ADHD, this is a shocking dismissal of their condition and fails completely to grasp the challenges of living with a brain that functions differently.
In the end, people who say things like this show themselves up for what they are - ignorant.
IT STICKS IN THE THROAT:
I know that ‘ignorant’ sounds a bit harsh. Maybe it is. But the plain truth is that having ADHD can be hard. Really hard. So when someone reduces that challenge to a triviality by saying things like, ‘we’re all a bit like that sometimes,’ it really sticks in the throat.
Low level symptoms
For me, one of the things that makes ADHD hard to grasp for those who don’t have it, is the list of symptoms. For example:
* Struggling to focus or pay attention
* Getting easily distracted
* Difficulty organising complex tasks
* Acting impulsively
* Forgetting or losing things (or both!)
* Not completing tasks or projects
There are more symptoms than this, of course, but they’ll do for our purposes here.
Look at this list. Tick off which ones you’ve ever experienced.
Let me guess how many… all of them? Of course! And that, right there, is the problem. None of these things are anything particularly severe, rare or-in themselves-debilitating. They’re pretty normal things that happen to all of us from time to time.
And therein lies the rub - ‘from time to time.’
Disrespectful
If we compare these ADHD symptoms, say, with those of an irregular heartbeat (atrial fibrillation). The symptoms for this are absolutely NOT what most of us experience from time to time.
For example, a sudden and acute awareness of your heart and it’s beat, feeling the palpitations in your chest and being worried that either it’s so slow that you might pass out or so fast that it might explode out of your chest - or maybe stop beating altogether.
No, I haven’t had that either. Very few of us can say we’ve ever felt like that. Or even a bit like that.
Running upstairs might raise your heart rate, but not to the point where you fear imminent death!
No-one would dismiss a heart condition on the basis that, ‘we all feel like that sometimes, don’t we?’ That would be ridiculous.
But they do it with ADHD all the time.
People wouldn’t do it with blindness or diabetes or a broken leg. But they do with ADHD.
A problem of degree
When symptoms like those of an irregular heartbeat are listed we can immediately tell whether or not we’ve ever experienced them - and most of us haven’t. But with ADHD symptoms, we’ve all experienced some of them; and that’s the problem: our experience means we can relate to them, and relating to them dilutes their potency as symptoms of a real condition - “I experience that sometimes and I haven’t got ADHD.’
But the issue is not whether or not you’ve ever experienced the symptom per se. It’s all about the degree to which you’ve experienced them. Just like running for a bus and raising your heart rate doesn’t mean you have atrial fibrillation, so feeling a bit distracted now and then doesn’t mean you have ADHD.
However:
* What if the level of distractibility meant you could sit at your desk for hours and, at the end of it all, get pretty much nothing done?
* What if your impulsivity meant you offended people regularly by blurting out the wrong thing, inappropriately, or making way too much noise than everyone else?
* What if every time someone rattled off a quick list of things for you to do, or things to pick up from the shop, you just can’t remember them?
Not sometimes. Not occasionally. Not just when you’re tired or pre-occupied with something else. But often, regularly.
Then it becomes a problem of degree not of type. It’s not just what happens, it’s how often or severely it happens, that makes the difference.
What did I come here for?
Let me give a personal example, to illustrate the point.
Have you ever got up out of your chair and walked into another room, only to find when you get there you’ve forgotten what you went for? Yep, me too. It’s a pretty common thing - something we’ve probably all experienced at some point.
But what if I told you that that happens to me up to a dozen or even 15 times a day, some days?
Sometimes I get up for a reason only to forget what it is and to arrive in the other room with no idea why I’m there. So I stand still. I speak to myself - usually out loud - saying, ‘breathe Jonny. Why did you come in here?’ And then, after a few seconds, I remember.
Sometimes, after I think it through, breathe for a second and have a word with myself, I conclude that there never was a reason, but my inner dynamo (the term I use for the incessant need to be moving) has propelled me out of my chair for no reason at all. The only place to move in the house is into another room. But I didn’t go there for an actual reason - it was about the movement.
15 times a day!
As you can see, it’s a problem of degree or severity not of type.
Clearly the vast majority of typical adults do not report having these problems often. There is a quantifiable, statistically significant, and noticeable difference between the experiences of those diagnosed with ADHD and others. (Russell A. Barkley PhD - ‘Taking Charge of Adult ADHD’)
FINAL THOUGHTS:
Of course, like most conditions whether mental or physical, ADHD has more than one or two symptoms. There are lots and most of them are things people in the non-ADHD population will have experienced at some point.
But when these things converge, happen often and the experience of them is severe and has a deleterious impact on everyday life, it becomes a problem.
So when other people then dismiss those symptoms as ‘normal’ and therefore not really indicative of ‘having’ a condition at all…then it’s frankly offensive and hurtful, only adding to the challenges of having a debilitating-even life-limiting-condition.
‘But we’re all a bit like that, aren’t we?’
No. No we’re not.
Please leave a comment and let me know about your experiences!
More information:
* DR RACHELLE SUMMERS (BARR) - Patreon Page
* BOOK: Taking Charge of Adult ADHD: Proven Strategies to Succeed at Home, at Work and In Relationships by Russell Barkley - click here (affiliate link)
* BOOK: Scattered Minds - The Origins & Healing of ADHD by Gabor Maté - click here (affiliate link)
* BOOK: ADHD 2.0 by Ed Halliwell & John Ratey - click here (affiliate link)
* ADHD Test: Do I Have ADHD? - click here
* ADHD Test: For Women - click here
Want to get in touch?
* Drop me a line here.
* Join the mailing list by clicking here (this is my email list, not Substack)
* You can also “Like” me on Facebook and “Follow” on Twitter or Pinterest or connect with me on LinkedIn.
©️ Jonny Matthew 2024
Get full access to Jonny Matthew’s Substack at jonnyvm.substack.com/subscribe
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By Information & inspiration for working with troubled kids - with Jonny MatthewBLOG PODS #8 - ADHD Myth: ‘We’re All A Bit ADHD, Aren’t We?’
INTRODUCTION:
Anyone with ADHD will tell you that it can be really frustrating when others dismiss it’s existence or dilute it’s gravity because they have experienced symptoms themselves.
To the person with ADHD, this is a shocking dismissal of their condition and fails completely to grasp the challenges of living with a brain that functions differently.
In the end, people who say things like this show themselves up for what they are - ignorant.
IT STICKS IN THE THROAT:
I know that ‘ignorant’ sounds a bit harsh. Maybe it is. But the plain truth is that having ADHD can be hard. Really hard. So when someone reduces that challenge to a triviality by saying things like, ‘we’re all a bit like that sometimes,’ it really sticks in the throat.
Low level symptoms
For me, one of the things that makes ADHD hard to grasp for those who don’t have it, is the list of symptoms. For example:
* Struggling to focus or pay attention
* Getting easily distracted
* Difficulty organising complex tasks
* Acting impulsively
* Forgetting or losing things (or both!)
* Not completing tasks or projects
There are more symptoms than this, of course, but they’ll do for our purposes here.
Look at this list. Tick off which ones you’ve ever experienced.
Let me guess how many… all of them? Of course! And that, right there, is the problem. None of these things are anything particularly severe, rare or-in themselves-debilitating. They’re pretty normal things that happen to all of us from time to time.
And therein lies the rub - ‘from time to time.’
Disrespectful
If we compare these ADHD symptoms, say, with those of an irregular heartbeat (atrial fibrillation). The symptoms for this are absolutely NOT what most of us experience from time to time.
For example, a sudden and acute awareness of your heart and it’s beat, feeling the palpitations in your chest and being worried that either it’s so slow that you might pass out or so fast that it might explode out of your chest - or maybe stop beating altogether.
No, I haven’t had that either. Very few of us can say we’ve ever felt like that. Or even a bit like that.
Running upstairs might raise your heart rate, but not to the point where you fear imminent death!
No-one would dismiss a heart condition on the basis that, ‘we all feel like that sometimes, don’t we?’ That would be ridiculous.
But they do it with ADHD all the time.
People wouldn’t do it with blindness or diabetes or a broken leg. But they do with ADHD.
A problem of degree
When symptoms like those of an irregular heartbeat are listed we can immediately tell whether or not we’ve ever experienced them - and most of us haven’t. But with ADHD symptoms, we’ve all experienced some of them; and that’s the problem: our experience means we can relate to them, and relating to them dilutes their potency as symptoms of a real condition - “I experience that sometimes and I haven’t got ADHD.’
But the issue is not whether or not you’ve ever experienced the symptom per se. It’s all about the degree to which you’ve experienced them. Just like running for a bus and raising your heart rate doesn’t mean you have atrial fibrillation, so feeling a bit distracted now and then doesn’t mean you have ADHD.
However:
* What if the level of distractibility meant you could sit at your desk for hours and, at the end of it all, get pretty much nothing done?
* What if your impulsivity meant you offended people regularly by blurting out the wrong thing, inappropriately, or making way too much noise than everyone else?
* What if every time someone rattled off a quick list of things for you to do, or things to pick up from the shop, you just can’t remember them?
Not sometimes. Not occasionally. Not just when you’re tired or pre-occupied with something else. But often, regularly.
Then it becomes a problem of degree not of type. It’s not just what happens, it’s how often or severely it happens, that makes the difference.
What did I come here for?
Let me give a personal example, to illustrate the point.
Have you ever got up out of your chair and walked into another room, only to find when you get there you’ve forgotten what you went for? Yep, me too. It’s a pretty common thing - something we’ve probably all experienced at some point.
But what if I told you that that happens to me up to a dozen or even 15 times a day, some days?
Sometimes I get up for a reason only to forget what it is and to arrive in the other room with no idea why I’m there. So I stand still. I speak to myself - usually out loud - saying, ‘breathe Jonny. Why did you come in here?’ And then, after a few seconds, I remember.
Sometimes, after I think it through, breathe for a second and have a word with myself, I conclude that there never was a reason, but my inner dynamo (the term I use for the incessant need to be moving) has propelled me out of my chair for no reason at all. The only place to move in the house is into another room. But I didn’t go there for an actual reason - it was about the movement.
15 times a day!
As you can see, it’s a problem of degree or severity not of type.
Clearly the vast majority of typical adults do not report having these problems often. There is a quantifiable, statistically significant, and noticeable difference between the experiences of those diagnosed with ADHD and others. (Russell A. Barkley PhD - ‘Taking Charge of Adult ADHD’)
FINAL THOUGHTS:
Of course, like most conditions whether mental or physical, ADHD has more than one or two symptoms. There are lots and most of them are things people in the non-ADHD population will have experienced at some point.
But when these things converge, happen often and the experience of them is severe and has a deleterious impact on everyday life, it becomes a problem.
So when other people then dismiss those symptoms as ‘normal’ and therefore not really indicative of ‘having’ a condition at all…then it’s frankly offensive and hurtful, only adding to the challenges of having a debilitating-even life-limiting-condition.
‘But we’re all a bit like that, aren’t we?’
No. No we’re not.
Please leave a comment and let me know about your experiences!
More information:
* DR RACHELLE SUMMERS (BARR) - Patreon Page
* BOOK: Taking Charge of Adult ADHD: Proven Strategies to Succeed at Home, at Work and In Relationships by Russell Barkley - click here (affiliate link)
* BOOK: Scattered Minds - The Origins & Healing of ADHD by Gabor Maté - click here (affiliate link)
* BOOK: ADHD 2.0 by Ed Halliwell & John Ratey - click here (affiliate link)
* ADHD Test: Do I Have ADHD? - click here
* ADHD Test: For Women - click here
Want to get in touch?
* Drop me a line here.
* Join the mailing list by clicking here (this is my email list, not Substack)
* You can also “Like” me on Facebook and “Follow” on Twitter or Pinterest or connect with me on LinkedIn.
©️ Jonny Matthew 2024
Get full access to Jonny Matthew’s Substack at jonnyvm.substack.com/subscribe