If y'all can get through the intro, we have quite the episode for you. (Sorry, we've got things to say!)

This week, we endure Tessa and Harry having to pretend to be a couple while Harry's mom (who is still named Anne somehow) stays at the apartment for a visit. It goes as well as you can imagine: Harry throws a little fit, there's a concrete floor situation, and Tessa acts like an idiot. With things so tense the ceiling fan stops, Tessa goes to stay at her mom's house until she can move back into a campus dorm. She is of course met with her mother's usual warmth (none whatsoever), and a surprise visit from her mom's boyf- I mean, Tessa's ex-boyfriend, Noah. To conclude, a secret revealed has Tessa fuming as she drives through the snow – and don't you dare call her while she does that.

Why does Julia start shuffling? Who are Mr. and Mrs. Porter/Porto/Porno? Who does Tessa hang up on because it's snowing? Listen to find out, and be sure to BEWARE THE IDES OF MARCH.