Pacey's got problems all over his life. His FWB arrangement with Jen still hasn't led to any actual sex because they've never quite recaptured the magic of their one good kiss on Witch Island. He's failing most of his classes, so he needs Joey's help to get him through midterms, and the cost for the latter is partnering her in a ballroom class so that she can try to win the dance school's college scholarship. AND his asking her advice about his hypothetical no-strings sex friend is a big mistake, since there are only so many possible candidates. Plus, after sneaking in to Dawson's room to attempt sex, Pacey left a condom on the floor, and Dawson's on the hunt to find out what's going on. Since he starred in Gale's human interest story, Jack has started getting emails, including from another gay kid who only lives two towns over. Andie hectors him until he sets up a date, but is he actually ready? Put on your swishiest skirt and listen to our episode on "Four To Tango"!

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📺 Dellaventura S01.E01 on YouTube

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Pacey's got problems all over his life. His FWB arrangement with Jen still hasn't led to any actual sex because they've never quite recaptured the magic of their one good kiss on Witch Island. He's failing most of his classes, so he needs Joey's help to get him through midterms, and the cost for the latter is partnering her in a ballroom class so that she can try to win the dance school's college scholarship. AND his asking her advice about his hypothetical no-strings sex friend is a big mistake, since there are only so many possible candidates. Plus, after sneaking in to Dawson's room to attempt sex, Pacey left a condom on the floor, and Dawson's on the hunt to find out what's going on. Since he starred in Gale's human interest story, Jack has started getting emails, including from another gay kid who only lives two towns over. Andie hectors him until he sets up a date, but is he actually ready? Put on your swishiest skirt and listen to our episode on "Four To Tango"!

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📺 Dellaventura S01.E01 on YouTube

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It's Thanksgiving, and the plan is for everyone to gather at Grams's house -- even Pacey, since his family eats later, presumably because everyone hopes his dad gets drunk enough to sleep through it? Gale is living in the Leery guest room while she, and somehow not Mitch, looks for an apartment; Dawson is suspicious of how pleasantly they're getting along. Joey is missing her poor dead mom today more than usual. Andie's plan is to make dinner for Jack and her dad, but then Joseph gets stuck in Chicago so they have to come to Grams's too so that Andie can be weird around Pacey. Only Jen is really having a great day and looking forward to fooling around with Pacey later, per their new FWB arrangement...so it's too bad for her when she opens her bedroom door and sees her mother Helen (Mel Harris!) standing there. What does Dawson do with his secret knowledge of Helen's past? How much does Joey bum everyone out with her orphan-osity? Do Jen and Pacey ever manage to bone??? We hope YOU will be our guest for our episode on "Guess Who's Coming To Dinner"!

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💞 And Just Like That... S02.E07: "February 14" on Max

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Almost four months after becoming a shock box office hit, The Blair Witch Project still has a stranglehold on culture, if we want to be generous and use that term to describe Dawson's Creek. The core four are reading The Crucible in English class, and naturally Dawson decided that he's too special to do assignments as assigned; he's convinced Principal Green -- who's teaching their class to free Mitch up for football stuff, presumably -- to let him make a documentary about a local witch legend. ("Isn't The Crucible kind of...not really about the Salem witch trials?" We'll get into it.) He'd already arranged to have Pacey and Jen "help" so that they could also blow off their papers, and when a desperate Joey runs into the video store to rent The Crucible because she's run out of time to read the play AND the last copy is gone, Dawson belatedly remembers she exists and offers to let her in on the scheme too. On the island, the kids ignore warnings not to get lost in the woods or stay past dark. Joey and Dawson also ignore good taste and make the story of the one accused witch whose body was never found, and whose dalliance with her true love led to her conviction in the first place, into a stand-in for their own stupid relationship problems. Meanwhile, Jen finds a love spell in a gift shop book and decides to try it out on Pacey, for sport. Back home, Andie lets the tiny amount of power Principal Green granted her on the student disciplinary committee go straight to her head, and her citation-writing hand. Stay where you are for our episode on "Escape From Witch Island"!

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It was just one episode ago when Dawson thought he'd discovered a link between Eve and Jen, but that's not the titular secret -- it's about Gale and therefore much more boring. Jen wouldn't have time to deal with the bombshell of a possible half-sister anyway: as Capeside's latest Homecoming Queen, she has the responsibility of...planning a gala for fifty years' worth of past Queens? When Jen visits apparently the oldest Queen, Miss Constance Freckling (K Callan!) to try to weasel out of it, she has a bee-facilitated interlude with Henry, aka Miss Freckling's handyboy "Hank." Pacey is keeping busy enlisting members of the police auxiliary to help turn the Potter cottage into a B&B, but drops everything when Andie calls Joey crying that Rob committed sexual misconduct against her, but then won't agree to report him to the authorities. Joey's like, "Hmmmmmmmm." We're like, "Uuuuuuuugh." It's no secret OR lie that we've brought you a new episode -- listen now!

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Dawson has arrived at the film noir section of his film class, and why not -- he's living in one, what with femme fatale Eve mysteriously popping up and disappearing all the time, making him feel like a mark! He's just snapped off The Lady From Shanghai when he notices shady doings across the way at Grams's place, and wouldn't you know it: the person creeping around with a flashlight is none other than Eve, who immediately tries to deflect questions about what she was doing by hitting on Dawson. When that doesn't work, she threatens blackmail with the stolen PSAT. Dawson is so fired up that he does some actual PI work! Is the information he uncovers worth the trouble he gets in with Doug? Henry is still so smitten with Jen that Jack tries causing a date to break out spontaneously without Henry's having to ask Jen (since he is physically unable to speak to her). And when Joey finds out that her latest rejection sent Rob after Andie, she takes extreme measures to protect her friend. Fire up the fan, but not too loud: we brought you an episode on "Indian Summer"!

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We are NOT here for football, and yet it keeps happening to us! Offscreen Gale gives Dawson an opportunity to produce a human interest piece for a national news broadcast, completely on his own. He decides to do something about Jack, the gay football star, and gets signoff from everyone except Jack's coach, Mitch. Jen is also implicated in football culture when the other cheerleaders make a kiss from her a prize in a silent auction, and is so appalled that she resigns as head cheerleader (although events leading up to this do suggest that she was ready to do that regardless and the auction just provided a convenient pretext). Now sprung from his relationship with Andie, Pacey involves Joey in his latest shenanigans; getting caught cutting class for a trip to the post office lands them an unorthodox and moderately punishment from Principal Green that -- get this -- ALSO braids into the football storyline. Andie is trying to put her PSAT cheating in the rearview, but when Principal Green tells her he needs to see her about a disciplinary matter, it revs up her paranoia. You won't need a VHS OR a Betamax to enjoy our episode on "Home Movies"!

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The entire junior class is in a tizzy about the imminent PSAT, the practice for the test that could possibly determine the entire course of their lives. But maybe they don't ALL have to stress about it so much: somehow, Eve comes into possession of a copy, which -- in her established role as a chaos agent -- she gives to Dawson. Then, he lets all his closest friends know he has it so that they can tell him what to do about it; unfortunately, that's when they all have to go outside for a fire drill, leaving their stuff, and when they come back in...the test is gone. Suspicions start flying around as to who the culprit could be, and the complete lack of evidence, apart from past behavior possibly informing actions in the present, doesn't stop Dawson making some pretty uncharitable AND unfounded accusations. Meanwhile, football is apparently still happening whether we like it or not. Jack suspects his teammates are being extra-hard on him for homophobic reasons; Henry tries to help him so that Jack might return the favor by getting him a proper introduction to his dream girl, Jen. Sharpen your #2 pencil and join us for our podcast on "None Of The Above"!

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Mitch is, as we learned in the premiere, Capeside High's football coach, and both he and Principal Green are very focused on turning around the team's years-long losing streak. (This contradicts what we were told about now long-gone football star Cliff, but never mind; he's in a better place.) Mitch and the principal thus enlist Dawson to create a promotional film for the team, and somehow he finds the time around condom shopping, because Eve is still around -- now as a Capeside senior -- and still very openly coming on to Dawson whenever she sees him. It's too bad Dawson can't use footage of the current team, because freshman quarterback Henry Parker (Michael Pitt) is actually good, and by chance finds the wide receiver of his dreams in Jack, whom Mitch soon drafts to join the team; this should provide a nice break for Jack from worrying about why his dad, who has moved his business to Capeside so that Andie can resume her studies there, doesn't want Jack to join them. Speaking of Andie: she's inconveniently released from her residential treatment center days in to the school year. Pacey is overwhelmed with excitement about getting to pick her up -- after having apparently only written emails and letters the whole time she was gone -- but when he gets there, he finds her with a boy, and then seems to be avoiding Pacey whenever he tries to get some time alone with her. HMMMMM. Come home to our latest episode on "Homecoming"!

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🥴 Mormon Mom Gone Wrong: The Ruby Franke Story at Lifetime

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Dawson, returning from spending his whole offscreen summer in Philadelphia with Gale, ends up on a bus next to a very confident pixie-cut blonde. When she disappears after he apparently bores them both to sleep yammering about Joey, he assumes he'll never see her again. He assumes wrong, and is no match for her aggressive come-ons. Her sexual overtures while Dawson's out driving them around in Mitch's boat lead Dawson to make some reckless choices with expensive consequences; knowing this girl works at the local exotic dance establishment, Pacey gets the idea to knock off Risky Business with a stripper party at the Leery house. Through all this, Joey has alternated between parrying the unwanted attention of Rob Logan, her new boss at the marina, and regretting the way she told Dawson off in the Season 2 finale. Roomies Jen and Jack have reached a new level of platonically intimate friendship and are so adorable even Grams seems like they're giving her a cavity -- but in a fun way! Less fun: the tyranny of cheer captain Belinda McGovern, who is terrorizing her classmates with slut-shaming and fatphobia. Jen notices, apparently for the first time, and decides to fight back by trying out for the cheerleading team. But what you really want to know is whether her hair has grown back out: we're thrilled to let you know it has. You made it through the wilderness of our two-week holiday break: welcome back to our episode on "Like A Virgin"!

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💂🏻‍♂️ Parker Stevenson in a 1971 commercial for Right Guard, on YouTube

🧺 Gail Strickland in a 1976 commercial for Cheer, on YouTube

🛢️ Greg Evigan in a 1978 commercial for Quaker State, on YouTube

🍊 Alyssa Milano in a 1985 commercial for Hi-C, on Facebook

🍊 Brian Bloom in a 1985 commercial for Hi-C, on Facebook

👖 Cheryl Pollak in a 1986 commercial for Jordache, on YouTube

👩🏻‍🦰 Laura Leighton in a 1992 commercial for Dep, on Facebook

🐄 Kristin Davis in a 1992 commercial for Kraft ranch dressing

👖 Grant Show in a 1984 commercial for Jordache, on YouTube

💸 "Why Paula Cole Re-Recorded Her Iconic Dawson's Creek Theme: 'I Haven't Seen Royalties For Years" on Billboard

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