The entire junior class is in a tizzy about the imminent PSAT, the practice for the test that could possibly determine the entire course of their lives. But maybe they don't ALL have to stress about it so much: somehow, Eve comes into possession of a copy, which -- in her established role as a chaos agent -- she gives to Dawson. Then, he lets all his closest friends know he has it so that they can tell him what to do about it; unfortunately, that's when they all have to go outside for a fire drill, leaving their stuff, and when they come back in...the test is gone. Suspicions start flying around as to who the culprit could be, and the complete lack of evidence, apart from past behavior possibly informing actions in the present, doesn't stop Dawson making some pretty uncharitable AND unfounded accusations. Meanwhile, football is apparently still happening whether we like it or not. Jack suspects his teammates are being extra-hard on him for homophobic reasons; Henry tries to help him so that Jack might return the favor by getting him a proper introduction to his dream girl, Jen. Sharpen your #2 pencil and join us for our podcast on "None Of The Above"!

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Mitch is, as we learned in the premiere, Capeside High's football coach, and both he and Principal Green are very focused on turning around the team's years-long losing streak. (This contradicts what we were told about now long-gone football star Cliff, but never mind; he's in a better place.) Mitch and the principal thus enlist Dawson to create a promotional film for the team, and somehow he finds the time around condom shopping, because Eve is still around -- now as a Capeside senior -- and still very openly coming on to Dawson whenever she sees him. It's too bad Dawson can't use footage of the current team, because freshman quarterback Henry Parker (Michael Pitt) is actually good, and by chance finds the wide receiver of his dreams in Jack, whom Mitch soon drafts to join the team; this should provide a nice break for Jack from worrying about why his dad, who has moved his business to Capeside so that Andie can resume her studies there, doesn't want Jack to join them. Speaking of Andie: she's inconveniently released from her residential treatment center days in to the school year. Pacey is overwhelmed with excitement about getting to pick her up -- after having apparently only written emails and letters the whole time she was gone -- but when he gets there, he finds her with a boy, and then seems to be avoiding Pacey whenever he tries to get some time alone with her. HMMMMM. Come home to our latest episode on "Homecoming"!

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🥴 Mormon Mom Gone Wrong: The Ruby Franke Story at Lifetime

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Dawson, returning from spending his whole offscreen summer in Philadelphia with Gale, ends up on a bus next to a very confident pixie-cut blonde. When she disappears after he apparently bores them both to sleep yammering about Joey, he assumes he'll never see her again. He assumes wrong, and is no match for her aggressive come-ons. Her sexual overtures while Dawson's out driving them around in Mitch's boat lead Dawson to make some reckless choices with expensive consequences; knowing this girl works at the local exotic dance establishment, Pacey gets the idea to knock off Risky Business with a stripper party at the Leery house. Through all this, Joey has alternated between parrying the unwanted attention of Rob Logan, her new boss at the marina, and regretting the way she told Dawson off in the Season 2 finale. Roomies Jen and Jack have reached a new level of platonically intimate friendship and are so adorable even Grams seems like they're giving her a cavity -- but in a fun way! Less fun: the tyranny of cheer captain Belinda McGovern, who is terrorizing her classmates with slut-shaming and fatphobia. Jen notices, apparently for the first time, and decides to fight back by trying out for the cheerleading team. But what you really want to know is whether her hair has grown back out: we're thrilled to let you know it has. You made it through the wilderness of our two-week holiday break: welcome back to our episode on "Like A Virgin"!

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💂🏻‍♂️ Parker Stevenson in a 1971 commercial for Right Guard, on YouTube

🧺 Gail Strickland in a 1976 commercial for Cheer, on YouTube

🛢️ Greg Evigan in a 1978 commercial for Quaker State, on YouTube

🍊 Alyssa Milano in a 1985 commercial for Hi-C, on Facebook

🍊 Brian Bloom in a 1985 commercial for Hi-C, on Facebook

👖 Cheryl Pollak in a 1986 commercial for Jordache, on YouTube

👩🏻‍🦰 Laura Leighton in a 1992 commercial for Dep, on Facebook

🐄 Kristin Davis in a 1992 commercial for Kraft ranch dressing

👖 Grant Show in a 1984 commercial for Jordache, on YouTube

💸 "Why Paula Cole Re-Recorded Her Iconic Dawson's Creek Theme: 'I Haven't Seen Royalties For Years" on Billboard

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We’re off this week but we bring you two Again With Again With This episodes full of SPIDERS?! and death traps.

AWAWT 092: Let's Watch Thomas Calabro, Patrick Muldoon, AND Vanessa Williams In Ice Spiders!

What happens when a top-secret scientific task force tries to breed gigantic spiders in order to harvest their extremely strong and versatile silk? Well, the spiders break out and menace a ski resort. Obviously. Find out how three ex-Melrose Place stars acquitted themselves in the process!

AWAWT 144: Let’s Watch Jack Wagner AND Gabrielle Carteris In Trapped: Buried Alive!

2002’s labored, spark-less Trapped: Buried Alive features an avalanche (of laughable CGI), nonstop bickering, a bratty stepdaughter, gas leaks, Shatnerian line deliveries, and one of the few pregnant women in scripted entertainment NOT to go into labor during a natural disaster. Everyone’s trying…but very little of it’s working. Put down that crossbody full of cash and have a listen!

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🕷️ Ice Spiders on Amazon Prime Video

❄️ Trapped: Buried Alive on YouTube

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We’re off this week but we bring you two Again With Again With This episodes full of Jasons Priestly.

AWAWT 123: Let's Watch Jason Priestley In Christmas At Tiffani's!

In this special holiday episode of Dinner At Tiffani's, our titular hostess -- with some assistance from her real husband, Brady Smith -- throws a dinner party for two of her TV husbands, the guy who was her 90210 love interest for a few seconds in one season finale, and their wives. Cheese is on the menu in more ways than one.

AWAWT 171: Let's Watch Jason Priestley And Liz Vassey In The Christmas Episode Of Tru Calling!

Did you know that Jason Priestley was basically a series regular on Tru Calling, Fox's mid-00s sci-fi show as a guy who could see dead people's last moments, and go back in time, or...something? We didn't, and after watching the series finale -- which also features recurring guest star Liz "Marcie St. Claire" Vassey! -- we still don't totally get what was happening in this thing.

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🎄 Christmas At Tiffani's on CookingChannel.tv

🍋 Tiffani's recipe for Lemon Berry Bars

📖 All the recipes from Christmas At Tiffani's

🩻 Tru Calling S02.E06: "'Twas The Night Before Christmas...Again" on YouTube

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Dawson has a secret and REALLY wishes he didn't. Hoping to avoid telling Joey about her dad's return to drug dealing, he takes Gale's advice and goes straight to Mike, telling him what he knows in the hopes that Mike will...knock it off? Or something? Instead, The Icehouse gets firebombed while all the cocaine -- oh, and also all the kids we know -- are inside. The situation does bring Pacey's dad, Sheriff Witter, back onto the scene to be an even bigger jerk than he was the last time we saw him, which is saying something. The Leerys -- other than their poor boundaries with regard to adult/child friendship -- remain the best in parent class, Gale's decision to leave Capeside for the job in Philadelphia also causes some minor turmoil. Fortunately, we'll always have Grams to model chosen family goals. Warning: parental discretion IS advised for our episode on...well, you know.

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🍪 Hallmark Drama's Christmas Cookie Matchup S01.E02 on Vimeo

🎅🏻 Santa's Slay on Starz

🌃 Naked City: A Killer Christmas on YouTube

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Jack having resolved, at the end of the last episode, to call his dad for help with Andie since he couldn't put it off a single second longer, Joseph arrives with a distinctly unhelpful announcement: he's selling the house and bringing the kids back to Providence so that both Andie AND her extremely offscreen mother can get full-time medical care. This is, of course, bad news: Andie doesn't want to say goodbye to the best boyfriend any teenaged girl ever had, and Jack doesn't want to resume living with a parent who definitely hasn't accepted Jack's coming out (and barely accepted him before that anyway). The McPhees' possible relocation has Jen wondering if it's time for her to leave Capeside too, but a call home to HER extremely offscreen mother lets her know that at least one move she took for granted as an option may no longer be available. After his stressful dinner with Miss Kennedy in the last episode, Dawson is stressed out about his final film assignment, but his idea of interviewing the people around him to describe their "character arcs" over the past year results in him learning more about Joey's dad than he wanted to. Turn and face the strange: our episode on "Ch... Ch... Ch... Changes"!

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🍪 Hallmark Drama's Christmas Cookie Matchup S01.E02 on Vimeo

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However Joey and Dawson might classify whatever they're currently doing relationship-wise, they've been doing it for a month, so Dawson is taking her out for dinner at Capeside's fanciest French restaurant, Entre Nous. Except oh no, when Dawson made his reservation two weeks ago, the maître d' didn't realize there were TWO Leery parties of two, and he's already seated the only one he thought he had that night, which is how Joey and Dawson end up celebrating their month-iversary with Mitch and Miss Kennedy. (No offense to the maître d' but it's probably crap like this that has you working a fine dining establishment in a dying Massachusetts fishing town.) Jen is now crashing at the Leery house, and Gale seems to appreciate having an inappropriately young gal pal to talk to about all her problems. But when she burns the pot roast she'd been making for their girls' night, they decide to dress up and hit the town and you will NEVER GUESS where they ALSO end up!!! Meanwhile, Andie hasn't seen any Abby apparitions since the day of her funeral a month ago, but a mysterious and intense young man has been hanging around, reminding her that no one can find out about what they have. Who is he? Are Andie and Pacey going to be okay? Is an actual adult going to notice that all the literal children in this episode NEED HELP and intervene?! Order yourself some French onion soup and enjoy our episode on "Reunited"!

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⚰️ Buffy The Vampire Slayer S04.E08: "Pangs" on Hulu

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As the news of Abby's passing spreads through Capeside, everyone gets a chance to make it about them. Girls at school who were definitely not Abby's friends distribute yellow armbands in her memory. Jen displaces her guilt onto Andie, then starts drinking. Andie -- worried that Jen might be right when she says Abby would still be alive if Andie hadn't kicked her and Jen out of the wedding -- doesn't correct Mrs. Morgan about her supposed friendship with Abby, AND agrees to deliver a eulogy at her funeral. Jack realizes he may have been the last person to kiss Abby before her death.  Joey tries to keep a lid on her feelings so old grief about her mother's death three years earlier doesn't boil over. And Dawson takes the opportunity to rewatch all the footage he shot of Abby for Creek Daze -- which he might as well, if only to take his mind off the possibility that Gale is going to take a fancy network job in Philadelphia and leave him behind. Find a comfortable spot (satin pillow optional) and join us for our episode on "Rest In Peace"!

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🗓️ Pieces Of April on Tubi

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The Icehouse caters a wedding for Capeside blue-bloods! What could go wrong?! (Actually, it's...mostly fine.)