The summer tourist season is kicking off in Capeside with a regatta. This might have been a low-key race for new sailor Pacey and the True Love, the little boat that could, if it were happening a couple of weeks earlier. Unfortunately, we're in the post-discovery era, so Dawson has to Dawson all over it. Leery's Fresh Fish is sponsoring the True Love? Fine: Dawson will just enter Joseph McPhee's boat, the Carpe Diem; THEN ask the McPhee siblings if he may use it; THEN pay the sponsorship fee himself but sail on behalf of the Potter B&B. When will he have time to learn the rules of sailing? Great question: he won't, and that's going to be a problem. In the far background, Jen has been giving Henry the silent treatment ever since he tried to fool around with her when Grams wasn't home, so he's been holding a silent vigil everywhere she goes, holding up a sign asking her to forgive him. No one is sufficiently annoyed by this behavior, least of all Jen. Show US love by listening to our episode on "Show Me Love"!

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It seems as though, once Joey broke the seal in the last episode and initiated a kiss with Pacey, they basically have not stopped kissing since. And that's a problem, because the longer they wait, the worse it's going to be when Dawson finds out. The plan is for Pacey to tell him. But then Joey stops him and says SHE should be the one to tell him. But then Dawson interrupts and it kind of seems like NO ONE has to tell him...but how could that be? It turns out that this day was unusually eventful, so we see the events from Pacey's, then Joey's, and then Dawson's perspectives, as Capeside's biggest secret is finally told. This may not be our shortest episode, because it's about "The Longest Day"!

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🛋️ Friends S04.E02: "The One With The Cat" on Max

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It seems as though, once Joey broke the seal in the last episode and initiated a kiss with Pacey, they basically have not stopped kissing since. And that's a problem, because the longer they wait, the worse it's going to be when Dawson finds out. The plan is for Pacey to tell him. But then Joey stops him and says SHE should be the one to tell him. But then Dawson interrupts and it kind of seems like NO ONE has to tell him...but how could that be? It turns out that this day was unusually eventful, so we see the events from Pacey's, then Joey's, and then Dawson's perspectives, as Capeside's biggest secret is finally told. This may not be our shortest episode, because it's about "The Longest Day"!

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It's spring break, but of course Capeside's biggest nerds aren't going to Fort Lauderdale: they're heading to Vermont for what is apparently their traditional visit with Dawson's Aunt Gwen (Julie Bowen!). Pacey wasn't going to come, but the kids' old and previously never-mentioned friend Will Krudski (Rodney Scott) made a surprise visit to pull a Jake Hanson-- er, tell us all his deal as a working-class ne'er-do-well with daddy issues and a heart of gold and then leave for his own show (spoiler?), and since there's nothing to do in Capeside, they're going to an even smaller and duller town. Also joining is Andie, because someone has to have a crush on Will to make us think he's a viable leading man. Will Dawson stop thinking about his own reinvention long enough to notice all the eye-fucking Pacey and Joey are doing? Apparently not before their first night at Gwen's, because the sleeping arrangements end up putting Joey and Pacey in the one bed together for It Happened One Night high jinks. Back in Capeside, Fresh Fish server Shelley (Sarah Lancaster) has the hots for new busboy Henry, and Jen's not just telling her they're dating because otherwise they wouldn't have a plotline; and the surprise death of a longtime friend has Gale and Mitch reflecting on what they've lost...and could possibly regain? Close your eyes and lean in for our episode on "Stolen Kisses"!

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Our joy at Pacey and Joey FINALLY having a good kiss is ruined by...well, Joey, acting like she didn't like it and isn't interested, so that Pacey, embarrassed, decides to pretend he didn't mean it. Bessie tells Joey to talk about it with a friend, since nothing Bessie is saying is what Joey seems to want to hear (okay advice); Doug tells Pacey to take Dawson somewhere nostalgic to remind him about their long and meaningful friendship, then tell him what's going on (great advice?). Unfortunately -- for all of us, really -- Buzz and two of his little buddies somehow track Pacey and Dawson to their old fort in the woods and crash their camping trip. And a girls' night out for Joey is complicated by the presence of Andie, who still doesn't seem to be totally over Pacey. It's also complicated for Jen, who seems like she mostly agrees to the hang because she's hurt that Henry didn't ask her to his birthday party, then gets a big surprise when she and the girls hit up the roller rink. Jack is trying to have a TOTALLY PLATONIC boys' weekend with Ethan while Mr. McPhee is out of town on a business trip, but it turns out Mr. McPhee has cancelled that trip, unbeknownst to Jack, and seems determined not to notice that three's a crowd. Second star to the right and straight on till our episode on "Neverland"!

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AJ's about to be the youngest person in his department at Unnamed College to something something no one cares, and Joey's going back to Boston to be his date for a night of listening to him read his writing and then do some ballroom dancing. Pacey warns her not to get too caught up in the fantasy, tamping down her excitement before she's even gotten on the train. It's just as well, since AJ's so caught up in prep for the event that he sends his lifelong best friend Morgan -- a GIRL Morgan -- to retrieve Joey and unintentionally show off all the history AJ and Morgan share. (She even knows his actual first name!) Pacey has his own annoying boy to deal with: Buzz (Jonathan Lipnicki!), his new mentee. Making Buzz help with boat refurbishment leads to a conversation about whom the True Love was named for and whether Pacey has even kissed her yet -- something that seems to strike a resonant chord in Pacey, such that by the end of the episode, everything's changed. Way off in a whole other part of town, Dawson is still helping Gale set up her new and as-yet unnamed restaurant, though it doesn't take long for him to make her wish he had anything else to do. Take off your glass slippers and get comfy: we made you a new episode on "Cinderella Story"!

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🚢 The Love BoatS07.E04: "Youth Takes A Holiday / Don't Leave Home Without It / Prisoner Of Love" on Paramount+

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When Principal Green expelled him in the last episode, Matt Caufield warned him that his father was going to come after Principal Green with everything he had, and he wasn't lying: the episode opens with outraged parents screaming through an emergency meeting about this supposed attack on a boy who was just playing a prank. Also outraged: Gale, when she sees that her former intern Sherry, now a field reporter, is on the scene filing the first of several obviously biased pieces about the situation. Pacey suggests to a fired-up Joey that she should organize a protest -- something she doesn't quite hear until AJ tells her the same thing. When Gale complains to Dawson about Sherry's uninformed reporting, Dawson convinces her that the two of them could put together their own one-camera shoot telling the true story. But not everyone is on the right side of history: a concerned citizen vaguely threatening Bessie's business has her too stressed to join Joey's revolution. Listen to our podcast on "To Green, With Love," made cordially yours by the two of us.

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The school board and PTA have selected several student artists to create murals on the walls of Capeside High School, and Joey -- who recently remembered art was something she used to be into -- is one of them! Her concept involves a Chinese hanzi even though she's not Chinese herself, as far as we know; nevertheless, it is still sad when her work ends up getting vandalized. Pacey takes a break from tormenting his new roommate, Deputy Doug, to go on the case of who ruined Joey's work and ends up...well, exactly where you'd probably expect after a new rich jerk was just introduced in the last episode. Principal Green is thrilled to tell Andie that her PSAT scores put her in the top 50,000 students and on track for a National Merit Scholarship. This shakes something loose in her; quitting the disciplinary committee is just the beginning. You'll only be punishing yourself if you skip our episode on "Crime & Punishment"!

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Joey does NOT have Valentine's Day plans with "college boy," so what will the gang be doing for the Hallmarkiest of holidays? Attending an ANTI-Valentine's Day party thrown by Matt Caulfield, some rich jerk from school we've never heard of before -- and since the event is very secret and exclusive so it doesn't get raided by cops, finding it requires a little tradecraft. Everyone should be motivated to figure out where to go, since they have a visitor to impress: Kate (Alexandra Breckenridge!), Jack's ex-girlfriend from Rhode Island. She's fresh off a breakup, so Pacey decides the best way to get her through it is for Dawson to try to hook up with her -- and you KNOW Joey is as judgy about that as she was about the party itself until she actually showed up for it. Elsewhere, it's finally time for the date Henry and Jen have been talking about for several episodes. Henry got the meal comped, but still wants to arrive with a gift, and the best way he can think of to make some quick cash is not to do more odd jobs for his elderly benefactress but to sell his plasma...a lot. We HEART you, so we brought you an episode on "Valentine's Day Massacre"!

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It's time for the play! Andie's stressed as hell, and that's BEFORE Mr. Broderick has a medical emergency that requires her to take over for him entirely! Even though Joey's been helping Pacey run his lines, he still isn't off-book and NEEDS her to be there opening night! But...she can't, because she has a date with AJ to attend a northern lights party with a bunch of old nerds! The play is also Jen's excuse for postponing her big dinner out with Henry, but when he calls her bluff, she has no reason to say why he shouldn't attend the show with her! As for Dawson: he's still in such crisis about his true purpose in life that he's DROPPED FILM CLASS!!! Find somewhere comfortable to watch the skies: we're here to tell you all about "Northern Lights"!

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