Rose hangs around when others are talking, always lingers a little after meetings, and just starts talking when people are working. Her game is to get people talking whether they want to talk or not.

 

Once people are talking, she jumps in or says something like, "I could not help hearing what you were talking about." Of course, she could help it. She makes a point to hear. Nonetheless, she now expresses her opinion. Whatever the topic, she has an opinion.

 

Her opinion is that things are a mess. She thinks things should be handled better. In fact, the company is going to the dogs. Why? Everyone - except her - is incompetent and does not know what he/she is doing. Adding, "I have said this before but. . .." is a master touch.

 

Here is the key to the technique. If someone asks Rose for her opinion on something, she says, "I have some strong opinions on this, but I want to hear your ideas first." Notice she is clear about her having opinions - more than one - on the topic. No matter what the other person says, Rose is ready. She has managed to move back to a position from which to react to what others are saying. She is not one to let anyone get her out of position. The thorn of Rose works best as a weapon with which to stick someone, anyone.

 

Management Tips:

 

Understanding the motivations of agitators is not too difficult if you look at their behavior and then ask yourself why they are behaving that way. More to the point, what do they get out of it? Their motivations are in the payoff or what they get.

 

The agitator will say anything no matter who gets hurt or feels badly. What does the player get? He/she gets a cheap moment in the spotlight, even if it is at the expense of a co-worker. Just keep in mind that the player will say anything about anyone, including you.Agitators also get their kicks from complaining. They are again in the spotlight. Of course, there is always a little more power in that position.

 

The player makes things seem bad, people seem incompetent, and everything appears worse than it is. The player gets attention, gets a little more power for a little while, and is seen as someone who is in the know and on top of things. Experienced players do this in a way that is additive over time. They also take care not to overdo it. They are very good at not giving away their game.

 

Given the behavior, its varieties and its motivations, what does counter play look like? Listen to what the agitator has to say and then say, "You are a trip. You can find more ways to look at things negatively than anyone I know." The strategy is to call the player on the behavior and make it clear that you have no interest in what he/she says. There is no power reinforcement for the behavior.

 

In another example, a player is agitating. She says something negative about someone. The classy response is, "I am surprised to hear you say that. I do not think it is true." The player will almost always press on with, "It is true! I . . .." She goes on to say some more negative things.

 

Your response is, "You probably would describe the tooth fairy as a thief." Now comes the real trick. No matter what the player says next, do not respond. The game is over.

 

As with most people who drive you up the wall, the trick to counter play with agitators is to do what needs to be done and then quit. Players of any type or variety can only play with people who will play. For agitators, just be sure they get minimal attention and no additional power or status from you. Quietly and calmly call them on their behavior and then let it go. When others do not play,