Welcome, ladies, germs and people of all genders! Thank you for joining Taylor & Curtis for another of our PATENTED (aka Patton Oswalt now I guess?) bonus reviews, where we review new releases from 2019. This time, we're providing a brief, spoiler-free review of The Lighthouse, the new film from director Robert Eggers, director of the Witch (or "the VVitch," but frankly I refuse to acknowledge this). Did this phallic phlick make us want to spill our beans in happiness... or sadness? Listen and find out!

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NOTE: Unfortunately, Curtis recorded this episode on his webcam microphone instead of his actual microphone and didn't notice until it was too late! Oopsie! Now, I know this raises a lot of questions - namely, who has an actual honest-to-god webcam in the Year 2019? - but for now, please just accept my apologies for the poor sound quality and buzzing!