This is your News You do not Need podcast.

You ever have one of those days where you’re just going about your business, feeling like a pretty average person in a mostly average world—then suddenly, news breaks reminding you that reality is just one big surrealist painting, and we’re all living in the section Picasso never showed his mother? That’s pretty much how I felt this morning when I discovered today’s truly unnecessary, but undeniably strange, headline: A high school student in Baltimore found himself briefly starring in a real-life sci-fi farce, courtesy of his school’s shiny new artificial intelligence security system, and a regular, crumply bag of potato chips.

Here’s what happened. You’re a teenager, waiting for your ride home, minding your own business, snacking on some chips. Suddenly, you—rather innocently—crumple up the empty bag and shove it into your pocket. Enter, stage left: the all-seeing, ever-vigilant “Destekz Stekz” AI detection system. Now, this AI was supposedly designed to spot weapons and keep schools safe. Instead, it saw you, Teenager Number One, pocketing your salty snack carcass…and it saw a deadly threat. Not a snack, oh no, but apparently the most devious gun-shaped snack ever to grace the lunchroom. Talk about a dangerous Dorito. Cue instant lockdown mode.

Next thing you know, police are swarming, convinced there’s a potential culinary catastrophe unfolding. Guns drawn, they order you to the ground, demanding you drop whatever threatening item you have. Bewildered, you thrust your hands in the air, probably still dusted in nacho cheese residue, thinking this must be what it’s like to live inside a bad episode of Black Mirror. Thankfully, the officers quickly realized that the only thing threatening about your “weapon” was the cholesterol. The whole situation de-escalated, and, as you’d expect, the student says he now prefers to wait for his ride indoors—presumably in a chip-free zone.

The school later reassured everyone that, technically, the AI system worked “as intended.” Because nothing says “peace of mind” quite like algorithms that confuse Frito-Lay with firearms. Next in line: orange fingers mistaken for Cheeto-based explosives, or maybe a pudding cup identified as a chemical threat. One can only dream.

Now, you could argue there are far bigger stories in the world today. Hurricanes, politics, even jewel-encrusted royal heists—sure, they’re important. But I’d argue nothing demonstrates the absurd theater of modern life quite like a lunch snack tripping an anti-terror alarm in 2025.

So, my unsolicited advice for the day: next time you’re tempted to tidy up after lunch, remember, in the age of artificial intelligence you’re only one bag of barbeque chips away from your moment of infamy. Either that, or just eat celery. It’s quiet, safe, and the only drama it causes is to your taste buds.

For more http://www.quietplease.ai


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This content was created in partnership and with the help of Artificial Intelligence AI