Y'know, the whole reason we were staying at home was to avoid naked ambulance stealers, right?

Story #1 - A Naked Guy Steals an Ambulance and Crashes It into a Building

Story #2 - A guy told the cops he couldn't have been the one who stole prescription drugs out of his sister's purse . . . because he only uses heroin.  He even offered to show his needles as proof.

Story #3 - Man Gets 60 Days in Jail for Attacking McDonald's Worker Over Straw