NO LAWS WHEN YOU'RE DRINKING CLAWSSSSSS 

Story #1 - A Guy Tries to Avoid Getting Arrested by Throwing White Claws at the Cops

Story #2 - A woman hit and badly injured a 12-year-old kid on a bike with her car . . . then sued him because his bike scratched her car . . . and she WON. 

Story #3 - Cops are looking for a guy who stole seven bottles of wine by stuffing them down his pants.