07.10.2021 - By Jeff Berwick
Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen. This is your captain speaking. I’m not a real captain, with training or anything, but that doesn’t matter. Just trust me. First, I'd like to welcome everyone on the Midnight Meat Plane…err…Express. We are currently cruising at an altitude of 33,000 feet at an airspeed of 666 miles per hour.…