Maria Arpa MBE sits down with James Ellis, a coach and coach trainer who specialises in enhancing workplace dynamics across various sectors, including education and private equity. James shares valuable insights on the importance of effective communication and the role of coaching in fostering a positive workplace culture. He emphasises the significance of upfront conversations, or "contracting," to prevent conflicts and improve interactions among team members. The discussion also explores how individuals can shift from a fear-based mindset to one rooted in values, ultimately leading to more constructive relationships. Listeners are encouraged to adopt practical strategies, such as replacing the word "why" with "what" in conversations and distinguishing between facts and perceptions, to enhance their communication skills and navigate workplace challenges more effectively.

Key Takeaways

1. Quality of Interactions: The quality of our interactions directly influences the quality of our outputs. Engaging in meaningful conversations about how we will communicate can prevent conflicts and misunderstandings in the workplace.

2. Contracting and Designing Conversations: Establishing upfront agreements about how to handle feedback and interactions can mitigate potential conflicts. This includes discussing how to give and receive feedback constructively.

3. Curiosity Over Assumptions: Approaching conversations with curiosity rather than judgment can lead to more productive outcomes. Instead of asking "why," which can imply blame, asking "what happened" fosters a more open dialogue.

4. Understanding Perspectives: Recognizing that each individual may have a different perspective on the same situation is crucial. Engaging in conversations to uncover these perspectives can help avoid assumptions and build better relationships.

5. Values vs. Fears: Encouraging individuals to operate from their values rather than their fears can enhance their interactions and decision-making processes. This shift in mindset can lead to more positive and constructive workplace dynamics.

Related links

Website: https://mariaarpa.com/

Workplace Consultancy: https://workplacehuddle.com/

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MariaArpaMBE

Host BIO

Maria founded the Centre for Peaceful Solutions in response to the fatal shooting of a 7 year old in her neighbourhood. She developed a model of conflict resolution for violent crime using her brainchild, the Dialogue Road Map (DRM).  

Over 30 years she has mediated everything from threat to life gang disputes to high stakes business deals gone wrong, Maria empowers people to resolve conflict without reliance on experts. So she trains violent prisoners to be facilitators, leaders to be effective communicators, teenagers to be peer mediators and neighbours to be tenant listeners within their respective communities.

The DRM has applications in all aspects of life and is used for resolving conflict, repairing harm, decision making and healing at an individual and group level. It challenges people to live in harmony with their values. In 2020 Maria received an MBE from the Queen for services to mediation.

Learn More About Us: https://www.centreforpeacefulsolutions.org/

This episode of 'All Things Conflict' is completely different to what you will hear anywhere else. Today Maria Arpa MBE engages in a LIVE case study. From this episode YOU will learn how Maria would navigate a tough conversation within the workplace and what steps she would take to make sure the conflict is as minimal as possible.

Key Takeaways

1. Addressing Behavior with Compassion: It's important to approach difficult conversations with empathy and clarity, ensuring that the employee understands the issue while feeling supported rather than attacked.

2. Encouraging Self-Awareness: Employees should be encouraged to reflect on their behavior and its impact on the workplace. Self-awareness can lead to better decision-making and improved interactions with colleagues.

3. Setting Clear Boundaries: Establishing boundaries around workplace behavior is crucial. Employees should understand the difference between friendly interactions and those that may disrupt productivity or create discomfort among colleagues.

4. Promoting Open Communication: Encouraging a culture where employees feel comfortable addressing issues directly with one another can prevent misunderstandings and foster a more cohesive work environment.

5. Monitoring Progress and Accountability: Regular follow-ups are essential to ensure that the employee is making the necessary changes. Accountability helps reinforce the importance of adhering to workplace standards and expectations.

Related links

Website: https://mariaarpa.com/

Workplace Consultancy: https://workplacehuddle.com/

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MariaArpaMBE

Host BIO

Maria founded the Centre for Peaceful Solutions in response to the fatal shooting of a 7 year old in her neighbourhood. She developed a model of conflict resolution for violent crime using her brainchild, the Dialogue Road Map (DRM).  

Over 30 years she has mediated everything from threat to life gang disputes to high stakes business deals gone wrong, Maria empowers people to resolve conflict without reliance on experts. So she trains violent prisoners to be facilitators, leaders to be effective communicators, teenagers to be peer mediators and neighbours to be tenant listeners within their respective communities.

The DRM has applications in all aspects of life and is used for resolving conflict, repairing harm, decision making and healing at an individual and group level. It challenges people to live in harmony with their values. In 2020 Maria received an MBE from the Queen for services to mediation.

Learn More About Us: https://www.centreforpeacefulsolutions.org/

Maria Arpa MBE engages in a conversation with Cornelia Staeubli, CEO and co-founder of the renowned Ottolenghi restaurant chain. They explore the complexities of workplace dynamics from an employer's perspective, particularly focusing on the challenges of scaling a small family business from 20 to nearly 600 employees. Cornelia shares insights on the importance of communication, the need for clear processes, and the value of investing in staff development, especially in the high-pressure hospitality industry. The discussion also touches on the significance of understanding cultural differences among a diverse workforce and the necessity of addressing conflicts promptly to maintain a positive work environment. Throughout the episode, Cornelia emphasises the importance of relationships and learning from experiences, highlighting that people are the greatest asset in any business.

Key Takeaways

1. Importance of Communication: Clear communication is essential in a growing organization. It is crucial to ensure that messages are sent and received as intended, and checking back with team members can help prevent misunderstandings.

2. Addressing Issues Promptly: Conflicts and issues should be addressed immediately rather than being allowed to fester. Open discussions after service can help resolve tensions and foster a supportive work environment.

3. Investing in Training: Cutting training budgets can be detrimental to employee development and overall service quality. Investing in training helps staff feel valued and improves communication and teamwork.

4. Understanding Cultural Differences: In a diverse workplace, being aware of cultural differences in communication styles is vital. Taking a moment to consider how to approach conversations can help mitigate conflicts.

5. Valuing Relationships: Building strong relationships with employees is key to a successful business. Fostering goodwill and understanding among team members can lead to a more harmonious and productive work environment.

Related links

Website: https://mariaarpa.com/

Workplace Consultancy: https://workplacehuddle.com/

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MariaArpaMBE

Host BIO

Maria founded the Centre for Peaceful Solutions in response to the fatal shooting of a 7 year old in her neighbourhood. She developed a model of conflict resolution for violent crime using her brainchild, the Dialogue Road Map (DRM).  

Over 30 years she has mediated everything from threat to life gang disputes to high stakes business deals gone wrong, Maria empowers people to resolve conflict without reliance on experts. So she trains violent prisoners to be facilitators, leaders to be effective communicators, teenagers to be peer mediators and neighbours to be tenant listeners within their respective communities.

The DRM has applications in all aspects of life and is used for resolving conflict, repairing harm, decision making and healing at an individual and group level. It challenges people to live in harmony with their values. In 2020 Maria received an MBE from the Queen for services to mediation.

Learn More About Us: https://www.centreforpeacefulsolutions.org/

Maria Arpa MBE engages in a thought-provoking conversation with Adrian Pagdin, a leadership development expert with a rich background in hospitality and coaching. Adrian shares his transformative journey at Unilever, where he was deeply involved in promoting a purpose-led culture. He reflects on the challenges he faced when a personality clash disrupted his previously harmonious work environment, leading to feelings of burnout and confusion. The discussion delves into the complexities of workplace conflict, the importance of authenticity, and the power of resilience. Adrian emphasises the significance of self-awareness and the choice to respond with gratitude and compassion, ultimately highlighting the mantra "I am enough" as a guiding principle for personal growth and fulfillment. Listeners are invited to explore Adrian's insights further through his work at Purpose Interaction, including retreats aimed at fostering meaningful connections and sustainable happiness.

Key Takeaways

1. The Importance of Purpose: Engaging with purpose in the workplace can lead to personal transformation and a deeper understanding of one's impact on the world. The experience of participating in a purpose workshop can help individuals redefine their roles beyond job titles.

2. Navigating Conflict: Conflict in the workplace can be destabilizing, especially when it involves questioning one's integrity and intentions. It's crucial to create an environment where individuals feel safe to express themselves and where failure is seen as a part of growth.

3. Resilience and Authenticity: Resilience is not just about bouncing back from adversity; it also involves maintaining authenticity in challenging situations. The ability to choose how to respond to conflict and adversity is essential for personal growth.

4. Community and Connection: Sustainable happiness and energy come from community, meaningful connections, and contributing to something larger than oneself. Neglecting these aspects can lead to burnout and a loss of purpose.

5. Self-Acceptance: Embracing the idea that "I am enough" is vital for personal development. Recognizing one's authenticity and valuing oneself can lead to a more fulfilling life, free from the pressure of comparing oneself to others.

Related links

Website

https://mariaarpa.com/

Workplace Consultancy

https://workplacehuddle.com/

YouTube

https://www.youtube.com/@MariaArpaMBE

Adrian's Website: http://adrianpagdin.com/

Adrian's Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/adrianpagdin/?originalSubdomain=uk 

Host BIO

Maria founded the Centre for Peaceful Solutions in response to the fatal shooting of a 7 year old in her neighbourhood. She developed a model of conflict resolution for violent crime using her brainchild, the Dialogue Road Map (DRM).  

Over 30 years she has mediated everything from threat to life gang disputes to high stakes business deals gone wrong, Maria empowers people to resolve conflict without reliance on experts. So she trains violent prisoners to be facilitators, leaders to be effective communicators, teenagers to be peer mediators and neighbours to be tenant listeners within their respective communities.

The DRM has applications in all aspects of life and is used for resolving conflict, repairing harm, decision making and healing at an individual and group level. It challenges people to live in harmony with their values. In 2020 Maria received an MBE from the Queen for services to mediation.

Learn More About Us: https://www.centreforpeacefulsolutions.org/

Maria Arpa MBE welcomes retired detective and true crime presenter Jackie Malton to discuss her extensive career in the Metropolitan Police and the inner conflicts faced by women in the workplace. Jackie shares her experiences of navigating a male-dominated environment, the challenges of sexual discrimination, and the personal toll it took on her mental health. She reflects on her journey of self-discovery, recovery from alcoholism, and the importance of finding one's authentic self amidst societal pressures. The conversation delves into the dynamics of workplace culture, the bystander effect, and the need for critical loyalty in addressing wrongdoing. Jackie also highlights her current work helping men in prison with addiction issues and her memoir, "The Real Prime Suspect," which chronicles her life and career.

Key Takeaways

1. Evolution of the Workplace: The Metropolitan Police has undergone significant changes since the 1970s, reflecting broader societal shifts. The integration of women into the police force has been a slow but ongoing process, highlighting the importance of adapting to changing social norms.

2. Personal Experiences of Harassment: The discussion reveals the challenges faced by women in male-dominated workplaces, including harassment and discrimination. Personal anecdotes illustrate the lengths to which individuals had to go to fit in and the internal conflicts that arose from compromising their values.

3. Impact of Alcoholism and Recovery: The journey through addiction and recovery is emphasised as a critical turning point. Seeking help through Alcoholics Anonymous led to a deeper understanding of personal struggles, anxiety, and the importance of self-validation.

4. Bystander Effect and Critical Loyalty: The conversation addresses the bystander effect in workplaces, where individuals may remain silent in the face of wrongdoing due to fear of social repercussions. Promoting critical loyalty encourages colleagues to challenge inappropriate behavior while maintaining a sense of team integrity.

5. Holistic Understanding of Conflict: The importance of examining the context of conflicts within organizations is highlighted. By understanding the underlying issues and dynamics, individuals can foster healthier workplace environments and encourage open dialogue about moral and ethical standards.

Related links

Website: https://mariaarpa.com/

Workplace Consultancy: https://workplacehuddle.com/

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MariaArpaMBE

Host BIO

Maria founded the Centre for Peaceful Solutions in response to the fatal shooting of a 7 year old in her neighbourhood. She developed a model of conflict resolution for violent crime using her brainchild, the Dialogue Road Map (DRM).  

Over 30 years she has mediated everything from threat to life gang disputes to high stakes business deals gone wrong, Maria empowers people to resolve conflict without reliance on experts. So she trains violent prisoners to be facilitators, leaders to be effective communicators, teenagers to be peer mediators and neighbours to be tenant listeners within their respective communities.

The DRM has applications in all aspects of life and is used for resolving conflict, repairing harm, decision making and healing at an individual and group level. It challenges people to live in harmony with their values. In 2020 Maria received an MBE from the Queen for services to mediation.

Learn More About Us: https://www.centreforpeacefulsolutions.org/

Welcome to All Things Conflict! In this introductory episode, Maria Arpa MBE explains what 'All Things Conflict' is and why this podcast will help you to resolve any conflicts within your life. Whether it's at home, personal life or in the Workplace. This series we will be focusing on workplace conflicts Maria will look into where they may arise and how to resolve these conflicts whether your employee or the employer.

Welcome to All Things Conflict!

Related links

Website

https://mariaarpa.com/

Workplace Consultancy

https://workplacehuddle.com/

YouTube

https://www.youtube.com/@MariaArpaMBE

Host BIO

Maria founded the Centre for Peaceful Solutions in response to the fatal shooting of a 7 year old in her neighbourhood. She developed a model of conflict resolution for violent crime using her brainchild, the Dialogue Road Map (DRM).  

Over 30 years she has mediated everything from threat to life gang disputes to high stakes business deals gone wrong, Maria empowers people to resolve conflict without reliance on experts. So she trains violent prisoners to be facilitators, leaders to be effective communicators, teenagers to be peer mediators and neighbours to be tenant listeners within their respective communities.

The DRM has applications in all aspects of life and is used for resolving conflict, repairing harm, decision making and healing at an individual and group level. It challenges people to live in harmony with their values. In 2020 Maria received an MBE from the Queen for services to mediation.

Learn More About Us: https://www.centreforpeacefulsolutions.org/

Maria Arpa MBE welcomes Michelle Cox, a race equality consultant and fellow with the Royal College of Nursing, who shares her powerful journey of confronting racism within the NHS. Michelle recounts her experiences of discrimination and the bold decision to take her case to an Employment Tribunal, highlighting the challenges she faced in advocating for fairness and equity in the workplace. Through her story, she emphasizes the importance of speaking truth to power, the need for organizations to listen to their employees, and the profound impact of systemic racism. Michelle also discusses her current work, including her consultancy, activism, and the establishment of the Michelle Cox Anti-Racism Awards, all aimed at promoting anti-racism initiatives and supporting those who face discrimination in their careers. This episode serves as a poignant reminder of the ongoing struggle for equality and the courage it takes to challenge the status quo.

Key Takeaways

1. Importance of Advocacy: Taking a stand against discrimination and advocating for systemic change is crucial, especially for those in positions of influence. The decision to speak out can be driven by a sense of responsibility to represent and protect others who may not have the same platform.

2. Challenges of Mediation: Mediation can often be ineffective in cases involving power imbalances, particularly when it comes to discrimination. It is essential for organizations to recognize that mediation may not address the underlying issues and can sometimes exacerbate the situation.

3. Need for Support Systems: Being part of a union is vital for employees facing discrimination. Unions can provide necessary legal support and resources, which are crucial for navigating complex grievance processes and potential employment tribunals.

4. Listening and Understanding: Organizations must prioritize listening to their employees' concerns, especially regarding discrimination. A culture of open communication and understanding can prevent issues from escalating and foster a more inclusive workplace.

5. Long-term Impact of Discrimination: Experiencing discrimination can have lasting effects on an individual's mental health and well-being. The journey through grievance processes and tribunals can be traumatic, highlighting the need for organizations to address issues proactively and compassionately.

Related links

Website: https://mariaarpa.com/

Workplace Consultancy: https://workplacehuddle.com/

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MariaArpaMBE

Michelles Website: https://www.michellecox1.co.uk 

Host BIO

Maria founded the Centre for Peaceful Solutions in response to the fatal shooting of a 7 year old in her neighbourhood. She developed a model of conflict resolution for violent crime using her brainchild, the Dialogue Road Map (DRM).  

Over 30 years she has mediated everything from threat to life gang disputes to high stakes business deals gone wrong, Maria empowers people to resolve conflict without reliance on experts. So she trains violent prisoners to be facilitators, leaders to be effective communicators, teenagers to be peer mediators and neighbours to be tenant listeners within their respective communities.

The DRM has applications in all aspects of life and is used for resolving conflict, repairing harm, decision making and healing at an individual and group level. It challenges people to live in harmony with their values. In 2020 Maria received an MBE from the Queen for services to mediation.

Learn More About Us: https://www.centreforpeacefulsolutions.org/

Maria Arpa MBE engages in a thought-provoking conversation with her friend and philosopher, Paul, about the concept of "systemic win." They explore the dynamics of conflict resolution, emphasising the importance of not just achieving a win-win situation but ensuring that all parties, including the broader community and environment, benefit from the resolution. Paul shares insights on how to navigate disagreements, the significance of awareness in communication, and the need for collaboration over competition. The discussion highlights the philosophical underpinnings of their approaches to conflict and the necessity of aligning individual and collective interests for sustainable relationships, both personally and in the workplace.

Key Takeaways

1. Systemic Win Philosophy: The concept of systemic win emphasizes that conflicts should only be considered resolved when all parties involved, as well as the broader environment and society, benefit from the outcome. It goes beyond the traditional win-win approach by including the well-being of the entire system.

2. Awareness and Communication: Effective communication is crucial in navigating conflicts. It's important to pay attention to how our actions affect others and to recognize when we are bringing out the best or worst in each other. This awareness can help prevent downward spirals of conflict.

3. Collaboration vs. Competition: In any relationship or workplace, there are three ways to respond to conflict: ignoring, collaborating, or competing. Choosing collaboration is often the most productive path, as it fosters a sense of shared purpose and mutual benefit.

4. Philosophy in the Workplace: Organizations should establish a guiding philosophy that prioritizes the well-being of all stakeholders, not just profit. This involves understanding what it means to create a sustainable and supportive work environment that values contributions beyond just financial gain.

5. Future Self Consideration: Decisions made in the heat of the moment can have long-term consequences. It's essential to consider how our actions today will affect our future relationships and interactions, promoting a mindset of systemic self-interest that benefits both ourselves and others in the long run.

Key Quotes

1. "If there's a conflict, it's only over when you've got somewhere better than you were before the conflict began." - Paul

2. "It's not just about people. It's about our environment. It's about our society." - Paul

3. "We have a lot of problems with our neighbours... Am I trying to make it better? Am I trying to make it worse? Or do I not care?" - Paul

4. "What am I doing that's not bringing out their better in them?" - Paul

5. "Life only works through collaboration. Our body only works because all these different parts of us work together." - Paul

Related links

Website: https://mariaarpa.com/

Workplace Consultancy: https://workplacehuddle.com/

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MariaArpaMBE

Host BIO

Maria founded the Centre for Peaceful Solutions in response to the fatal shooting of a 7 year old in her neighbourhood. She developed a model of conflict resolution for violent crime using her brainchild, the Dialogue Road Map (DRM).  

Over 30 years she has mediated everything from threat to life gang disputes to high stakes business deals gone wrong, Maria empowers people to resolve conflict without reliance on experts. So she trains violent prisoners to be facilitators, leaders to be effective communicators, teenagers to be peer mediators and neighbours to be tenant listeners within their respective communities.

The DRM has applications in all aspects of life and is used for resolving conflict, repairing harm, decision making and healing at an individual and group level. It challenges people to live in harmony with their values. In 2020 Maria received an MBE from the Queen for services to mediation.

Learn More About Us: https://www.centreforpeacefulsolutions.org/