As I gear up to leave for South Africa, I thought I’d share a bit about why I’m going, how I was led to the couple I’ll be interviewing (shared at the tail end, min 48:00) and sharing parts of my testimony as it ties in to God leading me there.

I’ll be sharing more on social media and posting from South Africa, so if you don’t follow there be sure to follow along @themarriageprojectco.

So, my testimony…where do I even begin?

Episode notes:

From an early age my innocence was stolen (not included in episode but important to note). What happened to me at a young age was not okay. It wasn’t until years later I realized that. From there, sexuality and sensuality was heightened to me and is what I became accustomed to — being used and being totally honest, I really liked the attention I got from guys by acting sensually, provocatively. It eventually became this — all I knew was hook ups and negative toxic relationship patterns.

It was a vicious cycle.

I didn’t even know there was another option. A different type of guy, ones with integrity and decency. But my heart became so hard, that’s who I became drawn to. Again, vicious cycle.

I was in two unhealthy relationships from age 15-21. One last four and a half years.
Then I had “the Vegas era” and that’s where I felt most at home…sin city, tells you where my heart was at. That described it, sin city.

I became obsessed with the idea of a certain type of relationship and being in love but it was an immature skewed view of “love” and an irrational, unrealistic one at that.

When I first discovered the Word of God personally I knew love for the first time. And that may sound weird but it isn’t, because Jesus is described as the Word. Read John 1 (1-14). And beyond His Word, He is closer than any human relationship can get and this love is real and true and not broken. His love won’t hurt me.

To experience this kind of radical purest form of love after a series of serious heartache and anxiety and sad tears, I began to cry more. But this time they were healing tears. And tears of repentance.

I share more about the road with Jesus I’ve been on since. And meeting Him at the cross.

I share how parts of my heart still want to resist and how that’s been the struggle all along. I’ve always resisted anything good for me and willingly opened myself up to the things that’d hurt. But thank God for grace and His patience…

He’s taken me on what I call “the redemption tour” — meaning God has literally taken me back to places I once had really horrible memories and has retraced them with His loving thread of redemption, replacing them with good memories…Vegas is included in this. Had the coolest worship experience in a a church in Las Vegas two years ago. God always knew the girl walk of shaming out of a hotel would one day walk through church doors and lift her hands high in worship…

Healing has come through God’s Word, community, and through the body of Christ. I understand some people have been hurt by the church but it was the church and the people in it that God used to help me through healing and continues to use. Their love and support, kindness accountability, intentionality and care.

Also, for me specifically healing began through photography, giving me something to take the focus off me, literally — and discipleship.

However, it is Jesus who worked this skill set in. HE IS THE HEALER. It’s Jesus. Knowing Him intimately and letting Him in to the precious parts of your heart.

Correction** I mention a verse being from Ephesians in the episode. It is actually from Philippians and the verses I’m referring to are Philippians 2:1-5.

God really ministered this to my h