How do you know when it’s best to quit a relationship? Unfortunately, many people find themselves in codependent relationships that undermine their self-worth, value, and happiness. This episode will give you tools to determine whether you are in a codependent relationship as well as how to decide whether you can work through it with the other person or if it is best to leave. 

Transformation Tip: “The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much and forgetting that you are special too.” - Earnest Hemingway

How do you know when it’s best to quit a relationship or when it’s best to adjust?

Codependent relationships are a form of addiction. This is when you are dependent on another person for your value, self-worth, happiness, etc.

How do I know if I’m in a codependent relationship?

• Savior mentality - you feel like you need to save a person from themselves. You take responsibility for things that they need to take responsibility for. 
• You want to change who a person is to meet your needs. Manipulative and controlling. 
• You don’t feel like you can take time to work on yourself because a person needs you. Acts of self-care feel selfish - boundaries are violated. 
• You find it difficult to explain how you are feeling about the relationship. You feel like you are walking on eggshells and live in fear of saying the wrong thing. 
• You feel anxious when you don’t hear from a person. You need to know where they are all the time. Your world feels unstable if you aren’t connected with a person constantly. 
• You have trouble being alone without constantly thinking about a person and wondering what they are doing. 
• You will cancel any appointments, meetings, or other scheduled things just to be with a person. Making big sacrifices on a regular basis for them. 

Self-awareness from both people is the key to adjusting and realigning an unhealthy codependent relationship into a healthy one

Seek outside counsel from someone you trust to speak clarity and truth to you about your relationship. Ask them what they are seeing or what they are concerned about. You must come with an open and teachable heart. 

Examine your core value system and see if this relationship is causing you to violate it. 

If you set healthy boundaries for yourself within the relationship, how would the other person respond? 

Transformation Application: If you see a pattern of codependency in your life, FORGIVE YOURSELF. 

Coaching Resources:

http://www.stevechuaintl.com

http://www.petecoaching.com/

https://www.insightoutcorp.com/

 

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