Amorous Goods: Time Does Stand Still at Christmas
An old watch and a
demon can really screw up a family.
on a post by ShowTime8.
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lifelong collector of goods and objects from far and wide has passed and left
the entire collection and the business built around them to the only remaining
relative, a niece on a career path of her own. Vikki has taken on the task of
administering the estate and liquidating the business and collection. However,
she has come to find out that many of the goods have been cursed or enchanted
with amorous powers that affect those who encounter them. This 18 part series
is devoted to many of the stories of those encounters with objects found at Amorous Goods.
hunched over the wheel of her Saturn. The wipers flashed back and forth, back
and forth, back and forth; It was a perfect day to drive back to her dad's
house. Dark, gloomy, the chance of snow - just awful. She didn't want to go
back, but she really had no choice. College was over, but no job offers had
had been so happy leaving home for college. Her dad had remarried after a
particularly nasty divorce. Deb was happy for him, but she didn't really like
her stepmom and absolutely detested her new stepbrother. He was everything she
wasn't. Good looking, popular, and had a baseball scholarship to a major
college. She was plain, overlooked, and had struggled to get into a reasonably
successful minor college.
was four years younger than Debbie but made her life hell. And naturally, his
mom took his side. Her dad could see what was happening but tried to walk a
delicate tightrope between the two families.
know it's hard for you, but try to get along with Johnny. He's only sixteen.
He'll grow out of it." Brian, her dad, said in the early days of the
invasion. He tried to soothe his daughter, but Debbie knew the type of asshole
her stepbrother was. Six years later, nothing had changed.
now she was going back to that hell hole. What was worse - if it could get
worse, was her dad wasn't going to be there for the first couple of days. She
was going to have to deal with the Johnny and Janey
show by herself. She shuddered at the thought. Deb had looked for any other
alternative, but she didn't have the friends or funds to stay away. Money for
gas and a cheap meal or two was about it. Not even enough to buy her dad a
Christmas card. She hoped a couple of applications she'd made to local
businesses would yield something soon. Anything.
does my life suck so much?" she rhetorically asked the world. A thought
drifted into her head suggesting she was cursed. She told it to fuck off. She
may be a Graphic Arts major, but she didn't believe in curses. Bad luck, poor
choices, wrong genes, but not curses.
Heading towards sleet. Her stomach growled angrily at the remains of the early
winter storm thumping the North East. She looked at the clock on the dashboard
and calculated the time left to get home, then her finances. She figured she
had enough for a cheeseburger and a decent coffee. Right on cue, the ubiquitous
yellow and red burger sign appeared on the highway, so she pulled into the car
park. Deb thought about just getting drive-through, but the need to pee was
she muttered, getting out of the car and slamming the door. "Let's eat a
limp burger with a bunch of snotty teens pretending this is a cool place to
ran to the door and looked for the bathroom. Nobody looked at her. That was
normal. After finishing she ordered her meal and sat in a corner booth. The
burger was average but the coffee was surprisingly good. She settled back and
picked up a discarded local paper someone had left behind and started flicking
through it. Debbie wasn't really interested in the news, but the composition
was different from most current newspapers. It was set in a very unusual 1930's
style - so odd she checked the date to make sure it wasn't out of a museum.
date was current. Deb figured it was a marketing ploy to make it stand out from
the rapidly dwindling competition, and kept flicking the pages. She stopped
when she got to the classifieds and a small ad caught her eye.
shrugged and turned the page, but her mind didn't want to leave. She turned
back to the advertisement and looked up the address using the free Wi-Fi. It
wasn't too far away, and more importantly, visiting the store gave her an
excuse to stay away from the JJ shitstorm
of her actual family on vacation visiting antique stores came flooding back.
Her dad loved old timepieces and Japanese art, while her mom loved porcelain
animals. Deb was just fascinated by anything old and unusual. She finished her
coffee, picked up the paper and quickly walked to the car. Mercifully the rain
had tapered off to a mere drizzle.
checked the address again on her phone and drove off. A short time later she
parked outside an old mansion that had seen better days. In the gloom, it
looked downright spooky. It seemed an odd place for an antique store, but Deb
assumed it was part of a small business complex in the old building. The upkeep
on a building this size would be horrendous.
walked up the path and through the front door. The place looked so familiar,
like many stores she had visited before. Glass cabinets filled with small
items, miscellaneous furniture placed randomly on the floor and shelving around
the walls with beautiful copperplate script notes generally describing the
evening Miss, welcome to Amorous Goods. Can I help you with anything?"
turned around from admiring a small Japanese woodblock print on a shelf and
smiled at the speaker. "Hi, I'm just looking thanks. You have some
wonderful items here, though. Like this print. I'd swear it was by Katsushika
Hokusai, but he didn't do paintings of people in, umm, such intimate
man chuckled, "You have a very good eye, Miss. It is actually a Hokusai.
The builder of this collection," he said, sweeping his arm and pointing at
the room, "had a knack of finding highly unusual and rare pieces that had
an erotic connection. Hence the name of the store."
carefully picked up the print. "Vikki, my co-owner, believes this is one
of three still in existence. How did you know what it was?"
shrugged. "My dad loves Japanese art. He has some reproduction Hokusai
prints, but so many books on him. I'd love to get a real one for his Christmas
present, but I think that one would be way out of my price range."
a nice daughter. What's your price range? Maybe there's something else we
doubt it. My budget is extremely low. Like non-existent."
Well, there's no harm in you having a look around. You may see something you
like, and we could hold it for you for a short time."
Mr.; I'd love to see what else you have."
just Dylan will be fine. So Japanese; There's a few items that may interest
walked around the shop, picking up items and describing them to Deb. She was
amazed at the range of goods and Dylan's knowledge of each item. As he
mentioned, each one seemed to have an erotic element somewhere in it's past.
Even the razor sharp katana had been used by the Samurai protecting the virginity
of the Emperor's daughter. It apparently had been quite successful in defending
her honor. It was all fantastic, but nothing she could ever hope to afford.
Dylan stopped at a glass cabinet and picked up a large pocket watch with a felt
cloth. He held it in his palm and passed it to Deb. "This is interesting.
It's a Japanese pocket watch combined with a stopwatch. It's not that old,
probably late 1960's, and is plated silver. The note with it said it was a prop
in some early 70's; questionable movies. Unfortunately, we can't confirm its
provenance so we're selling it at the typical price for such an item."
took the watch and carefully looked at it. The face was a painting of two
Geishas attending a Samurai warrior. Around the edge of the face was kana
script, so small it was barely legible. On the rear was a larger kanji
engraving, which she roughly translated as 'Time will stop, but love is
beautiful," she said quietly, "I've never seen something like that
before. And the kanji. What a nice present." She shook her head. Holding
the watch seemed to fill her with an unusual warmth. Just a flash, then it was
gone. She handed it back to Dylan, who picked it up in the cloth again. "I
probably can't afford it either, but I'm interested in its history. What movies
was it supposed to be in? I may have watched them."
chuckled. "Possibly. I don't judge people's tastes. Some of them were 'Otoko wa tetsudō
de jikan o teishi shimasu, Otoko wa taiikukan de jikan o teishi shimasu, Otoko wa jikanwotomete sararīman to sekkusu;�
blinked at the last title. "Man stops time and has sex with office worker?
I did say they were questionable movies. They were early Japanese reality
pornography, the first in this particular genre. The premise was the male
character had a watch that could stop time for anyone around him, and he would
carry out sexual acts on them. It spawned a huge number of copycat movies, but
this was supposed to be unscripted, real-life acts."
That's creepy." She looked at the watch again. "How much is it?"
Deb asked. She didn't really like the tale, but the watch itself was something
her dad would really appreciate.
have it at $85, mainly because of its age." Dylan shuffled his feet and
looked at Deb hard. "Tell you what. Vikki prefers to see our special items
go to those who will appreciate them. I think you would. I'll cut the price to
$50, and how about we work out a modified layaway plan so you can take it home
tonight? Consider it a Christmas present from us."
Really? That would be awesome."
smiled and went behind the sales counter. He took down Deb's details and
carefully placed the watch in a cloth lined box, then handed it to her.
"Here you are. Be careful with it. It's completely sealed, and we can't
figure out how to open the mechanism. Also, try and avoid touching it with your
bare skin. It will react to your touch."
like the plating will tarnish?" Debbie asked, taking the box.
like that. Thanks for visiting Amorous Goods, and please drop by again. Have a
smiled broadly at Dylan, waved and walked back to her car. The rain had stopped
and the sky had started to clear. Things were slightly better than they were; a
couple of hours ago! She gasped as she looked at the time. Nearly two hours had
flown by. On one hand, she enjoyed being guided around the store, but on the
other, it was going to make a very late arrival home. She started the car and
headed away from the old mansion. In the rearview mirror she caught a glimpse
of the old building. It appeared to swell slightly, then shrink back. Almost
like it had drawn a deep breath and slowly exhaled.
need some sleep,' she thought, shaking her head.
hours later she pulled into her familiar driveway. As expected, her dad's car
wasn't there. Dipshit's Silverado truck wasn't there either. Debbie figured
he'd gone out partying again with his college buddies or his cheerleading
girlfriend. A lone light was on in the lounge. She hoped Jane was just being
nice and left it on after going to bed, but a flicker of light from the TV put
paid to that hope. Sighing, she grabbed her bag off the back seat and walked
Jane, how are you?" she said in a monotone to the pneumatic blonde lying
on the couch. Deb grudgingly had to admit, her stepmom looked pretty good for
her age. There was enough of her dad's money going into gym classes and other
"therapy" to hold her looks to the early-40's. Debbie didn't like it,
but she really couldn't say anything. Just go with the flow, like she always
Deborah. Good to see you safe. I was starting to get worried," Jane
replied, not taking her eyes off the TV. Deb gritted her teeth at being called
'Deborah'. Nobody had called her that unless she was in trouble, and Janey knew it. It was one of the small passive aggressive
things the two assholes did to annoy her.
the rain was coming down pretty hard out east so I stopped for a while to let
it blow over. I'm pretty tired, so I'll see you in the morning."
Deborah. I'll be at Pilates at six, but you know where everything is. Johnny's
out with Cindy. He may be back tonight." Janey
turned to look at Deb for the first time that night. "How's your college
cheering team? Are you doing okay?"
fine. We came second in the Regionals," Deb replied.
nice. Good night." said Janey and turned back to
watch 'The Real Housewives of Debbie Didn't Give a Shit Where.'
needle. She had enjoyed gymnastics and cheering as a young girl, but then her
body conspired against that. By the time she was into puberty, it was obvious
her body was going to be shaped like a brick. She was still reasonably athletic
and was selected to be on the base of her High School cheer squad because of
her strength. Again, she was average and never saw more trophies than the
Regionals. That carried through to College.
lightly ran up the stairs and into her room. She was happy to see nothing had
changed. The thought had gone through her mind that her stuff would have been
tossed out and the room used for another area for John to infect.
fuck. Why is everything so shit?" she asked no one, tossing her bag onto
the bed and sitting down. Sighing, she closed her eyes and fell back. Deb was
just starting to doze off when a weight landed on her chest and a series of
small needles started pressing into one side, then the other.
smiled and opened her eyes to see a pair of yellow feline ones looking back at
her. "Hello Sebastian," she said to the black cat. "Nice to see
Seb had come with the two J's, but he'd actually taken a
shine to Debbie. Janey thought it strange as Seb usually avoided people he didn't know. Deb scratched
him behind an ear, and the cat started purring loudly in response. "Well,
I knew you'd be happy to see me."
sat up and caught a glimpse of the box her watch had been packed in. She
dropped Seb off her lap and grabbed the box. The cat
looked impassively at her, then started cleaning himself.
shed too much hair on my bed," she laughed and opened the box. Looking
closely at the face, she noticed that the Samurai appeared to have his hand
deep under one of the Geisha's kimono, but the woman didn't have any reaction
on her face. She hadn't noticed that before.
strange drawing. I guess it fits with the story though. Nice touch," she
said to the cat, who ignored her. She tipped the watch onto her palm and
closely examined the case. Dylan was right. It looked completely sealed. She
turned it over and closely examined the script around the face under her
bedside light. It was definitely Japanese, but it was beyond her basic
knowledge of the language.
let's see if it works. Guess I wind it up with the crown." Seb looked at her, then started chewing on his front paw.
Deb laughed as she wound the watch. She could feel the mechanism click under
her fingers and the small second hand started to sweep around the smaller dial
on the face, a barely audible tick coming from the case. A slight warmth went
through her fingers and disappeared.
that's pretty awesome. Dad will love this. Guess I'd better check the stopwatch
function." Seb had stopped chewing his paw and
had started cleaning himself again. One rear leg was in the air, and his tongue
busy licking the inside. He looked up at Deb, then continued his work.
looked at the two buttons either side of the crown knob. One was probably the
start and the other to stop the timer. She tapped the left button and a large
needle started circling the face. She grinned at the watch, then looked over at
Sebastian. He had stopped cleaning himself, his leg high in the air and tongue
"Seb? You okay? Sebastian?" She poked the cat with a
finger, and Seb didn't react. Worried, she looked
closer at him. He looked okay. Moving her face close to his nose she thought
she could feel a shallow breath.
that's a relief. What happened?" She looked at the warm feeling watch in
her hand, and a sense of dread came over her.
That's impossible; Nothing could stop; Fuck. Wow." She pressed the other
button and Seb resumed his ablutions, completely
unaware that he had been frozen in time. Deb tapped the start button again and
Sebastian froze again. She carefully pulled his tail and straightened it out.
She was surprised to see he was still supple. Just to make sure, she pushed his
upper leg down flat and gently tilted his head back. Seb
moved in the direction she pushed with minimal resistance. Deb pushed the other
button and the cat licked the air.
looked around with a confused look and jumped to his feet. He glared at Deb,
flicked his tail in disgust and stalked out of the room.
suppressed a chuckle at the indignant cat who obviously guessed she was to
blame for his air lick. "Sorry Seb, but I need
tapped the stop time button and Seb paused mid-step.
Deb quietly walked to the top of the stairs, bending down to scratch him behind
the ear as she walked by. Looking down, she peered at her stepmom to see if
there was any movement. The TV still was on, but she couldn't tell if Jane was
frozen or just asleep. Finally, Jane coughed and shuffled on the couch.
so there's a limit. More than ten feet, less than fifty. Oh, sorry Seb." Deb tapped the go button and the cat started
is unbelievable. How could this work? Wow. Just. Mmmm. Maybe those movies were
pulled out her laptop and searched for the titles Dylan mentioned. They were
exactly as he had described. They were all fairly short and followed a similar
format. A wobbly handheld camera panned around, then focused on a particular
woman wearing a short skirt. The cameraman followed her until she was alone,
then there was a shot of the watch Deb had bought and a finger hitting the
pause button. The scene cut and changed as if the camera was now mounted on a
hooded man walked up to the now still woman and ran his hand up her leg and
over her butt. He then pushed a hand down her shirt and roughly grabbed her
boobs and slobbered over her mouth. The man bent her over and pushed a finger
under her panties and roughly finger fucked the woman. Finally, he pushed his
pixelated cock into her pussy and rapidly fucked her, pulling out and shooting