Look. This will only take you seven minutes. OK? It was a standard-issue, beat cop .38 magnum. I placed the muzzle beside my temple. I am 35 and have a 29-inch waist. The month is January. It's 3 a.m. I've been drinking. But go back. My mother and I cleaned out my grandfather's house not long after he died. We'd already sold most of the furniture and tools. What remained were the leftovers. Like the five Playboy magazines stacked neatly in the top corner of the bedroom closet.