Proverbs 31:10-31

May 13, 2018

Lord’s Day Worship

Sean Higgins

Download the bulletin.

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The sermon starts at 14:35 in the audio file.

Or, An Oracle from the Queen Mother

It may seem an odd place to start for a message about women on Mother’s Day, but consider Proverbs 22:29.

Do you see a man skillful in his work?

He will stand before kings;

he will not stand before obscure men.

(Proverbs 22:29)

According to this wisdom, we ought to want our skills to be seen by significant people, like the king. People-pleasing has a place, when we make a good product. A desire to be noticed just for self often kills, but a desire to be noticed is great when we serve with skills.

This is not what we’ve been told as Christians, and sure. God resists the proud and exalts the humble. But even with that, what does it mean to be exalted by God? Is He the only one who sees lifted up? Or does it mean that He may lift us up in the eyes of others?

I wonder if C.S. Lewis might not put it like this: God finds our desires to be recognized not to strong but too weak. We want to be praised for showing up rather than making sacrifices and working with diligence to make something great. We want the profit without the investment, the compliments without the commitment. We want the President’s Award for High Self-Esteem.

Proverbs 22:29 reveals that almost anyone can be known by obscure/unknown men. You’ve got to do something skillful to be seen by the significant. It isn’t that your job has to be unique or special. Just be good at it.

I bring all this up because Proverbs 31, including verses 10-31, are not really written for women. They are written about a woman, a certain kind of woman, so that kings will know what to look for. These verses have much to commend to young women so that they will be the kind of “skillful” and “excellent” women that would make a great queen, but this is also wisdom for young men to pray for a woman like this.

The chapter is written by King Lemuel, from a lesson his Queen Mother taught him (“son of my vows”), and edited into the current form by another king, Solomon, who knew a few girls in his time. Lemuel’s mom, a Queen herself, asks the question every mother does of her son at some point: “What are you doing?” (verse 2). She asks it three times, and then she warns about three king-killers: 1) the wrong women (verse 3), 2) drunkenness and partying (verses 4-7), and 3) injustice toward the weak (verses 8-9).

Then she comes back to the right sort of woman for a wife for 22 verses. Though it isn’t said explicitly, if three things can destroy kings (verse 3), then the right woman makes kings and helps shape a nation. This oracle from the Queen Mother tells her son how to find a Queen Mother for his children.

So again, Proverbs 31 is about how to be admired by kings, because it is what kings should be admiring. It has application for every unmarried man and woman, as well as for every father or mother who hopes to raise wise and skillful men and women.

I’ve heard that some people believe Proverbs 31 is like a collage—a glued together image from many different images—rather than one character, a sticking together of characteristics of different ladies instead of describing one lady. Otherwise it must be an exaggeration, an impossible, unattainable standard.

I believe it is one woman, and I believe that because there is one wife and one husband throughout the whole story. This isn’t “Lady Wisdom,” wisdom personified (as in Proverbs 8). This is a lady wisdom embodied, a woman with a husband sitting in the gates of a city.

I also believe that this is a woman that God-fearing women should think of as a realistic pursuit. She is amazing/skillful/excellent, but she is a prototype based on verses 30-31. Be like this and you will be a woman to be praised. Also, be like this and kings will take note. Both are reasons for the passage.

Let’s read, I’ll tell you her [...]