Where does anger come from and what is it trying to tell us?
What does The Quran say about them and where does he place them in our physical form?
What I learned from my work in therapy and working closely with clients, is that when anger shows up it’s always there for a reason. And we usually go to anger when we are uncomfortable or maybe just not ready to deal with sadness or fear.
Anger directs emotions outward, and it also enables us to feel like we are in control in these situations, and we like being in control.
It's normal that most of us hate dealing with uncomfortable emotions such as sadness, anxiety, and fear, so we tent to avoid. One of the ways we avoid them is by anger. Anger is useful and even a healthy emotion when understood how to use it, how much of it to use, when, where and with whom but most importantly to understand why it is there.
Anger always has a reason for showing up and is an indication that there is a deeper issue. Maybe a value that has been threatened. Anger is a call to action. We must understand why it's there, what it's trying to tell us and what emotions are hiding behind it.
The reason I say sadness or fear, is because usually when we feel like:
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1 ⇨ we lost something (in the past = sadness)
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or we feel like:
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2 ⇨ something bad might happen in the future (future = fear)
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And we aren’t yet ready to deal with it we choose anger because it makes us feel in control.
Personally, I haven't decided if there is a third reason (غيره على دين الله anger when someone Goes against God's religion) but for today we will talk about the first two reasons.
I want to share with you two different ways Allah uses very similar ayas.. one dealing with fear and the other anger...
1-
ثُمَّ أَنْزَلَ اللَّهُ سَكِينَتَهُ عَلَى رَسُولِهِ وَعَلَى الْمُؤْمِنِينَ
He sent tranquility and peace onto their hearts of the believers
It's felt on the heart.. on our skin.. fear of the future..
In this situation, the prophet and companions were feeling fear and needed tranquility on their hearts.
2-
هُوَ الَّذِي أَنْزَلَ السَّكِينَةَ فِي قُلُوبِ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ لِيَزْدَادُوا إِيمَانًا مَعَ إِيمَانِهِمْ
He sent it into the hearts of the believers. In this situation, the companions were feeling anger and needed tranquility in their hearts.
Coz anger is placed inside of the hearts.
Here is a little tip: The next time you, or someone you know, is experiencing anger asking questions like "what are you afraid of?" or "are you sad?", when asked genuinely with a safe space to explore the underlining emotions, might help you move and the people you love past the anger in it's and deal with the real emotion and need behind it.
More resources:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ab9SFslS9bo
The Quran's Remedy for Sadness by Nouman Ali Khan: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_3zy5EdKR3g
Sound Credits:
A Good Heart
Album: Unconditional
Artist: Marc Enfroy