This is the second vignette that Dr. Nunez shares. In this vignette Dr. Nunez talks about the importance of setting the goals high for your child. However, these goals will not happen overnight. She explains that parents need to break big goals down into smaller steps in order for their child to feel positive and successful about reaching these goals.  

In this episode Dr. Nunez introduces everyone to Jon and his family. She talks about how their first trip to the park was a complete disaster. After six months of hard work and dedication by the entire family, Jon goes to the same park they had the disastrous experience with. You will have to listen to see what happens next…

IN THIS EPISODE: 

• This episode is an Annette Vignette where Dr. Nunez and Maylene highlight and talk about a situation of what goes on "Behind the Breakthroughs."
• They share these vignettes in hopes of inspiring other therapists and women.
• This vignette focuses on the transition from school to summer and Dr. Nunez talks about working on skills that are not practiced during the school year such as play and socialization.
• In this vignette Dr. Nunez explains how she was working with a client Jon, his mom, and his sister Betty (real names are not used for confidentiality reasons)
• When she first started with Jon the goal was playing on playground with his sister.
• The first session on the playground was a disaster. After 20 minutes Jon was a wreck and ran away and Dr. Nunez had to chase him. Jon began was crying because he wanted to go home and sister was crying because she wanted to stay. Mom looked overwhelmed and defeated.
• All Jon's mom wanted was to be able to take her kids to the park and have them play together without leaving upset.
• Nunez was very compassionate with this mom because she could see that she was tired.
• She explains for most children without a disability the playground is easy because kids instinctually know how to play. However, for children on the spectrum the playground can be a scary place because it is so unpredictable.
• Nunez quickly went into problem solving mode and came up with a plan to reach the mom's goal of taking her kids to the park and having them play.
• She came up with three goals to work on for several months.
• The first goal was to go to different parks.
• The second goal was to structure up park time because the kids could not play naturally.
• The third goal was for the mom to realize that it was unrealistic for her to take both kids to the park by herself. She needed help because both her children needed something different and the park was becoming a negative place for all of them.
• Nunez main goal was to make the playground fun so that both kids would have positive experiences at the park.
• This mother took Dr. Nunez's three goals and worked diligently each week to find new parks, bringing new and fun structured games to the park, and doing weekly homework assignments.
• Nunez commended this mom because she put in the work, followed her instructions, and she started to see results.
• Fast forward six months and Jon made Dr. Nunez's heart happy.
• They went to the same park that they first started at and instead of Jon and Betty crying, they played for an entire hour.
• Both kids had a great time playing together and playing with other kids.
• The session ended with Jon climbing up a climbing wall and jumping up and down shouting, "I did it! I did it!" He was intrinsically motivated and happy and so was everyone involved.
• Nunez points out that many of her clients have big grandiose goals for their child and there is nothing wrong with. ALWAYS set the standards high.
• However, refer to the quote… you have to break things down in little steps in order to get to that big grandiose goal.
• Goals do not happen overnight.
• Many clients will work on something for two weeks and ask Dr. Nunez, "Why isn't my kid doing XYZ?"
• Her answer is… it takes time, dedication, and hard work.
• Remember it took Jon six months to go to a park and play with his sister. Six months of weekly practice, and dedication from his mother.
• Jon's mom took the time to research parks, brought in games, snacks and was consistent.
• The point of this vignette is that big goals take time and parents need to follow through, do homework, and be consistent.
• Parents need to become their child's own expert.
• But most importantly parents need to have fun when teaching their child new skills.

MINDSHIFTS (takeaways)

1. Pick a summer time goal (i.e. playing a game, having a conversation, or something simple like passing out paper) and figure out how to break it down into little steps. Teach each little step to your child…step-by-step in order to reach the bigger goal.
2. In order to make your child feel successful and experience positive feelings towards their goal, motivate them with external motivators such as snacks, electronics, and physical play. Provided these motivators to them when they successfully complete a task.
3. When children have positive experiences learning and reaching their goals, the external motivators will become intrinsic motivating. Children will start feeling proud of themselves and that turns into intrinsic motivation.