🚀 Welcome back to Tech News of the Week, where Chris and I break down the biggest, weirdest, and occasionally most questionable tech stories from the past week.

🧪 **D-Wave’s Dubious Quantum Supremacy Claim** 
D-Wave is back at it again, this time claiming "quantum supremacy" (insert dramatic echo here). They say their quantum chip solved a complex magnetic field simulation in 20 minutes—something they claim would take a classical supercomputer 200 years. But some researchers aren't buying it. Teams at NYU and EPFL Switzerland have already shown that a laptop or a few GPUs can solve parts of the problem much faster than D-Wave suggests. So, is this true supremacy or just more quantum marketing hype? 🤔 https://siliconangle.com/2025/03/12/d-wave-claims-achieved-quantum-supremacy-last-others-disagree/

🐧 **SUSE Wants to Support Red Hat (Yes, Really)** 
In a move that has everyone doing a double take, SUSE announced at SUSECon that they’re launching the "SUSE Multi My Linux" support program—meaning they’ll support older Red Hat Enterprise Linux (RHEL) systems, even after Red Hat stops maintaining them. It's a bold strategy, Cotton. The program covers proactive and reactive support for different Linux versions, and, oh yeah, SUSE Enterprise Linux 16 is dropping soon with support through *2047*. Optimistic much? 🌍 https://thenewstack.io/suse-displays-enhanced-enterprise-linux-at-susecon/

🚗 **Hacking Infotainment Systems: A New Cybersecurity Nightmare** 
If your car has a Pioneer DMH infotainment system, you might want to pay attention. Researchers at NCC Group exploited multiple zero-day vulnerabilities to inject spyware, track locations, and gain access to system data—all through a flaw in the Gracenote music database. While the proof-of-concept required physical access, they say it could be adapted for remote attacks. Pioneer has issued patches, so update your system… or just rip it out and go back to that 5-disc CD changer. 🎶 https://www.darkreading.com/vulnerabilities-threats/car-exploit-spy-drivers-real-time

🍏 **Apple Delays AI-Powered Siri Updates—Blames Marketing** 
Apple’s much-hyped "Apple Intelligence" features for Siri have been shelved, possibly for up to a year, after internal testing revealed they don’t actually work. Success rates hovered between 66–80%, which is, uh, *not great*. Apple’s decision to pull back has led to some well-deserved mockery, but let’s be real—shipping half-baked AI features would’ve been way worse. Still waiting on that flying car, though. 🚁 https://9to5mac.com/2025/03/14/siri-delays-hurt-but-apple-averted-disaster-by-not-shipping-half-baked-product/