Approvals are supposed to be a safety valve: a named person saying yes or no. Instead they become a bureaucratic relay race where documents travel across committees, emails pile up, and every 'approved' file returns with new edits. In this ten‑minute monologue Dr Disruptor performs a forensic audit of the approval ritual: what a real approval promises (decision criteria, single owner, timeline) versus what it often functions as (deferred responsibility, hidden reviewers, and scope creep). The Survivor supplies humane, immediately usable tactics: three diagnostic signals that an approval process is theater, a triage flow to convert any request into a decision‑ready package (Owner+Criteria, Minimize Gate, or Escalate with Rationale), and three paste‑ready templates (request, follow‑up, and escalation) tuned for compliance‑sensitive contexts. Episode closes with a two‑week 'Approval Reality' pilot to shrink latency, a short checklist to paste into requests, and a CTA to visit the show site to download the 'Approval Playbook' one‑pager with templates and a manager‑facing framing line. May your coffee be stronger than your mission statement.