Most of us have expectations of ourselves as well as of others. When such expectation is not satisfied, we are disappointed, making life more difficult. Also, the damaging effect of the word should is considerably more significant than it appears. On the other hand, that is why it is said that disappointment is an outcome of unrealistic expectations. Being constrained by the word should is almost certainly followed by annoyance, embarrassment, agitation, anxiety, and a sense of failure. 

Should – "Should" robs our total capacity for discernment because we are too preoccupied with judging. "Should" steals our power for adjustment because we are too distracted with shame. "Should" deprives us of delight because we were too preoccupied with comparing ourselves to some fictitious benchmark.

Start Noticing - Consider how often you use the word "should" on yourself throughout the day. Then, change your focus to how this term makes you feel. Use those emotions as data to effect change. You can teach yourself to pause when you experience such emotions.

Exercise – Take three deep breaths. Three deep breaths are sufficient to silence the internal judgment critic that we all carry and return us to a more relaxed state in which we can perceive the issue more clearly and thus choose a more appropriate reaction.

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