M.E.S.H.

Are You A Couple Living with ADHD?


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In this insightful episode of M.E.S.H., host Pamela Brewer welcomes Carolyn Angelo, LCSW and Director of the Adult ADHD Center of Washington, D.C. Together, they demystify adult ADHD—exploring what it really is, how it impacts both individuals and couples, and the often misunderstood dynamics that arise. Drawing on her professional expertise and personal experience with ADHD, Carolyn Angelo dives into stigma, shame, strategies for better communication, and how hope and healing are absolutely possible for couples affected by ADHD.

Topics Covered

  • Understanding Adult ADHD: What it is (And Isn’t!)
  • How ADHD can manifest in couples and relationships
  • Tools and strategies for couples to thrive
  • Communication techniques: weekly “business meetings” and date nights

Key Takeaways

  • Adult ADHD is real.
  • ADHD may manifest as both distractibility and hyperfocus, complicating casual assumptions.
  • Couples facing ADHD can fall into “parent-child” dynamics, leading to frustration and exhaustion.
  • Shame and blame cycles are common but can be broken with understanding and intervention.
  • Both partners need to participate in change, not just the one with ADHD.
  • Helpful strategies include structured check-ins, open communication, and rekindling the strengths that attracted the couple in the first place.
  • There is hope: with support, couples can rebuild understanding, connection, and resilience.

Top Quotes
“ADHD is not a deficit, but a deregulation in focus.” —Carolyn Angelo
“Because some ADHD symptoms are not unique to ADHD... the non ADHD member of the couple can make judgments and assumptions that can challenge the couple connection.
“Shame can be big problem for people with ADHD, especially if it hasn’t been diagnosed early.” —Carolyn Angelo
“Convincing the non ADHDer that they need to participate in change is really the first step.” Carolyn Angelo


Connect with the Guest

  • Website: adultadhdcenterdc.com

Resources List

  • Adult ADHD Center of Washington, D.C.: https://adultadhdcenterdc.com
  • Couples Workshops and Coaching: Details found on the center’s website

Top 10 Hashtags
#ADHD
#AdultADHD#ADHDInRelationships
#ADHDamongcouples
#ADHDcoaching
#MentalHealth
#CouplesTherapy
#Neurodiversity
#ShameAndBlame
#MESHpodcast

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M.E.S.H.By Dr. Pamela Brewer