Hello Empowered Wayers :-)

As the summer rolls to a close and kids return to school, the rhythm of life changes. Instead of lazy days and fun, we’re back to scheduling and juggling the myriad of details that are part of being parents.

My intent isn’t to share a new productive process or system to streamline your mornings. You already have a way to handle the chaos and still be available for your children.

My goal today is to remind you that you can only give what you have received.

Self-care is Essential

Women are conditioned to put others before themselves. I know from an early age, I was trained to be the helper, the generous one who gave to others. These are wonderful traits, but they become suffocating if you have nothing to give.

My journey of self-care is too long to share. What I settled on was daily meditation, mindfulness, and journaling. When I fall out of my practice, I become scattered and anxious. I forget that I am not my worries and my monkey mind and ego control.

It’s not a pretty sight or a great way to live.

When I become ego-centrenic, it damages my relationships. I only see a small slice of reality and forget that there is a larger perspective of knowing. My energy shrinks and I am not a pleasant person. My parenting skills decrease and I don’t listen well.

After I began meditating daily, my worries receded and I listened to my intuition. I set daily intentions that usually worked out, and my family was much happier.

If you have never meditated before, perhaps it is time to begin. I created a 21-Day Meditation Challenge that helps you create and solidify the habit of meditating daily. The meditations are available to you immediately after purchase. When you download the Gumroad app, you can access the next day’s meditation. Most of them are short but they build on each other. You will also receive daily emails that also contain the link to that day’s meditation, as well as specific journal prompts to help you dive deeper.

All me to share a story of what being present as a parent looks like.

Shift the Focus

When my daughter was in middle school, she was involved in cheer leading, soccer, and drama. She eventually had to choose between three activities she loved, because the coaches and teacher were upset when she had a conflict.

She is the perennial people-pleaser, so having to choose between these activities upset her deeply. She knew something had to change but she didn’t want to disappoint. It was the classic dilemma of looking outside for answers.

As a mindfulness advocate and meditation teacher, I gathered her in a quiet space and asked her to write down everything that was in her mind. As she began writing, her hand gripped the pen harder and her words flew onto the page. When she was finished, I had her place her hands on the paper, close her eyes, and breathe.

When I felt she was no longer agitated, I began gently asking questions.

“Now that all of your mind chatter is on the page, can you feel yourself calming?”

She nodded.

“Remember, it’s all there on the paper. For now, I want you to connect to your inner world, the place where you are safe.”

She smiled.

“What does your heart enjoy experiencing?”

A frown came over her face and then she smiled. “Soccer.”

“Great! Hold onto that feeling. Imagine yourself playing soccer and scoring the winning goal. Does that make your heart dance?”

She laughed and opened her eyes, the light of love shining bright. “Thanks, Mom. I know what I need to do.” We hugged and she returned to her life with the certainty of her heart conversation.

The Takeaway

When you are not present with your children, it impacts the energy of the family. Mothers set the emotional tone and if you as a mother are agitated and stressed, you show up differently than if you are calm, centered, and present.

Elevate yourself and you will elevate the energy of your relationships.

Remember, you are so much more than your stress. Taking 10 minutes a day to discover that truth is transformative, inspiring, and uplifting.

To your prosperity,

Kathryn

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit empoweredway.substack.com/subscribe