WINNING WITH THE WORD

“Winning with the Word” is a weekly blog that will help you to be a winner in life by applying God’s principles for living the abundant life as found in the Bible, God’s manual for life.

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Hello and Happy Day! This is Dr. MaryAnn Diorio, novelist and life coach, welcoming you to another episode of Winning with the Word. Today is Monday, April 10, 2023, and this is Episode #15 of Series 2023. This episode is titled "Are You Suffering from a Father Wound?"

What is a father wound? 

According to Focus on the Family's Alfred C.W. Davis, the father wound is "the absence of love from one's birth father." * Father wounds stem from many causes, but bottomline, a father wound results from one's earthly father's not meeting one's physical, emotional, psychological, or spiritual needs. This failure to meet a child's needs can result from abuse, absence, domination, or death. It can also result from the withholding of love for whatever reason. Regardless of the cause, the pain of the wound is the same—deep and lingering.

The most common effect of a father wound is lack of self-worth, usually resulting in performance syndrome. The child comes to believe that he has to perform in order to be loved. And so begins the vicious cycle of doing, instead of being, the vicious cycle that ends up destroying the child and his future relationships, even into adulthood.

Some symptoms of the father wound are the following:

__Feelings of unworthiness. "I'm not good enough."

__Feelings of being stupid. "I'll never get this."

__Feelings of inadequacy and incompetence. "I'm a loser."

__Feelings of being unloved or unlovable. "Who would want to love me?"

Those suffering from father wounds usually experience constant, underlying inner pain and are often unaware of the cause. It is only by the power of the Holy Spirit that our souls can be healed and restored.

You see, when we are born again, it is our spirits that are made perfect. This is called justification. We are instantaneously justified before God by the Blood of Christ. Our souls, however --our mind, will, and emotions--are still wounded and scarred and need to be healed. This healing process, which can take a lifetime, is what the Bible calls sanctification--that is, becoming holy.

So, once we have been born again--that is, once we have accepted Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord—He can begin healing the father wound. The healing of the father wound comes under the heading of sanctification. This means that, little by little, the Holy Spirit restores our wounded souls. He reveals lies we have believed about our fathers. He gives us understanding of the reasons our fathers acted the way they did. He does not condone our fathers' actions. Rather, He helps us to understand them so that we can more readily forgive our fathers.

Father wounds often involve lies from the devil. For example, a father wound can cause us to believe we are worthless and good for nothing. But, when we read the Word of God, we discover the truth about ourselves. We discover who we truly are in Christ—that we are enough because God says we are. We are not stupid, because we have the mind of Christ.