How do you get more referrals, without ever awkwardly asking for them? In episode 8 of the Fear Forward CEO Podcast, Tonya Gossage breaks down the REFER system, the exact relationship framework she teaches in her Power Connectors community.

Drawing on 34 years in banking, 15 acquisitions, and thousands of client relationships, Tonya walks through all five letters — Relationships, Excellence, Follow-through, Empathy, and Referrals. Plus her LORD tool for getting to know people fast. The big idea: referrals aren't a hack you buy, they're the natural result of everything you do before them.

⏱ Timestamps

0:00 - Are you worth talking about when you're not in the room?

0:40 - What the REFER system is (and where it came from)

1:30 - 34 years, 15 acquisitions, and hard hiring decisions

2:30 - R — Relationships: know, like, trust… and refer

5:30 - The LORD tool (Location, Occupation, Recreation, Dreams)

8:30 - E — Excellence: be worth talking about

11:30 - Why excellence lives in the experience, not just the delivery

12:30 - F — Follow-through: the behavior that builds careers

17:00 - E — Empathy: listen to understand, not to respond

22:00 - The final R — Referrals are earned, never hacked

25:30 - Your challenge: score yourself 1–10 on each letter

27:00 - What's coming next + fear forward

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🔗 CONNECT WITH TONYA

Gossage Consulting → https://gossageconsulting.com/

The Power Connectors community → https://thepowerconnectors.org

The Relationship Revenue Letter (newsletter) → Subscribe on LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/build-relati...

LinkedIn → https://www.linkedin.com/company/powerconnectors/

Facebook → https://www.facebook.com/PowerConnectors/

Instagram → @thepowerconnectorshg

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🎙️ LISTEN ON YOUR FAVORITE PLATFORM

Apple Podcasts → https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/influence-and-growth-mastery-podcast/id1610782600

Spotify → https://open.spotify.com/show/1CenwZ0C9aPONDsC3hTogz

Libsyn → https://sites.libsyn.com/400490

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If one letter of REFER hit home, comment which one you're working on, and follow the show so you don't miss the referrals interview coming up.

#referrals #businessgrowth