Raven Smith is a British Vogue columnist, an Instagram personality and the author of the essay collection, Trivial Pursuits. I have long admired Raven's ability to move between the trivial and the weighty, with ease: writing about IKEA meatballs one minute, and his inability to live up to his father's idea of a black man, the next. We discuss arrival fallacy, being in 'the waiting room of parenthood' and why the little things - the trimmings of modern life - make us who we are.
How Do We Know We're Doing It Right is out now in both hardback and audiobook, narrated by Pandora.

Arrival fallacy, with Raven Smith

A weekly interview series created and hosted by Pandora Sykes, about the myths, anxieties and trends of modern life - from sex to sadness to self-care. (Spoiler: there‘s no such thing as the ‘right‘ life.)

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Welcome to the last episode of Series 3! I really hope you have enjoyed the series and it’s given you some pause for thoughts. Don’t forget to rate and review the show on iTunes to help other people find me.
 
Priya Parker is a conflict resolution strategist, based in the States and the author of a 2018 book, The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters. I’ve wanted to speak to her since I read her book in 2019 , because so many of us - myself included! - struggle to maintain our social lives. What to say yes to, what to say no to, what to seek out and what to avoid. 
 
Priya talks about gatherings big and small in a way that she calls “small p political” - because it is deeply political, she says, to decide what we celebrate, elevate and value through who, why and when we come together. I think Priya offers a really unique perspective on what gathering actually means. I hope you enjoy it - and thanks for joining me, for series 3!
 
How should we meet? And who decides? by Priya Parker for The New York Times
 
The Art of Gathering by Priya Parker 
 
When do we actually need to meet in person? By Rae Ringel for The Harvard Business Review 
 
Hosted & Exec Produced by Pandora Sykes
Production by Joel Grove

How to have a more meaningful social life, with Priya Parker

Can the way you think about your body, change the way it works? Can a positive outcome about ageing, actually cause you to live longer?
 
I’ve been curious about the mind-body axis for a while, and then I read The Expectation Effect by the award-winning science journalist and author, David Robson about how our expectations can shape our experience - and I was fascinated.
 
Using dozens of jaw-dropping studies throughout history, David explores how thinking a certain way about something, can change the way your body responds. Now, you cannot think yourself fitter, happier, richer. This is not The Secret. But you can also harness the power of your brain’s predictive machine, to live a healthier, longer, life.
 
David and I discuss the power of ‘reframing’, the effect of placebos and nocebos and the incredible impact of self-affirmation in young people,  and how it can shape their entire future. I hope this episode gives you some tools to take away.
 
The Expectation Effect by David Robson is out now
 
Hosted & Exec Produced by Pandora Sykes
Production by Joel Grove

The expectation effect, with David Robson

Did you find yourself scrambling for words, losing your keys, forgetting basically everything, when you had a baby? Perhaps you witnessed it in your best friend, your sibling, your partner. The jokes about how women are lobotomised by motherhood are damaging and misogynistic - the term ‘baby brain’ used to keep women in their place - but how was i to reconcile that knowledge with a brain that felt like it had turned to cheese?
 
Which is why I was so excited to speak to science writer, Chelsea Conaboy. With her new book, Mother Brain - and a searing recent New york times op-ed “Why maternal instinct was a myth created by men” - Chelsea uses science to myth bust so many idea we have around biology, birth and the brain.
 
We discuss why the idea of “maternal instinct” is unhelpful to new mothers AND fathers, why “the golden hour” is not the only chance you have to bond with your baby, why oxytocin aka “the love hormone” is not just released by birth and breast-feeding and - this is a big one - why the fact that a birthing parent’s brain shrinks after birth is not a negative thing, but a sharpening of the synapses -- AND it happens in male primary carers, too. Chelsea doesn’t deny that the brain changes through giving birth. But the physiological changes are not relegated to the biological parent, she argues: they exist in every primary carer.
 
I found Chelsea’s research as fascinating as I did reassuring - and I really hope this episode helps any new parents, or anyone supporting new parents - and may help guide us towards a more equitable vision of what parenthood looks like. 
 
https://www.nytimes.com/2022/08/26/opinion/sunday/maternal-instinct-myth.htmlBuy Chelsea’s new book, Mother Brain, here: https://www.hive.co.uk/Product/Chelsea-Conaboy/Mother-Brain--Separating-Myth-from-Biology---the-Science-/26445858

The myth of the ‘baby brain’ with Chelsea Conaboy

Tired all the time? Worried you’re not getting the fabled ‘8 hours’ ? You’re not alone: we’ve become a nation of orthosomniacs. But panic not, because sleep scientist Russell Foster is here to help. 
 
The University of Oxford neuroscientist and the author of a new book, Life Time, is a world leading expert on circadian rhythms, also known as: the body clock. And guess what? The whole 8 hours a night is…. A myth.
 
We discuss the difference between sleepiness and fatigue; why broken sleep is not a bad thing but a natural occurrence; and why we are facing a public health crisis when it comes to looking after our night-shift workers. We also discuss what works and what doesn’t work: such as sleep tracking apps, sleeping pills, CBD drops and more - and why trying to become an early bird, when you’re a night owl is so damn hard. (Blame your parents.) 
 
Life Time: The New Science of the Body Clock, and How It Can Revolutionize Your Sleep and Health by Russell Foster
Get 20% off OTO sleep drops with the code pandora20 
 
Hosted & Exec Produced by Pandora Sykes
Production by Joel Grove

What we get wrong about sleep, with Russell Foster

I’ve been wanting to do an episode on the many myths of fast fashion since I wrote an essay titled Get The Look, for my 2020 essay collection (which this podcast series first spun off from). And Venetia La Manna, a presenter and podcaster campaigning against fast fashion and advocating for more mindful consumption, is the ideal guest to explore this issue with. She regularly organises protests against fast fashion brands and her Instagram account is a vital trove of statistics about what really lies behind that “sustainable” clothing tag.
Venetia and I discuss overproduction, why luxury is as bad as the high street at underpaying their workers, the stigma of second hand (and how we can make it more inclusive) and why this isn’t an individual issue, but a corporate one. We also discuss the role of social media and influencer culture in maintaining fast fashion’s stronghold. 
Resources: @theorispresentLauren Bravo on Sentimental Garbage
Second hand & clothes swaps:VintedThreadUpNuw DepopeBayImparfaite ParisVestiaireRococo Paris The Real Real
 
Get 20% off OTO sleep drops with the code pandora20 
 
Hosted & Exec Produced by Pandora Sykes
Production by Joel Grove

Arrival fallacy, with Raven Smith

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