In this episode, emotions were flying everywhere — and not just from Tottenham defenders. One of us genuinely fell in love again after Eze’s North London Derby hat-trick, describing the performance with romantic butterflies like he’d just met his crush again. Arsenal didn’t just win — they performed poetry. Spurs tried the pragmatic five-at-the-back experiment and ended up pinned so deep they were practically underground. We also touched on Manchester United’s weekly lows, Chelsea discourse, Timber propaganda, Declan Rice’s villain arc, tactical rabbit holes, and why Arsenal make even rival players admit “this is the hardest team we face.” It’s football, therapy, romance, and shameless Arsenal joy — all in one chaotic Five Aside episode.