Sexual Dysfunction and Marriage: My Journey For some of us, there is no amount of self-love or body-positive work that will inspire passion and sexual tension in our partners. For many of us, our partners simply don’t find touching our bodies desirable and aren’t capable of manufacturing that sensation. It’s not about us, though it unquestionably has a huge impact on us. Dressing provocatively, engaging in self-affirmations, living loud and proud, knowing we are sexual and desirable beings – sometimes those things don’t change the fact that our partners simply can’t generate sexual interest, desire, or physical companionship. Knowing that can be incredibly hard on self-esteem and on a whole host of relationships – including relationships with our partner and with the people who give advice but who don’t fully understand the realities of living with and loving a person with intimacy issues. Good relationships, no matter how well partnered people are, have challenges. For some, it’s about fidelity; for others, it’s about money or children. For some of us, it’s about two people who genuinely want to have intimacy, but one partner simply can’t. For both people, that fact can create heartbreak and a sense of failure, which can lead to isolation, anger, and crisis. For me, it’s been a decade of learning – learning how to cope, how to find compassion within myself, how to build a new framework for self-acceptance and change the paradigm of what a successful marriage looks like. I married someone who was a good match for my appetites but, because of medical emergencies and life-saving medicines, my husband lost that part of himself. I’m not talking about dysfunction alone; I’m speaking of the loss of intimacy and desire. I’m not sharing a struggle that can be overcome. I’m trying to put it out there that some aspects of life and love aren’t fixable – and that, for me, leaving or divorce is nowhere near the answer. In my situation, my marriage is good and strong, and the thebodyisnotanapology.com