Relationship Control Issues: Most Common Controlling Behaviors.

Co-dependent Controllers

In addition to the overtly controlling behaviors, there is a whole host of other behaviors that are harder to spot. These are carried out by the co-dependent controller.

This is the type of person who needs other people to behave or feel a certain way in order to feel okay.

If you are a co-dependent controller, you may be the people-pleasing and care-taking type. Here are the ways control is achieved:

Martyrdom. This is when you do so much for your partner that you create a sense of indebtedness in them. They will never be as good or giving as you.

Re-activity. You react to your partner’s every thought and feeling. If they say something you disagree with, you either believe it or become defensive. You have a stake in what they think, so you try hard to convince them of your point of view.

Care-taking. You put other people ahead of yourself. You need to help, and you feel rejected if your partner doesn’t want your help. Care-taking is another way of controlling the situation.

Guilt-tripping. You feel hurt and make your partner feel guilty. You do this not just sometimes but rather guilt becomes part of the fabric of your relationship. Your partner does things for you to avoid feeling guilty.