The rules for women are different – even in professional settings. Our voices are too soft, or too loud. We take up too much room, or too little. We’re told to lean in, but also, to smile. We are encouraged to be more assertive in the workplace, but when we are, we are deemed to be aggressive, or even worse, rude. These rules impact everyone in a workplace, men and women alike, because when we’re not all bringing 100% of ourselves to the job, the work suffers. So how can women navigate these contradicting messages and make work more manageable? In this episode, we are joined by Rebecca Reid, author of Rude: Stop Being Nice and Start Being Bold. Here, she explains:What "Positive Rudeness" isWhy the name you're called in the workplace is importantHow the way you write can undermine what you writeWays allies can help amplify assertive practices; andHow "Positive Rudeness" and assertiveness in the workplace contribute to a more respectful workplace! If you prefer to read along while you listen, we've done all the hard work for you! We listened back to this episode and took notes below, and access is free! Inspiration For Rude: Stop Being Nice and Start Being BoldOn one of her appearances on Good Morning Britain, Ms. Reid debated whether or not there should be any limits in comedy.Her discussion counterpart believed differently and argued that he had the right to make jokes about whatever he felt the audience would find humorous. Ms. Reid responded saying “if you can’t make jokes without being racist, sexist, or homophobic, then you are not very funny.” This led her counterpart to interrupt her.From there she exclaimed that she would not allow men to talk over her constantly and began “shushing” him, which led to him to stop interrupting her.Following the TV discussion, there was a “short-lived” media cycle in which she was dubbed “Rebecca Rude.” During this time, she experienced a lot of negative media attention from internet “trolling” to even friends “shushing” her thinking the entire situation was funny.The “Rebecca Rude” experience inspired Ms. Reid to write her book.

Positive RudenessIn her book, when Ms. Reid refers to rudeness, she is talking about what she has termed “Positive Rudeness.” This is the rudeness that prioritizes your own wants and needs above those of other people - unless you are actively trying to be kind.For example, if you are standing in line and someone cuts in front of you, it is positive rudeness to say “excuse me, I was ahead of you.” or if being kind, you can let them in front of you because it seems like that person is having a bad day.The worst case scenario in this situation would be to let that person jump ahead of you in line and then quietly be upset about it for the rest of the day. These are the kinds of small situations in which positive rudeness is important.It can be difficult to implement positive rudeness because it goes against all of the social interaction guidelines that have been ingrained in us for so long. We have always been taught to put others’ wants and needs before our own, but that is not always the healthiest option. In a way, positive rudeness is about auditing your generosity so that you are making active choices rather than passively allowing others to step over you.“A Journey To Deprogram Yourself”Many of us are raised to view rudeness as a negative.This is especially true for females who are often seemingly penalized more for perceived rudeness than males. The “gold standard” for girls is good behavior while the “gold standard” for boys is achievement. Growing up, Ms. Reid remembers being taught to be a “good girl” by being quiet, kind, and respectful, to please others, and to put your own needs last. All of those teachings are the root of the “journey to deprogram yourself” that Ms. Reid details in her book.Is Positive Rudeness Gender-Specific?Positive rudeness seems to come more naturally to men,