What comes to mind when you hear that someone is assertive? The typical ideas quickly move to descriptions of behavior: what the assertive person says and does. More specifically, they focus on how he or she acts. But is this assertiveness?

On the surface, it is definitely assertiveness of sorts; but this type of behavior can easily transition into aggressiveness, unpleasantness and abrasiveness. When assertiveness is fundamental, this never happens. For the fundamentally assertive, it’s not about what they say, what they do or how they act. It’s all about who they are and how they are. It’s a matter of style. Please press play and hear for yourself.