Show Opens with discussions on....Dougie & his awesome massage, that didn't even need a happy ending, The Pope speaks out against the "Death Penalty", in Florida, good guy with gun shoots bad guy with gun, a fight breaks out in a nail salon in Brooklyn, & Air Force silent after 2-kiloton meteor hits Earth near base.

In Straight From the Headlines

"Identical twin sisters to marry identical brothers, live happily ever after in same apartment", Ohio judge orders chatty defendant's mouth taped for sentencing", "House destroyed when raising attempt goes wrong", "2 drivers cited for going too slow under Idaho's new law", "Injured Chicago Cubs fan feels 'lucky to be alive', "American Airlines passenger kicked off flight after buying seat for her $30,000 cello", "Arkansas man tried to steal jet to go to concert", & "Man dumped human waste inside 7-Eleven in revenge act, police say"

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