This podcast explains the three core pillars of digital security: Authentication, Authorisation, and Accounting (AAA). Authentication involves verifying a user's identity through methods like passwords, physical tokens, or biometrics, with a focus on the increased security of multi-factor authentication. Following this, Authorisation determines a user's permissions and access levels to specific resources, highlighting different control models such as role-based or attribute-based access. Finally, Accounting tracks and logs all user activities to monitor for security incidents and maintain an audit trail. The article uses an engaging, satirical tone to discuss the challenges and complexities of implementing effective AAA systems, from the frustrations of password policies to the potential of emerging technologies like passkeys and AI.