Being genuinely self-contained is about balance. It is about being given—or having been given—the right level, and the right kind of emotional sustenance from others and, on that basis, being able, like a dolphin that has taken in enough air or a camel that has taken in enough water, to go out on one’s own. This is not what the autistic person is doing. Autism is a way of being damaged. True independence is about the opposite of being damaged. And a sign of true independence is flexibility, and rigidity is a sign of damage-based pseudo-independence.