At 47, I had a revelation in therapy that cracked something wide open.

I realized I am afraid of adults, and that fear traces all the way back to a childhood without safe people. No protected father. No shielding mother. Seven women who knew about the abuse and chose silence.

In this solo episode I share how that wound became a survival strategy that has been quietly sabotaging my calling, my visibility, and my ability to ask for help. I also share three commitments I'm making to step out of hiding and a declaration you can use too.

This one is raw, real, and recorded straight from the revelation. Reassign the shame. It was never yours to carry.

#survivalstrategytrauma #childhoodtrauma #healinginnerchild #healing #fearofadults #traumahealingafterchildhoodabuse #traumaresponse #adulthood #self-sabotage #traumafaithbased #traumahealing #survivorhealingjourney #childhoodbetrayal

Welcome back to Speak 2 Heal through the Awakened 2 Purpose Podcast.

This is Part Two of our conversation with survivor advocate, activist, and social justice clinician Ms. Regina Dyson.

Last week we talked about why survivors stay silent when their abuser holds power. Today we go deeper. A landmark study spanning three decades just confirmed what sexual abuse survivors have been living their entire lives.

The number one reason survivors do not disclose is not fear, it is not threats. It is shame.

And in this episode we are going to call it by its name. We talk about what shame actually feels like in the body, not as a concept but as a lived physical experience.

We talk about how shame is layered across race, culture, gender, and chronic illness. We talk about the moment the shame starts to shift, when you stop carrying what was never yours to carry and give it back to the one it belongs to.

This episode includes one of the most powerful moments in Speak 2 Heal history - Larissa's courtroom testimony, the moment she looked her abuser in the eye and watched him hang his head, and felt the shame leave her body and land exactly where it belonged.

This is also the episode where we address something almost no one talks about openly, what happens when a child's body responds physically during abuse, and why that response does not create shame or culpability.

If you have carried that specific silence your whole life, this episode is for you.

We close with a direct word to the survivor who is still deep in shame right now.

The one who still believes somewhere inside that what happened was their fault. It was not. The shame was never yours. And today we are going to give it back.

This podcast is by survivors for survivors of childhood sexual trauma and chronic illness warriors. We shift mindsets, change the narrative, and create a new norm. We reassign the shame and we journey to free.

Anchored in Revelation 12:11 and Romans 12:2.

CRISIS RESOURCESNational Sexual Assault Hotline - 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) and RAINN.org

Crisis Text Line - text HOME to 741741

National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline - call or text 988Jamaica Child Development Agency Hotline - 1-888-PROTECT (776-8328)

CONNECT WITH US: Website: journey2free.com

Journey 2 Free Publishing: journey2freepublishing.com

**TRIGGER WARNING** Discussions of Child Sexual Abuse. Episodes may contain graphic details. Hi! You didn’t land here by accident; this is divine alignment.Welcome to Journey 2 Free, where survivors heal out loud, shame is reassigned, and we awaken to our God-ordained purposes.What do you do when the person who hurt you is the person everyone else is celebrating?In this episode of Speak 2 Heal, host Larissa and survivor advocate, activist, and social justice clinician Ms. Regina Dyson sit down for a raw and necessary conversation about what happens when survivors are silenced not just by shame or fear, but by the weight of protecting a hero.Using the story of Dolores Huerta and Cesar Chavez as the entry point, we unpack why survivors stay silent when their abuser holds power, leads movements, and is loved by the community. This is not just a headline. This is the lived reality of survivors everywhere who have had to choose between their truth and the reputation of someone the world calls great.We talk about why victims of sexual violence do not tell. We talk about what it costs a woman to come forward when the abuser is untouchable. We talk about the cultural and historical layers that have kept women and children silent for generations. And we speak directly to the survivor who is sitting right now watching someone who hurt them receive a standing ovation.Your silence was never weakness. It was survival.And this is just Part 1. Come back next week because we are going deeper. The research just dropped. Thirty years of studies. One finding. And it is not fear that keeps survivors silent. It is something heavier. Something that lives in the body. We are going to call it by its name. And when we do it is going to set somebody free.This podcast is by survivors for survivors of childhood sexual trauma and chronic illness warriors. We shift mindsets, change the narrative, and create a new norm. We reassign the shame. We journey 2 free.Anchored in Revelation 12:11 and Romans 12:2.CRISIS RESOURCESNational Sexual Assault Hotline - 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) RAINN.orgCrisis Text Line — Text HOME to 741741Jamaica Child Development Agency Hotline - 1-888-PROTECT (776-8328)🦋 Journey with Me:Website: www.journey2free.comPodcast: Awakened 2 PurposeShop: Books & Merch: https://linktr.ee/Journey2FreeConnect: Speaking/Media Inquiries: [email protected]💛 Let’s Connect:Instagram: @journey2freeTikTok: @journey2freeFacebook: facebook.com/journey2freeSubstack: thedefiantdisruptor.substack.comLinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/larissarhone🙏🏾 Want to Support the Mission?CashApp: $Journey2FreeZeffy: [Insert link to donation/sponsorship page]Your giving helps us support survivors, host retreats, and create life-giving content.💙 Subscribe, share, and stay awhile.Your voice matters, your healing matters.Let’s heal forward, together.

You survived the abuse. But now you have to survive the healing.

In this raw, unfiltered conversation, I sit down with intimacy and relationship coach Tammy Bodie to talk about what the manifestations of sexual trauma actually look like in everyday life, in your relationships, your intimacy, your parenting, your mental health, and your body.

We are not talking in theory. We are talking from lived experience as survivors.

This is Part 1 of an ongoing series on the Speak 2 Heal arc of Awaken to Purpose Podcast.

Topics covered: hypervigilance, triggers, dissociation, body shame, prayer vs. doing the work, generational patterns, and beginning the healing journey.

If you or someone you know needs support:National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 | rainn.orgCrisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741Jamaica — CPFSA: 1-888-PROTECT (776-8328)

You are worthy. The healing is possible. Let's talk about it.

I went back to Jamaica to bury my uncle. I thought I was healed. I thought I was further along. And then I closed a bathroom door and fell completely apart.In this raw, unscripted episode of the Awaken 2 Purpose Podcast, I sit down with my co-host, activist, clinician, and survivor Ms. Regina Dyson, for one of the most honest conversations we've ever had about what healing actually looks like in real life. Not on a stage. Not in a highlight reel. In a bathroom in Jamaica, at a family funeral, surrounded by people who still believe we must have liked it.This episode is for every survivor who thought they were "over it" and got blindsided by a trigger they didn't see coming. It's for the one who wonders if they're going backwards. It's for the one who has done the therapy, done the work, done the praying, and still found themselves on the floor.Here's what we cover in this episode:Why triggers don't disappear, they just take up less space over time, and what that actually looks like after decades of healing work. The truth about therapy, Ms. Regina has been in therapy for nearly 50 years and is still doing the work at 72. There is no finish line. How trauma lives in the body, why your shoulders, your nervous system, and your hyper-vigilance are not personal failings but survival responses. What EMDR did for Larissa's body and why Jamaica sent her shoulders right back up. Why setting boundaries with family is not unforgiveness, it is wisdom. How the father wound shapes the way survivors seek love, accept mistreatment, and go silent in intimate relationships. Why attachment to things is often a trauma response, and what it means when people leave but your stuff stays. The moment Larissa brought her firstborn son home and realized her trauma had followed her into motherhood. Why survivors statistically don't live as long, and what we owe ourselves by choosing to heal with intention. A call to every person still suffering in silence: you have to get it up and out of your body.This is not a polished performance. This is two survivors, one in her 40s, one in her 70s, sitting on a couch, telling the truth, and refusing to let shame have the last word.Healing is not linear, it is not a destination, and you are not broken because something still hurts.Reassign the shame.If this episode spoke to you, share it with someone who needs to hear it. Leave a comment below and tell us, what trigger caught you off guard on your healing journey?Subscribe to Awaken 2 Purpose Podcast on YouTube, Spotify, and all major podcast platforms.New episodes every week.RESOURCES & SUPPORTIf you or someone you know is processing trauma or in need of mental health support:RAINN National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 | rainn.orgCrisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI): 1-800-950-6264 | nami.orgJamaica: Victim Support Unit — 1-888-VICTIM (842-8466)💛 Let’s Connect:Instagram: @journey2freeTikTok: @journey2freeFacebook: facebook.com/journey2freeSubstack: thedefiantdisruptor.substack.comLinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/larissarhone🙏🏾 Want to Support the Mission?CashApp: $Journey2Free Zeffy: - https://www.zeffy.com/en-US/donation-form/give-the-gift-of-healing-help-a-child-survivor-thrive to donation/sponsorship pageYour giving helps us support survivors, host retreats, and create life-giving content.💙 Subscribe, share, and stay awhile.Your voice matters, your healing matters.Let’s heal forward, together.**DISCLAIMER: Episodes may contain graphic details. ***Please be advised - Maybe triggering to trauma survivors ~ If triggered, please call your local sexual assault hotline.***

Have you ever thought you were okay, until something brought it all rushing back?In this very first solo episode, I'm sharing something raw, unfiltered, and still very fresh. I recently returned from Jamaica after attending two funerals, and walking back into the childhood homes where I was sexually abused as a child triggered something I wasn't prepared for.I've been in therapy. I've testified in court. I've spoken publicly. I've done the work. And my body still responded.This is an honest, unscripted conversation about what trigger work actually looks like in real time, and why healing is not a destination. It's a practice.In this episode:✔️ What happened when I walked back into my childhood homes✔️ How my body responded before my mind could catch up✔️ The psychiatrist session I walked into for someone else — and what I walked out carrying✔️ The question about trust and relationships I wasn't ready to answer✔️ Why triggers never fully stop — and why that's okay✔️ Practical tools to process triggers in real time✔️ Grief, loss, and healing while livingYou are not broken. You have not gone backwards. You've just met the next layer. Read the blog: https://journey2free.com/2026/04/01/i-thought-i-was-okay-until-i-went-back-home-healing-isnt-a-straight-line/🔔 Subscribe so you never miss an episode of The Awakened 2 Purpose Podcast

#TriggersAndHealing #CSASurvivor #HealingJourney #TraumaRecovery #SexualAbuseSurvivor #HealingIsNotLinear #PTSDRecovery #FaithAndHealing #2SurvivorsOneFamilySecret #DoTriggersEverEnd #ChildSexualAbuseAwareness #SurvivorVoice #MentalHealthAwareness

What happens when the people who were supposed to protect you tell you to forgive and forget? In this raw, faith-rooted conversation, host Larissa sits down with survivor advocate Regina Dyton and co-host Candy to unpack what nobody tells you about healing after childhood sexual abuse, the grief you never knew had a name, the forgiveness you were forced to perform, and the shame that silence left behind.This episode covers: grief after trauma, unprocessed grief in the body, faith as escape vs. real relationship with God, the breaking point that starts the healing journey, the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation, and why forgiving yourself has to come first.Anchored in Revelation 12:11 - We overcome by the blood of the lamb and by the word of our testimony.Awaken to Purpose Podcast | Speak 2 HealFor survivors. For the ones still hiding. For the ones ready to reassign the shame.Resources: If anything in this episode brought something up for you, please reach out for support. US: RAINN 1-800-656-4673 | Jamaica: CISOCA, Child Development Agency, Office of the Children's Registry🦋 Journey with Me:Website: www.journey2free.comPodcast: Awakened 2 PurposeShop: Books & Merch: https://linktr.ee/Journey2FreeConnect: Speaking/Media Inquiries: [email protected]💛 Let’s Connect:Instagram: @journey2freeTikTok: @journey2freeFacebook: facebook.com/journey2freeSubstack: thedefiantdisruptor.substack.comLinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/larissarhoneWant ti support the mission - CashApp: $Journey2FreeYour giving helps us support survivors, host retreats, and create life-giving content.💙 Subscribe, share, and stay awhile.Your voice matters, your healing matters.Let’s heal forward, together.**DISCLAIMER: Episodes may contain graphic details. ***Please be advised - Maybe triggering to trauma survivors ~ If triggered, please call your local sexual assault hotline.***

What happens when the church teaches you how to worship but never teaches you how to heal?In this raw, unfiltered conversation, Larissa sits down with her sister-friend and fellow survivor Tammy Bodie, host of Sex Ed for Saints Podcast, for a testimony that will break you open and put you back together in the same breath.Tammy shares what it was like to be abused by multiple people across multiple spaces starting at age 8, and how moving between countries without her parents made her an easy target. She takes us inside the moment she picked up a phone at 8 years old just to hear her mother's voice, the betrayal that shattered her last sense of safety, and the grandmother whose words shut her down when she finally reached out.But this episode isn't just about what happened to Tammy. It's about what she did with it.From showing up to a choir audition in club clothes, to crying out at an altar "God, if you are real, touch me", to the hard truth she discovered inside her marriage: praying doesn't make the abuse go away. The work still has to happen.This one is for the survivor who's been serving faithfully but hasn't started healing honestly. It's for the one who's been performing for God but hiding from the pain. It's for the one who still doesn't know that what happened to them wasn't their fault.Reassign the shame. It was never yours to carry. Connect with Tammy: Sex Ed for Saints Podcast on YouTube Look out for her book: Hey God, Can I…Anchored in Revelation 12:11 | Romans 12:2 | Genesis 50:20

Some conversations are too heavy to carry alone, so we carry them together.

In this episode of Speak 2 Heal on the Awaken to Purpose Podcast, I sit down with someone who is not just my aunt, she is my fellow survivor. The same man who violated me as a child violated her too. For decades we both carried this in silence. We were threatened. We were told not to tell. We were made to believe that protecting the family name mattered more than protecting us.

Today, we speak anyway.

My aunt Joan opens up about the imaginary family she created in her mind every night just to fall asleep. She talks about the dread of Saturday mornings, hiding under the bed on Friday nights, and what decades of silence did to her body, her relationships, and her sense of self. We talk about what it felt like to finally take the witness stand, what forgiveness actually looks like when the wound runs that deep, and why speaking out, even when it costs you everything, is still worth it.

This episode is not easy. But neither was surviving.

This one is for every person still hiding. Still protecting someone who never protected them. Still carrying shame that was never theirs to carry.

Reassign the shame. It was never yours.

⚠️ Listener discretion is advised. This episode contains discussions of childhood sexual trauma and may be triggering for some listeners. Please prioritize your well-being and take breaks as needed.

 SUBSCRIBE so you never miss an episode of the Awaken to Purpose Podcast.

 LEAVE A REVIEW — it helps us reach more survivors who need this space.

 DROP A COMMENT — tell us what hit home for you. We read every one.

JOURNEY WITH US: 🌐 https://journey2free.com/ 🌐 https://www.journey2freepublishing.com/ 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rhone.rizzy?igsh=MTVtcXNlajUzcnNzcg%3D%3D&utm_source=qr 👥 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/share/17BTLhXHSr/?mibextid=wwXIfr 🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@journey2free1

RESOURCES — You Are Not Alone:

🇺🇸 In the United States: 📞 RAINN National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) | rainn.org 📱 Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 📞 Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-422-4453

🇯🇲 For Information, Help, and Reporting in Jamaica W.I.:

📞 Office of the Children's Registry (OCR) +1876-926-4079 www.welcome.oca.gov.jm

Provides a professional and confidential system to encourage, receive, record, assess, and refer reports of known or suspected child abuse and other threats to children.

📞 Office of the Children's Advocate (OCA) +1-876-948-1293 or 948-1469 www.oca.gov.jm A Commission of Parliament mandated to enforce and protect children's rights and best interests, established under the Child Care and Protection Act (2004).

📞 Child Development Agency (CDA) 876-948-6678 | 948-2841 www.cda.gov.jm A child protection system promoting child-friendly policies and programs to strengthen families.

📞 Centre of Investigations of Sexual Offences and Child Abuse (CISOCA) +1876-926-4079 An arm of the Jamaica Constabulary Force mandated to investigate sexually related offences and child abuse. Offices located in all fourteen parishes in Jamaica.

This is for the one who's been watching the headlines and feeling everything, and couldn't explain why.In this debut episode of Speak 2 Heal the honest, unfiltered segment of the Awaken to Purpose Podcast, host Larissa sits on the couch with two fellow survivors, Ms. Regina and Candy, for a raw, soul-level conversation about what's happening in our culture RIGHT NOW. 

With vault files being released, names being dropped publicly, and the entire nation debating whether survivors should speak, we said enough. Three women who LIVED IT are having this conversation.

Not for performance. Not for clout. For the ones still hiding.In this episode, we talk about:Why watching the Diddy and Epstein revelations can be deeply triggering for survivors.The REAL reasons survivors stay silent, and why demanding disclosure causes harm.How trauma physically rewires the brain (and why the brain PROTECTS you by blocking memories)How trauma showed up in our lives BEFORE we had language for it, workaholism, isolation, anger, distrust, and more The grief that lives inside survival that nobody talks about - Generational trauma cycles and the moment we got sick and tired of staying sickWhy love, yes, love, is one of the biggest reasons children don't tellThis isn't a panel. This is a couch. This is a family.We don't sugarcoat.

We don't perform. We don't require your abuse to look a certain way to belong here. Whether you're a survivor, a secondary survivor, a professional trying to understand, or someone who's been carrying something they can't name — this episode is for you.

• "We overcome by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of our testimony." Revelation 12:11
  

Anchored in Revelation 12:11 and Romans 12:2, Speak 2 Heal is a space where we break silence, reassign the shame, and heal forward — together.

TIMESTAMPS

0:00 — Welcome to Speak 2 Heal

2:30 — Introducing your hosts: Larissa, Ms. Regina & Candy

5:00 — What this cultural moment is stirring up for survivors

14:00 — Why it's so complicated when "justice finally happens"

23:00 — The pressure to perform through your trauma

35:00 — How trauma showed up before we had words fort

48:00 — Why survivors stay silent: the real, layered reasons

1:02:00 — The brain's protection mechanism & repressed memory

1:12:00 — Why love keeps children from telling

1:18:00 — Closing words & what's coming in Part 2

IF THIS HIT YOUR CHEST - SHARE IT.

Someone in your circle needs to hear this. Don't scroll past. Be the reason they feel less alone today.

SUBSCRIBE so you never miss an episode of the Awaken to Purpose Podcast

.Leave a REVIEW - it helps us reach more survivors who need this space.

DROP A COMMENT - tell us what hit home for you. We read every one.

JOURNEY WITH US:Website: https://journey2free.com/Website: https://www.journey2freepublishing.com/Instagram: Facebook: TikTok: Support the mission:

RESOURCES:

RAINN National Sexual Assault Hotline:

1-800-656-HOPE (4673) | rainn.orgCrisis

Text Line: Text HOME to 741741

Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-422-4453