Awakening Now

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Will awakening end your suffering? Perhaps that hope brought you to self-inquiry. But what happens when you understand the teaching, recognise moments of openness, and still find yourself hurting?

In this episode of Awakening Now, I share a talk and Q&A from a live Seeing Through the Self Illusion meeting. We begin with identity: the name, history, personality, and image you refer to as “me.” When you ask “Who am I?”, what kind of answer are you waiting for? Does recognition require an identity shift?

The questions that follow bring this exploration into everyday life. We look at repressed emotions, doubt, the sense of being a separate observer, and the belief that you are the one thinking, choosing, and doing. We also explore resistance and those familiar reactions that return in family relationships.

Towards the end, I guide a participant to meet a feeling of abandonment with attention and kindness. Relief opens into another question: “What if it comes back?”

You’re welcome to listen, pause, and explore these questions in your own experience.

If you haven’t worked with me before, you’re welcome to request a free 30-minute conversation as my gift to you. We can meet, explore your questions, and see whether working together feels right. Read more and fill in the form here:
https://ilonaciunaite.com/sessions/

The conversations and explorations shared here are for education and personal inquiry. They reflect the experiences and perspectives of the speakers. You’re invited to question what you hear and explore it in your own experience. This content is not a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Music by Valdi Sabev. In loving memory and gratitude for the music he shared.

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Websites
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http://liberationunleashed.com

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What if you could change deeply held patterns without years of working through them? What if feeling safe could open the door to possibilities you never imagined?

In this episode of Awakening Now, I speak with Jeffrey M. Smith, best known for his work exposing the risks of genetically modified foods. But there's another side to Jeffrey's life that many people don't know about.

After decades of exploring consciousness, including approximately 50,000 hours of Transcendental Meditation, Jeffrey has turned his attention to what he calls Quantum Magic.

We explore his experiences with the quantum field, quantum bracketing, manifestation, and the possibility of shifting deeply ingrained patterns of thought and behaviour.

Jeffrey also demonstrates his approach during our conversation, and something unexpected happens in my own experience.

Our discussion moves into fascinating territory. Can we transmit a state of consciousness to another person? What happens when the body feels truly safe? Could awakening and inner transformation spread from person to person?

Along the way, Jeffrey shares stories, practical insights, and a refreshingly playful perspective on the possibilities of being human.

This is a conversation about questioning our limitations, discovering what might be possible, and approaching transformation with curiosity rather than struggle.

Connect with Jeffrey M. Smith: 

Website: https://ClaimingYourMagic.com

Book: Claiming Your Magic by Jeffrey M. Smith
https://www.amazon.com/Claiming-Your-Magic-Consciousness-Transformations/dp/B0HJDY5XD4/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0Learn more about his work and his book Claiming Your Magic.

I share reflections on awakening, direct experience, Deep Looking, and living with greater peace and freedom. You'll also hear about upcoming meetings, courses, and opportunities to explore together.

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Music by Valdi Sabev. In loving memory and gratitude for the music he shared.

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Websites
http://ilonaciunaite.com
http://liberationunleashed.com

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What if the version of yourself you're trying to become is the very thing standing in the way?

In this conversation, Ilona speaks with Giotto De Filippi about enlightenment as realization rather than achievement. Giotto walks through the beliefs that quietly run our lives, the idea that things should have gone differently, the sense of being in control, the identity we build and defend, and what it looks like to stop taking those stories as absolute truth.

They talk about the difference between spiritual practice done to feel more special and the kind of honest seeing that actually loosens those stories. Giotto also shares why he considers the spiritual ego trap one of the hardest to escape, since there's rarely a single event that breaks it open.

This episode is for anyone who has sensed that awakening isn't about becoming a better version of themselves, but about questioning what they've been calling true all along.

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Music by Valdi Sabev. In loving memory and gratitude for the music he shared.

Support the show

Websites
http://ilonaciunaite.com
http://liberationunleashed.com

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What happens when someone who spent years questioning everything stops arguing and starts listening.

In this episode, I sit down with Sam Kukathas, a former academic philosopher who spent over a decade as a skeptic before finding he could work with the human voice as a kind of frequency, bringing people back into their own body and their own knowing. When I ask him what he actually does, he stops explaining and offers to show me instead.

We talk about readiness, about the difference between searching for something outside yourself and remembering what's already here, and about what happened the day a voice moved through him that he hadn't expected and couldn't fully explain. Sam also leads a short experience during our conversation, so it's worth finding a quiet moment to listen.

If you've ever sensed that the teacher, the method, or the next insight isn't where the answer lives, this conversation may land somewhere familiar.

About the Guest:
Sam Kukathas is the creator of Neuro-Resonance Optimisation and the founder of Soul Purpose Leaders and Resonance OS. With a background in academic philosophy, his work explores the human voice as a frequency that can open us to who we already are. He was recently named one of the Top 5 Spirituality and Mindset Leaders Creating Extraordinary Impact by the High Impact Awards.

Find Sam:
Website: www.soulpurposeleaders.com
Resonance OS: www.resonanceos.io
Instagram: www.instagram.com/samkukathas

...............

If you want to explore this more deeply, I’ve put everything together here. You’re welcome to subscribe to my email list and be the first to know about the next round of Seeing Through the Separate Self Experience.
https://zcmp.eu/1XWa

Music by Valdi Sabev. In loving memory and gratitude for the music he shared.

Support the show

Websites
http://ilonaciunaite.com
http://liberationunleashed.com

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What happens when the person who taught you the most about awakening is also the one who needed you to stay small?

In this conversation with Nicole Wordlaw, we explore the difference between the awakening we imagine, permanent, painless, almost superhuman, and the one that actually happens, ongoing and fully human. Nicole speaks openly about a cage that formed in her mind long before she met her teacher, and how that same cage was later reflected back to her inside a devoted spiritual relationship. We talk about rest as an unexpected teacher, the quiet work of giving herself permission, and what it means to stop looking for a final arrival.

About the Guest

Nicole Wordlaw is an African American clinical psychologist, longtime meditator in the Buddhist tradition, spirited coach, and the author of Waking Up Alone, Navigating the Narrow Passage Through Master-Slave Narratives. Her training at Stanford University and the University of California at Berkeley honed her thinking mind. But the wisdom she needed did not come from a book, nor did it come from staying away from the difficult. The wisdom she needed arose from spirited practice, practices that illuminated the quiet, still voice that always sounds like Love. She lives with her two children and partner on the Indigenous lands of the Monacan people in Virginia.

Website: https://www.nicolewordlaw.com/ 

Substack: https://nicolewordlaw.substack.com/ 

Book Waking Up Alone: https://www.amazon.com/Waking-Alone-Navigating-Master-Slave-Narratives/dp/1591813735

Join my email list: https://zcmp.eu/1XWa

Music by Valdi Sabev. In loving memory and gratitude for the music he shared.

Support the show

Websites
http://ilonaciunaite.com
http://liberationunleashed.com

Send me your thoughts in a Text Message

There's a question the voice in your head has never been able to answer. Most of us have never actually asked it.

In this episode, the second part of a live Zoom meeting, I work directly with four people, each caught in a different version of the same voice. Shame that's become an identity. Guilt over other people's feelings. The quiet certainty of not being good enough. An inner critic that still feels completely real even when it's seen clearly. Each time, we ask the voice one simple question, and each time, something in it goes quiet.

These live meetings happen every third Thursday of the month, and everyone is welcome to join. Sign up to my newsletter to receive the link. 

If you want to explore this more deeply, I've put everything together here. You're welcome to subscribe to my email list and be the first to know about the next round of Seeing Through the Separate Self Experience. https://zcmp.eu/1XWa

Music by Valdi Sabev. In loving memory and gratitude for the music he shared.

Support the show

Websites
http://ilonaciunaite.com
http://liberationunleashed.com

Send me your thoughts in a Text Message

The voice in your head has been talking your whole life. But have you ever actually stopped and asked it who it's talking to?

In this live meeting, we look directly at the voice in the head, not as something to argue with or quiet down, but as something worth seeing clearly. We trace how it turns into the inner judge, why it can be so convincing, and where this pattern actually came from in the first place.

Rather than trying to fix what the voice says, this conversation points somewhere simpler: seeing it for what it is. Partway through, I bring in a question I use often in Deep Looking. Mind, are you at peace? It's simple, and it opens something.

If you've ever felt caught between believing this voice and hating yourself for believing it, I think this one will speak to you.

If you want to explore this more deeply, I've put everything together here. You're welcome to subscribe to my email list and be the first to know about the next round of Seeing Through the Separate Self Experience. https://zcmp.eu/1XWa

Music by Valdi Sabev. In loving memory and gratitude for the music he shared.

Support the show

Websites
http://ilonaciunaite.com
http://liberationunleashed.com

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Can awakening happen through relationship, or only in solitude? In this conversation, Guy Sengstock, founder of the Circling® Institute, makes the case for the former. For almost thirty years he's built a practice around real, unmanaged contact between two people, and he traces what happens when someone stops performing and actually lets themselves be met.

We talk about wonder as the root of his work, what it means to listen to someone's deepest humanity rather than just wait for your turn, and a line that stayed with me after we stopped recording: I find being a self a strange thing to be. Guy also shares the idea that you could sit with another person for a thousand years and still not get to the bottom of who they are. 

Guy shares the main principles of Circling®  and invites you to try it out through his website.

This episode marks three years of Awakening Now, and I want to thank you for being part of that, for listening, sharing, and writing in with what's landed for you.

If you've done real inward work and find yourself wondering whether it holds up under contact with another person, this conversation is for you.

About the Guest
Guy Sengstock is the founder of the Circling® Institute, a relational practice rooted in wonder, authentic presence, and deep listening that has been running for nearly 30 years. He teaches people how to meet each other and themselves with more honesty, curiosity, and genuine contact.

🔗 Self-study courses: https://circlinginstitute.com/self-study-programs/
🔗 Live courses: https://circlinginstitute.com/programs/
📧 Contact Guy directly: [email protected]

Music by Valdi Sabev. In loving memory and gratitude for the music he shared.

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Websites
http://ilonaciunaite.com
http://liberationunleashed.com

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What happens when the last illusion falls away, and it doesn't feel like peace?

In this conversation, Christiane Michelberger returns two years after her first appearance to talk about what actually happened when her final fetter fell away. Rather than the bliss she expected, she describes hours of disorientation, the sudden loss of a place to withdraw to when things got hard, before it resolved the next morning into something she calls relief.

We talk about the difference between direct pointing and direct experience as paths to seeing through illusion, why awakening doesn't mean the end of anger, fear, or being triggered, and why no teacher can transmit realization to another person. Christiane also shares a striking way of thinking about illusion itself, as a kind of hallucination, sensory experience without sensory input, and what it means to keep returning to what is actually here.

This one is for anyone who has had a glimpse and is quietly wondering what a fuller shift might cost.

Music by Valdi Sabev. In loving memory and gratitude for the music he shared.

Support the show

Websites
http://ilonaciunaite.com
http://liberationunleashed.com

Send me your thoughts in a Text Message

Something in you is looking for relief right now, whether you call it awakening, peace, or simply wanting to feel okay again. If that's where you are, you're welcome to join Deep Looking Immersion: [LINK]

What are you really looking for underneath the hope for awakening? This episode comes from a live meeting, opening with a short talk on where seeking actually begins, not curiosity, but suffering, and the quiet hope that once the self is seen through, everything difficult will finally stop.

From there, four real conversations unfold. Ben, George, Swen, and Tammy each bring something different to look at, an old assumption about awakening, a fear of feeling good, a belief that something is wrong with them, and each one is met directly, as it happens rather than talked about from a distance.

Music by Valdi Sabev. In loving memory and gratitude for the music he shared.

Support the show

Websites
http://ilonaciunaite.com
http://liberationunleashed.com