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Awakening is a shift in perception, a clear seeing of what you are and what you’ve mistaken yourself for. it reveals what was here all along

You’re listening to Awakening Now, a podcast for those who are on the path of self-discovery and spiritual awakening.

This is episode number 115. The Reality of Awakening: Why the Honeymoon Fades and How to Meet What Returns

My name is Ilona Ciunaite.

I’m a guide, an author, and co-creator of the Liberation Unleashed community.

If you are in the process of awakening, this space is for you. For 14 years, I’ve supported people through awakening—both the clarity and the confusion that follow the first insight.

This episode brings together three segments from a single live meeting, offering a clear look at the reality of awakening beyond the initial insight. We explore the honeymoon phase of awakening—why early openness and clarity fade, why old conditioning returns, and how awakening is not a final event but an ongoing recognition of presence. This part brings clarity to seekers who feel confused when expansion shifts into contraction.

The episode then moves into two practical sessions on emotional integration. First, we meet an inner child that has been calling for attention and driving compulsive behaviours like overeating and seeking validation. Then, in a live session with Tammy, we look at fear, intensity, and the belief that relaxing is unsafe, and how presence meets these movements without fixing or resisting them. Throughout all three segments, the focus is on meeting emotions directly, seeing through the mind’s stories, and recognising what is already here beneath every wave. 

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In the Stay Spiritual interview, I talk about the quiet flip from seeking to seeing — the moment when the pressure dissolves and looking into your own present experience becomes the first real step toward peace.

So many seekers carry a private heaviness that is difficult to name. It isn’t just the desire for awakening; it’s the subtle tension of feeling behind, of trying to catch up, of believing that others are closer to something you can’t quite touch. The desperation grows quietly, and often nobody sees it. In this conversation, I speak about how that weight begins to fall away when the attention turns from ideas of awakening toward the simplicity of what is here now. When the grasping relaxes, even just a little, something softer begins to open.

I also share the beginning of my own journey — the moment a single question revealed that nobody is running the show. It didn’t arrive with fireworks or certainty. It came as a simple seeing, unmistakable and ordinary, like noticing something in plain sight that had been missed for years. Nothing dramatic changed, yet everything shifted. I felt more like coming home than discovering something new.

If you’ve been seeking for a long time, if glimpses rise and fade, or if part of you quietly fears that you’re missing something essential, I hope this meets you with gentleness. You don’t need to push yourself any further. You don’t need to earn clarity. You don’t need to become someone different. The doorway is not in the future. It’s right here in whatever you’re experiencing in this moment.

Beneath the movement of seeking, there is a natural ease that never leaves. It becomes visible when the fight to get somewhere rests for a moment. When you turn toward your immediate experience — without pressure, without comparison, without trying to fix anything — you begin to feel the ground under your own feet again. And often, that is where the real shift begins.

Find James & Justin here:  @stayspiritual  

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Trust yourself in awakening. In this intimate conversation, Ilona Ciunaite and nonduality guide Luchana Uzunova explore spiritual awakening, embodiment, and living as awareness in daily life.
 What unfolds after seeing through the self-illusion? How does peace deepen, fear soften, and the body learn to trust life again?

We talk about the real texture of awakening beyond concepts: being at peace with not-knowing, dissolving the “center,” integrating emotions, meeting fear with curiosity, and allowing life to move without the old protection patterns. Luchana shares how embodiment turns insight into lived freedom — not as a one-time event, but as an ongoing, human, ordinary, beautiful process.

If you’ve already glimpsed what you are and wonder what’s next, this episode is for you. Stay to the end for Luchana’s closing invitation: “If it can happen for one, it can happen for all.”

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Connect with Luchana:
Website → https://awakeningawakened.com/
YouTube → @LuchanaLubo 
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Most seekers begin this journey with expectations — about how awakening should look, how it should feel, or what will be lost or gained. But these assumptions quietly block the very seeing they long for.

In this short talk, Ilona Ciunaite points to the five biggest mistakes seekers make on the path of awakening: projecting outcomes, fearing loss, doubting simplicity, chasing experiences, and dismissing what’s already here.

This is a direct invitation to pause the search and look for yourself. What is actually happening right now? What is imagined?
Awakening isn’t a distant event or a dramatic experience — it’s the simple recognition of what’s always been here.

Watch until the end to see how subtle expectations keep the mind spinning and how the simplest look can shift everything.

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Join Ilona’s monthly live events and find more resources at https://ilonaciunaite.com
This video will help you understand how:
– Fear that “I’ll lose family/job/body” is a protection pattern that blocks looking.
– Mind objects to simplicity and prefers to analyze and build stories.
– Awakening is everyday living, not a final state or fireworks.
– Seeing “nothing” is a real seeing; don’t reject it because it is not an experience.

When you stop chasing what isn’t here and turn attention to what is, awakening naturally reveals itself.
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In this conversation, Ilona Ciunaite speaks with Pierce Salguero — scholar, author, and long-time meditator — about his book The Lamp Unto Yourself and his multidharma model that honors the many paths of awakening.

Together they explore how different traditions point to the same essence of truth and freedom, how awakening unfolds beyond conceptual understanding, and how the light of awareness guides each of us from within.
 This dialogue offers both a wide view of the dharma and a grounded invitation to live what we see.

You’ll hear about:
– The multidharma approach to awakening
– The balance between scholarship and lived experience
– The universality of awareness across traditions

If you’re interested in the intersection of awakening, mindfulness, and diverse dharma paths, this episode will widen your view and bring the teaching closer to home.

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Music by Valdi Sabev. Visit his channel for more calm and relaxed music:
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In this guided Deep Looking session, Ilona Ciunaite invites you to look directly into your own experience and explore the nature of the self.
 Rather than answering with the mind, you’re guided to notice thoughts, sensations, and awareness itself — to see what is truly here, beyond concepts and ideas.

This session focuses on the heart — feeling instead of thinking, softening attention, and allowing what is present to be fully met.
 As you follow the questions, you may begin to sense that experience happens effortlessly, without a “me” at the center.

You’ll explore:
– The illusion of self and how to look without thinking about it
– The difference between intellectual knowing and direct seeing
– How to integrate awakening through everyday awareness

Watch slowly. Pause where you need to. No effort, no belief — just looking.

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Non-duality and awakening aren’t concepts to believe in, they’re about seeing through the illusion of self. Trying to understand this with the mind is just another trap. You’ve been sold the idea that awakening is a magic switch… spoiler: it’s not.

This episode rips apart the myths, the trap of seeking, the patterns that keep you hooked, and the illusion that you are in control. There’s no chooser, no doer, no seeker. Just life doing its thing.

The questions asked are these:
Why does seeking keep you in circles
The cold truth about “free will” and choice
Why the self is just another program running 

If you’re fed up chasing “awakening” like it’s a finish line, this is the slap in the face that you need.
And perhaps by the end of this episode you will see why and how to stop playing the seeking game.

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Music by Valdi Sabev, Visit his channel for more calm and relaxed music 
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What if awakening isn’t about understanding concepts, but directly recognising presence through lived experience?

In this episode of Awakening Now, I sat down with Alina Panteleev, a Non-Dual Teacher and Certified Somatic Repression Coach.

Alina helps soulful, self-aware women and men who, despite years of inner work, still feel caught in cycles of self-doubt, emotional repression, and over-processing. Her work is for those ready to take full responsibility for their transformation, apply the practices with autonomy, and rise into embodied leadership, authentic expression, and soul-aligned impact.

Together we explore how teachings from Ramana Maharshi and nonduality start to resonate, not through the mind’s effort to “get it,” but through the body itself waking up.

This conversation dives into how presence recognises itself, why intellectual understanding comes later in the journey, and what it means when the question “Who am I?” finally lands at a deeper stage of awakening.

In this episode, you’ll discover:
-Why awakening isn’t just an intellectual process
-How the body “comes online” and shifts everything
-The role of resonance in recognising presence
-Why self-inquiry often arrives later in the path
- How practice ripens recognition beyond the mind

If you’ve ever struggled to “understand” nonduality or wondered why the path feels backward at times, this dialogue will give you fresh clarity and encouragement.

Connect with Alina Panteleev:
Book a Clarity Call - https://presencealchemy.as.me/schedule/6ab7e889/appointment/30758776/calendar/6546380?appointmentTypeIds[]=30758776
Instagram- https://www.instagram.com/soulfireunbound/
Facebook- https://www.facebook.com/alinapanteleev108
YouTube-  @soulfireunbound  

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What if your regrets, guilt, and “what ifs” about the past are nothing more than sitting on a train wishing it turned left when the tracks only go straight?

In this powerful satsang, we explore a simple but life-changing metaphor: life moves the way it’s meant to, and no moment could have unfolded any differently. All the pain, joy, confusion, and growth have led you right here, right now.

If you’ve been stuck in regret, shame, or self-judgment, this talk is an invitation to let go and embrace the freedom of the present moment. Life is carrying you, all you need to do is trust the rails.

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Music by Valdi Sabev, Visit his channel for more calm and relaxed music 
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Subscribe to my Newsletter for updates and to receive info about free monthly meetings on Zoom 
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Music by Valdi Sabev, Visit his channel for more calm and relaxed music 
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Need help with seeing through the illusion of self? Go here 👉 https://bit.ly/4oY0ztV

What if “I understand this intellectually” is the very thought keeping you from seeing reality as it is?

In this nonduality dialogue, we look directly into experience to explore the illusion of a separate self, the trap of expectations, and the deeper longing for truth that cannot be satisfied by concepts.

Through raw honesty and direct inquiry, we uncover:
📌 Why intellectual understanding is not the same as seeing
📌 How the mind creates the illusion of “me”
📌 The role of expectations in keeping seeking alive
📌 What remains when thought is set aside and longing is met directly

🌿 This is not about belief, it’s about looking into your own lived experience.

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#awakeningnow #ilonaciunaite #selfinquiryquestions #liberationunleashed #seeingthroughselfillusion #howtodoselfinquiry 

DISCLAIMER
This video is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical or psychological care.  If persistent pain or anxiety affects your daily life, please consult a qualified health provider.

Websites
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