Say is a John Mayer song—he is “our musical spirit animal”, along with John Denver. Maybe, they are more like emotional support musicians for Tiff and I. John Denver was actually a Delta Tau Delta in the same chapter at Texas Tech, as Ryan was a brother. They were “Delt Bros” of course not in the same era. Nevertheless, Tiffany and I decided he is our brother too. Now that Ryan and John are both dead. John Mayer is our new “Bro”, by death’s default. Say became Ryan’s death anthem, next to Damn It Feels Good to be a Gangsta’. We have a way of replacing family members for various reasons (and giving songs deep meaning and motivation). It’s also healthy coping with family trauma that we do in the safety of relationship with valued friends; the trustworthy ones sent by God as rewards for abuses suffered. Some family members shouldn’t have a seat at our tables, just because we share genetics doesn’t mean I need to break bread with them. I am a huge believer in forgiveness and reconciliation, do that—but, you forgive for you. Set boundaries with those who have mistreated you, confront them on your terms. You take care of you by saying what you need to say; and say it when you need to say it(&are completely ready). You protect you. You do you. Honoring your truth will always set you free, and give you the ultimate peace that surpasses all understanding. That’s all I want, is peace and JU$TICE for ALL. Criminals have no liberties. They have no real freedoms of a “normal life”. Easy money is not easy money—it is a very, very dirty business for everyone whom comes in contact with such things. Run from dirty money and dirty people; it will save your peace and serenity, and could possibly even save your life. It saved mine over a decade ago, to pretend my brother was already dead. And now he is—and I hope is resting in true power and real peace. This is my prayer.