Second year grief seems harder than the first. Maybe it’s grief fatigue, maybe it’s just simply the shock has worn off and we are sad. No matter why, it's been a real bummer lately. You may say we sound like a broken record, but with so much outrage in the world and turmoil right now, broken record seems to be in fashion. Just call us fashionable.

We picked a good record to play this week with “Two of Us” by The Beatles. This tune elicits a certain “awww…so sweet” reaction from most everyone I know. Try to listen and try not to sway in your seat or tap your toe…go ahead, we’ll wait…(seriously it’s on ANY streaming platform, just go listen!). Did you feel that lightness? The hope? Did you feel the weight of the lyrics;

“You and I have memories

Longer than the road that stretches out ahead.”

Pretty heavy lyric for a song with whistling in it.

In Katie’s case with Kathleen it may be true that the time spent with her is longer than the years she has left, unless she lives to 86, which is seeming more unlikely with every passing week that she can’t find a PCP. Tim had 19 years with Kathleen, also not an insignificant amount of time.

This song with it’s bouncy melody, comforting harmonies, and sweet whistle at the end is no lightweight of a song. It carries memory and mortality in equal measure. If you have been to Liverpool, you can feel those influences everywhere. The Bombed out Church was pretty striking for these Americans when we went in 2018. No histrionic weeping, or grotesque plaque that no one reads, just a bombed out church. Such a matter-of-fact practical memorial to the Liverpool Blitz.

One of the worst part of living in America is the denial when things go wrong. We argue over our past to put a positive face on everything. When we tell people our daughter has died, a very common reaction is to tell us what an opportunity we have for gratitude for everything else going good in our lives. Puke and double puke, we say. Let us live with it all. The good, the bad, and the heartbreak.

The Beatles have taught us a lot about living with tragedy. How we can come out the other side of unfairness and heartbreak with, if not a smile, at least a deeper understanding of our humanity

.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit katietimanderson.substack.com