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"This is one of the worst week's I filmed Dance Moms, behind the scenes," remembers Christi. Everyone's point of no return for the show was different, but for Christi it was during "Decisions Decisions" that Abby finally pushed her too far. It's a week so excruciating that it still weighs heavily on both Christi and Brooke, though it did gift us one of Christi's most iconic bits of profanity laden ranting.

Abby welcomes Kalani to the ALDC proper as a replacement for both of the Hylands, leaving Payton out for good despite having been an actual student of Abby's unlike Kalani and Payton placing second on the Pyramid! The only person who kept her from the top was Kelly, whose "mug shot" makes the Top of the Pyramid as behind the scenes the legal battle between Abby and Kelly is officially underway. To add to the drama, Abby insists the girls all wear white costumes for the group number this week that already own, but Kelly just so happens to have two of them and Abby leaves it up to the moms to get them back. When Christi pushes back it results in a a slew of F-bombs that Abby does not want to hear. But was there more to this outburst than meets the eye? According to Christi there is a lot the cameras didn't show this week, and a lot of it was pretty bad to warrant a call to her own attorney.

Meanwhile Cathy is back with the routine she pulled from competition two weeks prior, now more confident it's in tip top shape to beat the ALDC. It concerns Abby enough that she has a talking to with the judges to make sure they know their place. But will the behind the scenes drama at the ALDC keep the team from their 12th consecutive win?

Quotes

• “I mean it's trauma bonding. Yeah! God, how many people in the world have trauma because of Dance Moms? Well for everyone else it's their comfort show!" (12:51-13:01 | Christi & Kelly)
• “Yeah Kelly it's Bourbon Street, you don't touch things!” (20:40-20:43 | Christi)
• “We got a big Pyramid this week. Then we have a surprise guest! Is it you? That would be me!" (23:13-23:22 | Christi & Kelly)
• “Oh, how exciting we have marabou." (33:03-33:06 | Kelly)

Links

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Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

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"Chloe is mortified. Just in case anybody is unclear about her face, she is mortified," explains Christi as this week's return to your regularly scheduled episode of Dance Moms is just as rough as it's always been. But on "Sister Showdown" things are especially dire for quite literally everybody, and that's pretty wild for a week where the girls take home all the top spots at competition! Maddie doesn't even make it out unscathed (tho she does in the final edit of the episode so tune-in for some tea).

Abby still hasn't settled on a new team and welcomes Payton back into the fold. She even gets a spot on the Pyramid despite not being present at the previous competition, but Abby uses her placement to chastise Payton for crying in the dressing room on her last appearance. This causes Payton to cry and leave the room, leaving Leslie officially on the offensive against Abby this week. To let Payton prove herself, Abby makes her the lead of the group number "Lift You Up", inspired by the musical Kinky Boots. But between the garish costuming and iffy choreography, it's hard not to feel as though Abby is still setting Payton up to fail.

For perhaps the first time ever, Abby gives solos to both Maddie and Mackenzie for a sister vs sister conflict. It's a lot of pressure for Mackenzie who has to suffer through Abby's constant comparisons between the two. Meanwhile Chloe takes the third solo, a contemporary called Follow You. With the Hylands gone the number of Abby's targets grows smaller, and Chloe is starting to feel the pressure to not end up on Abby's bad side.

Quotes

• “Please know that nothing irritated Abby more than the fact that those kids kept winning." (22:11-22:16 | Christi)
• “Here's all I'm going to say. If any of the Dance Moms cast goes missing we'll only be missing for less than 24 hours. One of our fans will find us.” (34:49-34:56 | Christi)
• “It's crazy that like people love [Abby]. Who loves her?! Fans. Hmmm, they have bad taste." (50:40-50:48 | Christi & Kelly)
• “Leslie, I know we got into a fist fight in New Orleans. I couldn't have your back more here." (1:19:28-1:19:35 | Christi)

Links

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Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510

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"So what were your first impressions of all of us? Oh you guys were mad." I guess having your first day on the job be when the moms are on strike isn't the most ideal way to make a first impression, but for Associate Producer Chris Maragni it was all part of the gig. On this week's episode of Back to the Barre we are joined by Chris for his turn in the spotlight. He worked on three seasons of the show, including Season 4 which means we can get the tea on what really went down behind the scenes. Some of the tea is so piping hot that some of it was even news to Christi and Kelly!

Topics include: What happened in the aftermath of Kelly's smack with Abby? How did the song selection for the dances work? Who was the hardest non-Abby cast member to work with? And most importantly, can Christ elaborate on the "Showmances" that Annie implied he took part in? Tune-in for the answers to these questions and much more!

Quotes

• “You had to let [Abby] scream at you and then you had to give it back to her, otherwise you couldn't work with her." (16:44-16:49 | Chris)
• “I think most of the crew would agree with me; it felt like we had seven little sisters on set with us at all times. They were guilt tripping us to stop smoking cigarettes!” (20:07-20:15 | Chris)
• “Ok, let's talk about Kelly's fight. Oof, Oh god. This one is fun. you think!?" (32:52-32:59 | Christi, Kelly & Chris)
• “Why did we never have a wrap party?! I know! We never did anything fun. All out wrap parties ended in jail." (47:45-47:53 | Christi & Kelly)

Links

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Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510

Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiak

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"What kind of dance teacher goes up to the judges and says disqualify my kid?" It's a good question Kelly! But the answer is pretty simple when Abby Lee Miller is on the case! Turns out building a new team isn't so easy, but as the episodes title (Blame it on the New Girl) implies there is at least an easy scapegoat Abby won't hesitate to pounce on.

Joining the ALDC for a one time solo venture is Fallon Chapman and her mom Cheryl whom Abby met at the Florida auditions. But Abby begins to sour on her newest dancer as Fallon struggles to pick up the pace on her solo. Abby starts to openly mock Fallon to Cheryl, but her pettiness is nothing compared to when Fallon manages to forget her choreography entirely at competition. It's certainly a bad look, but in classic Abby fashion she manages to make the situation much worse for wear. But for Abby a lot is at stake since if the ALDC wins this week it'll be their 10th consecutive 1st place win, and since Candy Apples is also in attendance she really can't afford to look bad.

Meanwhile the girls take a trip to cheer up Mrs. Miller in the nursing home, though Christi is notably barred from attending.

Quotes

• “It's not torture, it's funny!" (01:40-01:42 | Christi)
• “That was some gay man who wanted to sleep with Kelly, but just the tip... cause he's gay.” (15:36-15:42 | Christi)
• “Every new mom Brian brought in had big fat fake boobs because he was obsessed with women with fake boobs." (30:45-30:51 | Christi)
• “Everybody needs to take a shot for Broadway baby making a cameo *indistinct grunting noises from Kelly*" (34:58-35:02 | Christi & Kelly)

Links

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Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510

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"She says that it's good when kids lose. Obviously not all kids." observes Kelly since it seems Abby is determined not to let Maddie get outshined, even if she could be bested by her newest teammate. On "No Solo For You", the ALDC travels to Detroit for Masters of Dance Arts with a group routine centered around the fall of Detroit's automotive industry? It's certainly... a choice, but I guess it wouldn't be an ALDC dance without Abby's "unique" takes. Meanwhile Abby assigns solos to Maddie and Kendall. There was a notable lack of a solo for Kalani, which Kira immediately takes issue with. Abby insists Kira is overreacting, but everyone else knows that Abby can't let her star pupil lose. At the very least she could help Kendall... or she can be incredibly rude, same difference! The tole of Abby's behavior begins to weight on Kendall, who struggles to make it through her rehearsal that Abby admits to half-watching.

Holly publishes her first book and the ALDC attends a book signing party. Abby manages to belittle Holly's achievement in front of everyone, but Holly pushes back sternly. Sincerely, what is Abby's deal this week? The next thing you know she's going to try and goad Christi into punching her! But Christi is prepared for such an occurrence and won't resort to physical violence. Instead she'll go with the next best thing, blowing on her! Would you be shocked to hear that still made Abby very mad?

Quotes

• “Do you remember the gifts Abby used to give the kids? Yes. Like thongs from Gabrielles." (19:23-19:029 | Christi & Kelly)
• “She always wanted the kids to wear ALDC [shirts] in Pyramid, because she knew that they were going to film them from the chest up.” (21:06-21:12 | Christi)
• “It's a big story to convey in a two minute dance. You know what else is a big story to convey in a two minute dance? Slavery." (42:07-42:14 | Christi & Kelly)
• “That's where Count-stalkula was born." (57:31-57:33 | Christi)

Links

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Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

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"We like affirmations Annie. We want you to make us feel good about ourselves. Ok, I'll keep that in mind," promises producer Annie, but that's a pretty tall order when you're recounting the slap heard around the world! That's right today we're welcoming back Producer Annie to answer all of your questions about what went down behind the scenes during Kelly's big moment.

Questions our lovely bitchettes asked include: Which of the moms knew about Kalani, and how planned out was Kalani's inclusion overall? Did Abby conspire with producers to oust Kelly? What were the productions concerns about the situation, who had a say in what happened next? Most importantly of course, how many "showmances" were happening on-set? Tune-in to discover the answer to these questions and much more!

Quotes

• “Dance Moms fans are mean. I'm grateful or them but they are mean." (01:02-01:06 | Christi)
• “Well, isn't everyone a little bit actively dying?” (04:35-04:37 | Annie)
• “Well I didn't know what a [whore bath] was. Well now you do. the more you know! Back to the Barre, providing quality education here." (31:57-32:07 | Christi & Kelly)
• “Did you guys want Kelly off? Did you plan to get her off the show? No. No. Just Abby did, and Abby always gets her way!" (35:30-35:39 | Christi, Kelly & Annie)

Links

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Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

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"I dislike Abby but that is no news for anyone who is watching," remarks Christi as Abby continues to prod in the hopes she will be the next to leave on "Nothing's Fair in Abbyville". But unfortunately for both of them Christi still has a season left in her, so Abby settles on belittling Kendall this week.

Mackenzie and the Zieglers are in Los Angeles recording Mackenzie's first single. To fill the Maddie shaped hole int he group dance Abby holds a dance off between the girls that Kendall wins. And despite commenting what a great opportunity this position is for Kendall to prove her worth, Abby has no intention of letting Kendall actually take Maddie's place. In fact she desperately works to get Maddie back in time for competition, claiming she never actually promised Kendall the part... so what was the dance off for?

Meanwhile Kira and Kalani continue to settle into the team dynamic. Kira worries that Abby is going to set her daughter up to compete with Maddie, but the moms point out that Kalani is so good that Abby would never dare pit her against Maddie. Any situation where Maddie might lose is strictly off limits. Kalani might be the ALDC's best dancer, but Abby didn't train her so she can't flex her too much.

Kelly calls in to organize a lunch with Christi, whom production forces to invite the rest of the moms including Kalani. What will prove to be Kelly's final appearance on-screen is rather quaint as she's still happy to be off the team, despite how much the production wanted the situation to start drama (why else would you invite Kalani). Melissa is visibly uneasy though, wonder why!

Quotes

• “I was gonna say what are you drinking? I'm not drinking anything except for like NyQuil." (09:11-09:15 | Christi)
• "There's nothing that brings energy and fun to the room quite like Abby Lee Miller, so have at ti." (14:50-14:56 | Christi)
• “Jill is not only wearing fur, she might be wearing what, in my mind, could be the most iconic piece of fur on Dance Moms. " (17:57-18:06 | Christi)
• “Mole again, mole gone. Mole here, mole there, mole everywhere. Mole gone" (29:45-29:51 | Christi)

Links

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Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510

Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiak

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"It felt like the show as we knew it was over, and it was!" Christi's prognosis certainly proved to be right, but on "Wingman Down" the rest of the ALDC acts like it's business as usual. Though there is a Kelly, Paige and Brooke shaped hole in the team you'd be hard pressed to tell anyone was upset over the matter. Kelly points out again that Melissa had some blame to take but Jill and Holly insist on trying to keep the peace.

Abby welcomes Kira and Kalani onto the team as Kelly's replacement, stating that Kelly has been arrested (she wasn't) and is no longer welcome. Melissa tries to get the group started on the right foot and invites everyone over to he house for cheese and wine. The only absentee? Christi obviously! The show begins to present Christi as distant from the team, which is both partially true because she didn't want to pretend nothing had happened, and also heightened by the show's editing to imply it was worse than it really was.

Meanwhile Holly is dedicated to making Nia's rare instance of having solo count, but Abby still won't give Nia the time of day. Instead Abby is out helping Mackenzie get set up to be Mac Z, singer and performer extraordinaire! When she does make time for Nia it's to tell her she's not being enough like Maddie. The problem boils over when Nia suffers a costuming mishap with her hat on stage, which not only bodes unwell for Nia but somehow Christi gets in trouble? It really is over!

Quotes

• “I reached up to ger a cookie and all of a sudden I saw all this smoke. And I'm like what the fuck is on fire? It was you! It was me!" (09:32-09:39 | Christi & Kelly)
• "If Melissa had do it to Jill or Holly they wouldn't be feeling this way. They would be feeling exactly the way that we do." (28:38-28:46 | Christi)
• “This costume is beautiful. It's gorgeous... it's from a catalogue! Holly stop trying to be so nice!" (43:44-43:50 | Christi)
• “I met this sports psychologist this week. She's really sweet. She's a dance mom but also a sports psychologist and she told me that she literally uses Dance Moms clips as teaching tools of how to not to coach children." (53:55-54:11 | Christi)

Links

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Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510

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"You're doing your job. Your job is literally to fight!"

The Slap Heard Around the World was so loud you can still hear it echo to this very day. So naturally Christi and Kelly have a lot more to discuss about the subject! This week our Bitches are digging deeper into "Big Trouble in the Big Apple", pulling back the curtain on the behind the scenes aftermath and answering some bitchette submitted questions.

Topics include: What really went down with Kelly's arrest? Was that really her mug shot featured on the show? What was everyone's immediate reaction to the slap, how did the kids react? What went down at the trial and much, much more!

Quotes

• “Somebody said what's your word? Like what's your inspiration word? I was gonna say asshole." (07:26-07:31 | Christi & Kelly)
• “I went to Macy's in New York and was shopping for outfits for those kids to meet Lucy Hale while you were in jail. Well thanks!" (28:39-28:47 | Christi & Kelly)
• “[Abby] had a cop walk her to the bathroom, cause she knew we were in the building, stand guard so we couldn't pee when she was in the bathroom. Maybe she was afraid we were going to gang up and kick her?" (40:16-40:31 | Christi & Kelly)
• “...and now the episodes get really dark. Fun fun!" (1:00:08-1:00:10 | Christi)

Links

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Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510

Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiak

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