Season One, Episode Four 

Band-aid Friends 

Always remember that you are the most important person in your life. That being selfish is not a bad thing. It can be  depending on how you go about it. But you should take care of yourself first and foremost because you can't pour from an empty cup. 

Throughout my journey to live my best life, I have created the term Band-aid Friends.

This term began well before I used it. It began with my childhood of enjoying attention. I have always enjoyed attention; which I want to emphasize is not necessarily a bad thing. You need to be careful though when you are someone who enjoys attention to make sure that the energy and vibrations you are putting out into the world for everyone to respond to is not unhealthy. For me, into my adolescence, this enjoyment of attention quickly turned into me becoming  people pleaser. I found myself allowing people to walk all over me simply because I wanted their attention and I did not want them to dislike me

It wasn't until my hubby showed me that I did not have to accept these relationships in my life. I share  a personal story of how hubby demonstrated to me that I could remove someone who was very toxic in my life and while I understand many people may think he had no right to do that, I disagree. Because hubby did exactly what I was unable to do and see at the time because I was so engulfed in my people pleasing characteristics.

I learned I could remove myself from situations and that I had every right to remove toxic people from my life. So I am here to tell you, you are under NO obligation to keep ANY toxic person or relationship in your life. 

I know this is hard when you have such a big heart (which is a characteristic of a people pleaser and is a beautiful thing to be proud of). But remember that not every person is deserving of that big heart of yours.  

You don't have to live your life responsible for everyone's feelings and response to how you live your life. 

Please note I don't mean this gives you the right to be an asshole, but you get to live your life without worry of others response to your actions. 

So circling back to the term Band-aid Friends, I want you to think about when you wear a band-aid. Yes, it can help stop the blood of an injury, or help keep pathogens out; however when you wear it too long it destroys your skin. it does this because in order to heal properly, your skin needs to breathe.

If you think about this as a person, you can see how the same characteristics can apply.

I want you to evaluate the relationships in your life.
How do you feel in them?
Do you feel safe?
Can you be your most authentic self?
See how the people in your life respond with words and body language when you celebrate a win, or when you suffer a loss.

These questions will help you differentiate between the band-aid friends and the hydrogen peroxide friends.

The hydrogen peroxide friends are the friends that get into your deepest parts. They may sting you with some things they say, but it's because those things are exactly what you need to hear, not necessarily what you want to hear.  But they will help get all the crap out of your life to help you breathe and heal properly. Because you deserve to heal properly. 

It hurts to rip a band-aid off. The adhesive can be so sticky that it pulls at hairs on the skin and just flat out hurts. Which is why some people end up keeping them on for even longer, or rip them off really fast. 

But if people aren't helping you be the best you and are toxic towards you... rip those band-aids off. 

Music Credit:
www.audionautix.com

Cheers to dreams & wild things *