After 16 months living homeless in my car, I self-admitted to a psychiatric hospital in Boulder, Colorado. This is my first diary entry from inside—January 7, 2025, exactly one year ago this week.

I share what led to admission, the process itself, and why I didn't feel worthy of the care I was receiving.

If you've ever felt unseen, emotionally offline, or quietly overwhelmed while life kept moving—this may feel familiar.

⚠️ Crisis resources: 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline | Call or text 988 | 988lifeline.org

I'm not a therapist. This is only my experience being shared.

Read the full transcript: https://berchman.substack.com

The job hunt isn't just exhausting—it's emotionally brutal. In this episode of Transmission_X, I share what it’s like to apply for over 1,500 jobs in today’s digital job market and how the constant rejection impacts your mental health.This is a real, unfiltered look at the intersection of job searching and mental health—the burnout, the doubt, and why I still keep showing up.👉 Timestamps:00:00 – The job hunt grind01:00 – Rejection fatigue & feeling invisible03:00 – Mental toll of job search cycles04:00 – Losing confidence05:00 – Why I keep going🔑 Keywords:job hunt mental health, job search burnout, mental health during job search, applying for jobs online, job rejection depression, AI job search tips, emotional toll of job hunting, how to stay motivated in job search🎧 Listen on Spotify, Apple & more: Transmission_X Podcast 🔥 Support the show & get extras: Patreon.com/[yourpatreonname 📹 Watch AI builds in action: Modern AI Web Machine YouTube Channel💬 Leave a comment if you’ve felt the burnout too. You’re not alone—and you don’t have to disappear.----------------------------------------------------------🎙 Listen to Transmission-X Podcast (4–7 episodes per week)!📌 Subscribe & Follow the Journey! → https://www.youtube.com/@ModernAIWebMachine🌐 Explore More:🔗 AI-Powered Mental Health Art Business → bert.forsale👤 Personal Site → http://berchman.com/💼 Professional Site → http://bertmahoney.com/👉 Support the journey & unlock exclusive content:💜 Patreon → http://patreon.com/bertforsale#TechJourney #mentalhealthawarness #jobhunt #mentalhealth #TransmissionX #jobsearchburnout #digitaljobsearch #rejectionfatigue #creativecareers #resilience #aiandcareer #modernaiwebmachine #AI #WebDevelopment #webdesign #automation #IndieHacker

They won’t say it out loud, but you can feel it.

The rejections come faster—or not at all.

The interviews are polite, cold, over before they even begin.

If you’ve ever struggled to find work after a certain age, this episode of TransmissionX is for you.

📉 Inside this episode:

✅ The hidden bias of ageism in hiring – How experience is treated as a liability

✅ The brutal job search – 1,600+ applications, countless rejections, and ghosting

✅ The mental toll – When you start questioning your own worth

✅ Why companies lose out on talent by prioritizing youth over experience

💡 What this means for you:If you’ve been told you’re “overqualified,” if you’ve started hiding your experience just to get a shot—you’re not alone.

Experience isn’t a liability. It’s everything.

📢 Join the conversation.

Have you faced ageism in your career?

Share your story in the comments.

Subscribe for more real, unfiltered discussions.

🔗 Visit BERT.forsale for mental health awareness artwork & AI-powered resources.

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🎙 Subscribe + Listen to Transmission-X Podcast (4-7 episodes per week)!https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLgVdeaYJeOiO-kfSHIEuwszG8wfgbRkH3

🎥 Watch more at Modern AI Web Machine on YouTube. New Videos Every Week!

📌 Subscribe & Follow the Journey! → https://www.youtube.com/@ModernAIWebMachine

🌐 Explore More:

🔗 AI-Powered Mental Health Art Business → bert.forsale

👤 Personal Site → [berchman.com](http://berchman.com/)

💼 Professional Site → [bertmahoney.com](http://bertmahoney.com/)

👉 Support the journey & unlock exclusive content:

💜 Patreon → [patreon.com/bertforsale](http://patreon.com/bertforsale)

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#AgeismInWorkplace #JobSearchStruggles #OverqualifiedAndUnemployed #CareerAfter50 #WorkplaceDiscrimination #JobMarketRealities #SurvivalMindset #ModernAIWebMachine #TransmissionX #PersonalGrowth #OvercomingRejection #FindingYourWorth #MentalHealthAwareness #CareerResilience #TechForGood #genx #genxpodcast #MentalHealth #AI #TransmissionX #MentalHealthAwareness #LifeAfterLayoff #FindingYourWorth #PodcastLife #ModernAIWebMachine #EcommerceAI #TechForGood

One call. One moment. Everything shifted. What happens when your entire sense of stability vanishes in an instant? When your work, your value, your identity is reduced to a number—a line item in a corporate decision? This episode of TransmissionX is about that gut-wrenching experience of job loss, rejection, and the long road back.💥 Inside this episode:✅ The shock of losing a job and the emotions that follow✅ The brutal reality of modern job hunting—1,600+ applications, endless rejections✅ The deeper struggle: questioning your worth, resilience, and identity✅ How to push forward when the world seems to have moved on without you💡 Why this matters:If you’ve ever been blindsided by life—whether through job loss, personal struggles, or rejection—this episode is for you. You are not alone. And as I’ve learned, this is far from over.📢 Join the conversation. Share your story in the comments. Subscribe for more real, raw, and unfiltered discussions.This is In The Margins, a segment of the TransmissionX Podcast, part of the Modern AI Web Machine YouTube channel. If you relate to this journey, subscribe, like, and share—it truly helps.🔔 New episodes weekly | 🎨 My AI-powered e-commerce journey also featured!--#JobLoss #CareerAfter50 #Resilience #MentalHealth #AI #TransmissionX #grief #loss #hiring #genx #genxpodcast #TransmissionX #JobLoss #Resilience #OvercomingRejection #MentalHealthAwareness #CareerStruggles #AIforCreatives #PersonalGrowth #SurvivalMindset #LifeAfterLayoff #FindingYourWorth #PodcastLife #ModernAIWebMachine #EcommerceAI #TechForGood

What happens when life pushes you to the edges?

One day, you think your reality is secure—then everything shifts.

Survival. Change.

The raw truth of life on the margins.🎙️ Welcome to “In The Margins”—a series exploring:

✅ Life outside the mainstream✅ The struggles of survival & reinvention✅ The unseen impact of economic & cultural shiftsThis is unfiltered storytelling—no sugarcoating, no easy answers.

Just real experiences from those who’ve lived it.

Subscribe now for new episodes.

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What happens when life pushes you to the edge?

One moment, your reality feels secure—then, everything shifts.

Survival. Reinvention.

The raw truth of life on the margins.

🎙️ Welcome to “In The Margins”—a series exploring:

✅ Life beyond the mainstream – Stories of resilience & adaptation

✅ The struggles of survival – Economic uncertainty & reinvention

✅ Unseen impacts of cultural & financial shifts – How systems shape lives

This is unfiltered storytelling—no sugarcoating, no answers.

Just real experiences from someone who’ve lived it.

If you’ve ever felt overlooked, lost, or forced to start over—this is for you.

🔔 Subscribe now or new episodes!

🎙 Listen to Transmission-X Podcast (4-7 episodes per week)!

🎧 Full Playlist → https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLgVdeaYJeOiO-kfSHIEuwszG8wfgbRkH3

🎥 Watch more at Modern AI Web Machine on YouTube!

📌 Subscribe & Follow the Journey → https://www.youtube.com/@ModernAIWebMachine

🌐 Explore More:

🔗 AI-Powered Mental Health Art Business → https://bert.forsale

👤 Personal Site → https://berchman.com

💼 Professional Site → https://bertmahoney.com

👉 Support the journey & unlock exclusive content:

💜 Patreon → https://patreon.com/bertforsale

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#InTheMargins #SurvivalStories #LifeAfterLoss #Resilience #Reinvention #UnfilteredTruth #StorytellingPodcast #MentalHealthMatters #CareerStruggles #OvercomingAdversity #LifeOnTheEdge #FindingPurpose #JobLossRecovery #SurvivorMindset #PersonalGrowth #CreativeEntrepreneurship #AIForCreatives #SelfEmployment #PodcastCommunity #RealTalk

🔥 Why This Update Works:

✅ More compelling & keyword-rich – Improves search rankings & engagement

✅ Stronger call-to-action – Encourages subscriptions & deeper audience connection

✅ Expanded hashtags – Covers career struggles, mental health, and resilience topics

Let me know if you need more refinements or variations! 🚀

In 1995, I built my first website by hand. Today, AI is my co-pilot. But TransmissionX isn’t just another tech podcast—it’s about using technology to start meaningful conversations, especially around mental health.I’m BERT, a digital designer and web developer with over 30 years of experience. I’ve witnessed the evolution of the web from the days before Google, YouTube, and Facebook, learning everything through DIY hustle. Now, I’m merging AI, mental health, web development, and art into a project that matters.What you’ll discover in this episode:✅ AI-powered web development – How I built an e-commerce platform from scratch✅ Mental health and creativity – How art became my way of healing✅ Tech tutorials – Hands-on AI and automation walkthroughs✅ Personal journey – Overcoming challenges, from homelessness to rebuilding my life🔥 The Modern AI Web Machine is more than a podcast. It’s a YouTube channel where I share weekly AI tutorials, digital tools, and behind-the-scenes insights from building BERT.forsale, my AI-powered e-commerce platform for mental health awareness artwork.💡 Who is this for?🔹 Designers looking to integrate AI into their workflow🔹 Creators and entrepreneurs building DIY e-commerce platforms🔹 Mental health advocates and anyone seeking relatable stories📢 Subscribe, like, and share to help grow this conversation!🎥 Watch more at Modern AI Web Machine on YouTube.----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------🎙 Subscribe + Listen to Transmission-X Podcast (4-7 episodes per week)!https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLgVdeaYJeOiO-kfSHIEuwszG8wfgbRkH3🎥 Watch more at Modern AI Web Machine on YouTube. New Videos Every Week!📌 Subscribe & Follow the Journey! → https://www.youtube.com/@ModernAIWebMachine🌐 Explore More:🔗 AI-Powered Mental Health Art Business → bert.forsale👤 Personal Site → berchman.com💼 Professional Site → bertmahoney.com👉 Support the journey & unlock exclusive content:💜 Patreon → patreon.com/bertforsale---

#TransmissionX #ModernAIWebMachine #WebDevelopment #AIforCreatives #MentalHealthAwareness #AIinDesign #EcommerceAI #TechForGood #CreativityAndAI #PersonalGrowth #DigitalTransformation #PodcastLife #AIWorkflow #AutomationTools #HandCoding #AIForBusiness #CreativeTech #BERTforsale #StartupJourney #MindfulTech #MachineLearning #AIIntegration #WebDesign #OnlineEntrepreneur #MentalHealthMatters #techcommunity