Podfic Text-to-Speech (TTS) reading of Basilisks, Boggarts and Boyfriends (oh my) by OptimisticDinosaur 

Summary 
Things that are not covered in the absolutely USELESS parenting books that Sirius Black, recently freed from Azkaban and new guardian of Harry James Potter, bought in a recent panic:

• How to balance parenting and wooing the hot Dark Magic Exterminator from Lupin & Co that you hired to clear out your parents’ creepy townhouse
• How to convince your five-year-old that the basilisk, boggart and ghoul you planted in the house so said hot exterminator would have to keep coming back are not, in fact, his new best friends
• How to walk your child’s pet basilisk (when you inevitably fail). 

Creators 
OptimisticDinosaur | Tumblr | AO3 
BurningAurora | Tumblr | AO3