Recorded: July 22, 2018 / Published: August 12, 2018
Call in at 865-268-4005 to leave your question or visit the Krypt at kudrinskrypt.com
On this episode of the Krypt we are going to explore contracts and collars but before that happens, we need talk about a few new interesting places to find our show, hit those three rules to love by and most importantly, I have to welcome the co-hostest with the mostest, Funsize.
Kuldrin’s Weekend Intensive September 14-16, 2018 https://kuldrinskrypt.com/kwi
Interesting places to find us: iHeartRadio, Spotify, Blubry on Roku, and smart speakers.
Rules to Love by:
Safe, sane, consensual, and informed
KNKI: Knowledge, No Intolerance, Kindness, Integrity
“Submission is not about authority and it’s not about obedience; it is all about relationships of love and respect.” -Wm. Paul Young
Definition of a BDSM Contract
A non-legally binding but useful tool in negotiations, there to assist with guiding the relationship preferences, limits, interest, and goals. They are also extremely helpful for later check-ins.
Contracts
What a contract means really.
A contract, as we've discussed before, is not legally binding in most cases. So having one doesn't mean you're having to do something. Instead, it is a document that outlines boundaries, preferences, and can/should be gone back to during check-ins.
Negotiation.
Basically, contracts are the written drafts of the negotiation process, only cleaned up and finalized.
Many times when writing a contract you find yourself negotiating the level of the relationship, hard and soft limits, a timeline for check-ins, and any goals you might have. All of these and more will end up being in the final contract.
Why they matter.
They matter not in the legal sense but in the way that they are a tool. Creating the right tool can help with maintenance, fixing any glitches, or simply give you a peace of mind.
Definition of a BDSM Collars
A BDSM collar is another tool which can help distinguish the level of the relationship and can also be an accessory for getting into headspace.
Types
Consideration Collar:
A consideration collar marks the commitment of a relationship that has negotiated their dynamic, however, they are still considering the relationship. It's the difference between dating and being married.
Interestingly to me, I've heard this collar being compared to engagement because the commitment is there but the relationship can still end. Personally, I think a dating relationship is more accurate as your sure you want to be with that person for a time but whether or not you go any further is still up for consideration.
Protection Collar:
These are collars which denote that a submissive is under the protection of a dominant. Though occasionally a dominant may also come under the protection of another. I've seen this during periods of discord in a community, and in times where a predatory bottom has surfaced.
Training
These are collars typically worn when the bottom is in a training phase of the relationship. They indicate the purpose of learning a specific aspect, the interplay of that relationship, or for a specific relationship dynamic between mentor/trainer and student.
Play Collar:
These are collars worn just for the duration of a scene. Often they are significant to assisting with slipping into headspace, not only to the sub, but to the Dom as well.
To quote Meronym’s wonderful article he posted on Fetlife.com on collars, (and of course there’s a link in the show notes at https://kuldrinskrypt.com/149 ) “It’s an agreement between the person wearing it and the holder of the collar, but only for so long as they are wearing it. When it comes off, that...