Recorded: 7/11/2021 / Published: 2/25/2022

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In this week’s episode of The Krypt we are talking about BDSM dungeon etiquette and your first play party.  

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Safe, sane, consensual, and informed
KNKI: Knowledge, No Intolerance, Kindness, Integrity
“Submission is not about authority and it’s not about obedience; it is all about relationships of love and respect.” -Wm. Paul Young

“BDSM Dungeon Etiquette and Your First Play Party-S03E52” 
What is a play party?: 
A play party is a gathering for those in the lifestyle, getting together for various methods of play, be they demonstrations, performances, or just scenes in general.
Types of play parties:
General play parties are usually listed on Fetlife and openly known about within community munch circles and groups.
Dark parties are by invitation only and are only known about by those who have been invited. These are not to be talked about to anyone before or after the event. These most often take place in a private residence.
How to get invited to events?
Dark parties: it comes down to who you know. 
Community play parties: You can check the events page on Fetlife to see if anything is listed for your local community.  
Vetting is vital to these types of events.  It’s an important practice on both sides, as the host and as those attending.  Most if not all local communities vet via munches. If you have not attended a munch and want to attend, a one-on-one sit-down meeting for MAY take place with group leaders or the event host. However, this ONLY happens at the convenience of the leaders or event host and should NOT be expected. It is our responsibility to do things necessary to be invited. Also, it is often considered rude and poor etiquette to ask for this to happen. 
It’s important to be patient and openly communicative if you are not being invited to these events as quickly as you had hoped.  Some groups simply have extensive vetting practices, especially for dark parties.  
It is also important that you vet those you know are attending and your hosts.  You can check who is going to most community parties and vet them on Fetlife, for dark parties, you will more likely know people on a more personal level before you are invited.   
What to bring?  (In no particular order)
Fetish-wear or other appropriate clothing to change into or out of for the event.  Some events have strict dress codes to adhere to. The most common is vanilla to the door. After you get inside, nudity is allowed.
Towels and washcloths.  While some hosts will provide towels and washcloths to sit on and for clean up, it’s often more considerate to simply pack your own. No host likes to do that much laundry after a party!
Bottled water. Many will offer refreshments but again to be considerate and mindful of others it’s often better just to already have it on hand.  
Wipes/moist towelettes.  Even if you’re not participating in a scene you may find yourself sweaty or arouse, and these make life so much easier.  
Your own toys/toy box in a discreet container!
Aspirin/Tylenol. One word: headaches.  NO one wants a headache to ruin this kind of experience, and getting into the practice of having these on hand will make for better experiences down the road as well.  
What to expect?
Do not expect to participate in a scene unless previously negotiated to do so; you can learn a lot from just watching
Ask yourself what are your personal expectations for this experience? 
Regular people, doing ordinary things, and having ordinary conversations, during this event.  
Acts that bring out things from your wildest fantasies; often for the firsts time...