You might think that the experience of beauty in and of itself would be enough - that to appreciate it, to revel in it, to be grateful for it, would suffice. But no. Scientists, philosophers, and other fringe elements want to know more: does it have universal properties? how does it arise? how is it we recognize it as such? can it be defined? does it serve a function? In this talk we’ll allow these killjoys to have their say, and then say what we think.