I never had a blueprint.

No one showed me how to process pain without numbing it.

No one taught me that love didn’t have to hurt.

This episode is a letter to the boy I used to be—and the man I’m becoming now. I open up about the pain of loving someone who couldn’t see me, the woman who woke my soul back up, the drinking that kept me numb, and the fire my children lit inside me to finally break the cycle.

I’m not trying to be perfect.

I’m trying to become the kind of man I always needed.

And this time, I’m doing it without apology.