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Your sexual desire can feel like a verdict. When you’ve gone back to porn again, crossed boundaries again, or found yourself stuck in patterns you hate, it’s easy to believe the loudest story: this is just who I am. We push against that lie with a different question, one that exposes the strategy of shame: why would the enemy want you to believe your sexual behaviors define your identity?

We stay in John 4 with Jesus and the woman at the well, not to weaponize the passage, but to hear the tenderness in it. Jesus doesn’t approach her with scolding or disgust. He speaks of the Father seeking worshipers who worship in spirit and truth, and we explore what it means to believe you were made for that kind of worship even while you’re struggling. The goal isn’t pretending sin is fine. The goal is letting God “untwist” what’s disordered from what’s deeply human and deeply holy: the ache to be known, cherished, and held without shame.

From there, we talk about sex as union. Sexual drive is intense because the longing for union is intense, but the deepest union you want is bigger than a moment, bigger than chemistry, even bigger than marriage. Marriage itself is a signpost pointing to the communion we’re designed for with God. If you’re a pastor, mentor, spouse, or friend walking with someone through sexual addiction or compulsive sexual behavior, this lens also changes how you help: less accusation, more truth, more patience, more hope.

If this brings relief or conviction, don’t keep it to yourself. Subscribe, share this with someone who needs a shame-free path toward sexual integrity, and leave a review so more people can find it. What’s one line of shame you’re ready to stop agreeing with?

Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole:

👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional
👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)
👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

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The lie that keeps so many of us stuck isn’t “you’re too weak” it’s “you’re on your own.” When we’re isolated, we learn to manage, perform, and keep it together, while the real stuff stays hidden under shame and fear. Today, we go after that hidden layer and ask a simple, unsettling question: what’s the 3% you won’t say out loud, and what is it costing you?

I’m joined by Jamie and Blake, Nashville therapists and the voices behind the Three Percent Podcast. They share how trauma, attachment wounds, and 12-step recovery shaped the way they think about vulnerability, porn addiction recovery, and honest male friendship. We talk about why vulnerability can feel unsafe in your body, how emotions are meant to give you information (not embarrassment), and why “not everyone deserves your 3%” is just as important as learning to share it.

If you’re tired of surface-level living and ready for real connection, hit play, subscribe, share this with a friend, and leave a review so more people can find the way out of hiding.

Resources from this episode:

• Three Percent Podcast 
• Three Percent Co 

Join us for the Awaken Retreat, a weekend designed to help men step out of isolation and into deeper honesty, healing, and connection.

October 9th -11th | Early Bird Registration Available More Information & Registration

Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole:

👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional
👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)
👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us Fan Mail

Sex can feel like the loudest desire in the room, but what if it’s actually a signpost pointing to something deeper? James Craig, our director of projects, shares a condensed version of a church talk that maps a Christian theology of sexuality from creation to fall to redemption, with an honest look at why so many people feel fractured inside their own wants, choices, and sense of self.

If you’ve ever wondered why sex carries so much weight, or how healing can reach deeper than shame and willpower, this conversation is for you. Subscribe, share this with a friend who’s wrestling, and leave a review with the line that hit you hardest.

🚨 Upcoming 🗓️

Awaken Men's Retreat

Sometimes transformation begins when we finally slow down long enough to hear what God has been trying to say beneath all the noise.

Join us for the Awaken Retreat, a weekend designed to help men step out of isolation and into deeper honesty, healing, and connection.

October 9th -11th | Early Bird Registration Available

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Sacred By Design Women's Retreat

A retreat for women who need space to rest, reflect, and be renewed.

Join us for a gentle, Scripture-centered day of encouragement, honest community, and time to breathe in God’s presence.

Saturday | October 17th

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Join us for the Awaken Retreat, a weekend designed to help men step out of isolation and into deeper honesty, healing, and connection.

October 9th -11th | Early Bird Registration Available More Information & Registration

Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole:

👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional
👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)
👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

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The first command in the Bible is not a rule about what to avoid. It is a commissioning to be fruitful, to multiply, and to image God together as embodied people. That single detail reframes a lot of confusion and shame around sex, the body, and marriage, so we decided to share a portion of a church talk from James Craig, our director of projects, that takes the wide-angle view.

We start with Genesis and a Christian anthropology: Imago Dei and the claim that men and women share equal dignity and a shared calling. Then we dig into nephesh, the biblical idea that you are a whole living being, not a spirit trapped in a body. 
Lastly, we move into the meaning of “one flesh” in Genesis 2 and why the theology of the body matters for real life. We unpack union, self-giving love, procreation, pleasure, and how marital covenant points beyond itself toward union with God. 

Subscribe for more teaching like this, share it with a friend who is rethinking faith and sexuality, and leave a review so more people can find the conversation.

Join us for the Awaken Retreat, a weekend designed to help men step out of isolation and into deeper honesty, healing, and connection.

October 9th -11th | Early Bird Registration Available More Information & Registration

Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole:

👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional
👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)
👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

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*The topic is anger, but the stories are tender, so please pause, pray, breathe, and listen as you feel ready.*

Anger is often misunderstood—and often buried.

But what if anger isn’t just something to control…
 What if it’s something to understand?

In this episode, we explore how anger can function as both a signal and a driver—especially in cycles of unwanted sexual behavior. Drawing from Scripture, personal stories, and practical tools, we talk about how to:

•  Recognize anger as more than a surface emotion 
•  Understand what anger may be protecting or revealing 
•  Avoid the two common traps: explosion or suppression 
•  Bring your anger into the presence of Jesus in a healthy way 
•  Begin moving toward healing, clarity, and restoration 

We also reflect on Psalm 139:23–24 as a pathway into honest prayer:

“Search me, God, and know my heart…”

If anger has felt confusing, overwhelming, or even shameful—this conversation will help you take a next step.

 👉 Learn more about coaching and support

• Men's Coaching
• Women's Coaching

Join us for the Awaken Retreat, a weekend designed to help men step out of isolation and into deeper honesty, healing, and connection.

October 9th -11th | Early Bird Registration Available More Information & Registration

Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole:

👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional
👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)
👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

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Shame has a way of pushing us into the hottest part of the day, alone, doing life where no one can see us. That’s why John 4 hits so hard for anyone carrying sexual brokenness, porn use, compulsive fantasy, secret hookups, or a past that still stings. We walk through Jesus’ encounter with the Samaritan woman and pay attention to the details that reveal His heart: He goes where others won’t go, He initiates conversation, and He starts with a humble request for a drink.

We talk about isolation and defensiveness as survival strategies, and the way Jesus takes the lower place in their dialogue. Instead of shaming her, he offers “living water” that speaks to the deeper thirst beneath every substitute. When Jesus asks her to call her husband, we slow down and ask why: not to mock, not to expose her publicly, but to bring her full story into the light so nothing stands between them. Love can’t fully reach a version of us that is still hiding.

If this resonates, subscribe, share it with a friend who feels stuck, and leave a review so more people can find hope.

Join us for the Awaken Retreat, a weekend designed to help men step out of isolation and into deeper honesty, healing, and connection.

October 9th -11th | Early Bird Registration Available More Information & Registration

Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole:

👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional
👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)
👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us Fan Mail

A head turn in the park. A glance across the sanctuary. For many couples healing after infidelity, pornography, or sexual addiction, those tiny moments can feel bigger than the whole week of progress. We sit down with coaches Aaron Tagert and Anne Donahue to slow the moment down and name what’s really happening: betrayal trauma in her body, shame and helplessness in him, and the split-second choice between defensiveness and connection. 

We talk about why “I wasn’t looking” usually backfires, even when it’s true, and how a betrayed spouse can experience that as being left again. Then we get practical. Aaron and Anne share simple tools for nervous system regulation, taking a pause, and moving toward your spouse with empathy. We also unpack a framework called SAVES: see, ask, validate, empathize, and provide security through your presence and your actions. 

Lastly, we tackle what “realistic” healing looks like for couples in recovery. Noticing is part of being human, but seeking and fixating are different, and intent matters. We discuss the distinction between fleeting intrusive thoughts and fixating fantasy, plus guidance on getting outside support without turning it into spouse-bashing. If you want a marriage marked by honesty, tenderness, and real repair, press play, then subscribe, share with a friend who needs it, and leave a review so more couples can find the conversation.

Join us for the Awaken Retreat, a weekend designed to help men step out of isolation and into deeper honesty, healing, and connection.

October 9th -11th | Early Bird Registration Available More Information & Registration

Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole:

👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional
👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)
👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us Fan Mail

Addiction and unwanted sexual behaviors often feel like a mystery: “I don’t want this, but I keep doing it.” We sit down with Chris Coursey, co-founder and president of Thrive Today, to explore a different diagnosis for overcoming sexual addiction. Addiction, a maturity gap that forms when our brains never receive key relational skills. When these skills are missing, we don’t stop needing comfort, connection, or relief. We just reach for substitutes that work fast and fade faster.

We dig into the Life Model framework and the neuroscience of relational transformation, especially the difference between happiness and joy. Joy, as Chris and Dr. Jim Wilder define it, is “glad to be togetherness,” and it changes everything from fear-driven living to our ability to rest. We also discuss God’s "hessed", loyal love, and how recovery accelerates when we start to trust that God wills our good rather than demands performance.

From there, we get practical: emotional capacity, “enemy mode,” attachment pain, and how people can learn relational skills even as adults through practice and community. We connect these ideas to both sides of the healing journey, those fighting compulsive behaviors and those carrying betrayal trauma. If you want a Christian recovery conversation that blends spiritual formation, brain science, and real-world tools for change, this one will meet you where you are.

Subscribe for more, share this with someone who needs hope, and leave a review that tells us what topic you would like us to cover next.

Resources from this episode:

• Taking your relational temperature
• 19 relational skills
• https://thrivetoday.org/ 

Join us for the Awaken Retreat, a weekend designed to help men step out of isolation and into deeper honesty, healing, and connection.

October 9th -11th | Early Bird Registration Available More Information & Registration

Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole:

👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional
👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)
👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us Fan Mail

“I watch porn because my wife won’t have sex with me” sounds like a blunt confession, but it’s usually a doorway into something much bigger: intimacy, rejection, power, trust, and what we believe sex is actually for. We sit with that statement pastorally and honestly, and we ask a hard question many couples avoid: when sex disappears in a Christian marriage, what is the wise, loving, God-honoring next step?

We walk through why sex is more than a physical outlet. It’s connection, “knowing,” and covenant communion. Then we slow down in 1 Corinthians 7, a passage that often gets quoted to demand sex, and we add the missing context: Paul is offering concession in a sexually broken culture, not giving a license for coercion. We also discuss the reality that a sexless marriage can signal deeper issues like pain, postpartum recovery, trauma, resentment, or relational rupture, and that healing usually requires patience and care rather than pressure.

If this conversation helps you, share it with a friend, subscribe for more, and leave a review so others can find it. What part of the topic do you want us to unpack next?

Join us for the Awaken Retreat, a weekend designed to help men step out of isolation and into deeper honesty, healing, and connection.

October 9th -11th | Early Bird Registration Available More Information & Registration

Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole:

👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional
👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)
👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us Fan Mail

“Are you affirming?” might be the most common question churches get about sexuality and it’s also one of the easiest traps to fall into. We want to be clear on historic Christian teaching about marriage, singleness, celibacy, and chastity, but we also want to lead with the better invitation: come follow Jesus, and let him reshape every part of your life. That shift changes the entire atmosphere, especially for people who feel like their sexual struggles make them unwelcome at church. 

We dig into why sexuality is not just a “hot button issue” but a doorway into some of the deepest discipleship available. Beneath behaviors are questions about desire, identity, self-mastery, wounds, relationships, and what we’re truly thirsty for. We talk about Jesus and the woman at the well as a picture of truth and grace in the same moment, and why avoiding the topic often means missing a powerful opportunity for heart transformation. 

Then we get practical for church leaders and members: should a church put its stance on sexuality on the website, or keep it relational?  We also explore leadership and membership decisions, from serving on teams to eldership, and why different roles require different standards. Using 1 Thessalonians 5:14, plus scriptures from Titus and 1 Timothy, we argue for holding both clear qualifications and process-based growth, including humility, truth-telling, and knowing when it’s wise to step down for the sake of care and integrity. 

If you’re trying to navigate sexual discipleship with wisdom, clarity, and real compassion, listen now. Subscribe, share with a pastor or friend, and leave a review so more churches can find a better way forward.

Join us for the Awaken Retreat, a weekend designed to help men step out of isolation and into deeper honesty, healing, and connection.

October 9th -11th | Early Bird Registration Available More Information & Registration

Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole:

👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional
👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)
👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)