"Becoming with Pat Smith, NFL Wife, Second Chances and More: Part 1"

In this life, we are all just trying to become. We strive to become better as individuals, as a spouse, friend, leader and so much more. Sometimes we get so caught up in trying to become, that we skip over key moments that require us to dig deep into who we use to be and find healing from our past. One of those key moments that go skipped all too easily is our moments of deep pain.

This week, I wanted to bring someone on the show who is very special to me and I believe is the perfect example of a woman who found the strength to heal without shame. Pat Smith, besides being wife to legendary football player Emmitt Smith, is also the author of "Second Chances" where she talks about finding healing from times of pain and living a new life!

The strength to heal can be found in a friend. As someone who can relate to the specific pain of losing a mother, I found that in Pat.

Pat's mother passed away from cancer at the young age of 22 and recalls how almost every problem in her life back then could be traced to the pain of losing her mother. It affected her mindset, perspective, and daily life decisions. If you have listened to season 1 of my show, you will remember the episode of how mother wounds cut me deeply in my past too.

The truth is, there is power in your pain. Your pain serves a purpose in your life. Whether it may be to grow you, teach you or strengthen you, I want you to know that your pain is not a punishment of suffering. It is much more than that.

Another hard truth most of us do not like to face is that sometimes we need external help to leave the place of pain and breakthrough into healing and freedom. Pat gets vulnerable in talking about how it took both prayer and seeing a therapist regularly for her to get to such a place.

While the church preaches of praying problems away, there should not be any shame in finding spiritual counsel and medical help alongside prayer. Why are Pat and I firm believers of this? Because we have done it ourselves and are proven witnesses to this fact! Pain has layers and there came a time where we needed all the tools that were provided to us.

I want you to know that there is no shame in seeking help from others. Christian couples, there is no shame in meeting with a spiritual counselor to help solve the problems in your marriage. In fact, this would make you wise for seeking counsel, rather than knowing you have no idea what to do and allow marital problems to continue!

An even greater act of wisdom that Pat shares is "Do it as early as possible. Don't wait." Why seek help at the moment of chaos and crisis, if you can do damage control before the storm hits? This preparation is only to the benefit of the loved ones around you. The benefits of therapy will help you in every relationship in your life. It can help you be a better wife, mom, daughter, and friend.

This goes beyond just you.

I want you to know the advice Pat has to give from her story of pain so you can get your life back!

How to Deal with Pain

[12:34] Realize that your ministry is found in your misery. Someone out there is going through exactly what you are. If you allow your pain to be transparent, it could help thousands relate to you. Even better, you all could have victory over that pain.

[12:58] You don't have to have it all together to help someone else. You can find healing while still helping others.

[14:44] See someone. It could be a pastor, a spiritual counselor, a therapist, or any other source you are comfortable with. It is nothing to be ashamed of!

[15:51] It takes both medical and spiritual help. Be willing and open to both professional and spiritual help.

[19:03] Service your marriage as if it were a car. Do it as early as possible. Don't wait until it is a total loss.

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References

Pat Smith's book "Second Chances: Finding Healing for Your Pain, Regaining Your Strength, Celebrating Your New Life”.

How to Heal from Mother Wounds