Eliana’s racing against time with her ADHD brain while planning New Year’s resolutions she’ll probably definitely break. Meanwhile, Leora is pre-planning a garage sale for when Eliana kicks the bucket and recovering from a tooth extraction, accepting tips from the Tooth Fairy via Venmo. Assisted living? Junior high with more backstabbing and fewer men. Aging is glamorous…until your phone’s in the freezer, your husband’s watching soft porn, and life feels like rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic. Lost words, rogue elbow hairs, bedpans, and carpool chaos—two women, zero shame, maximum midlife meltdown. Cheers to surviving the sinking ship. 🥂

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