By The Browns
5
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The podcast currently has 11 episodes available.
Marriage is a privilege, not a right. Though it's tempting to use the union as an excuse to get things out of life that you can’t get on your own, if you rely solely on your spouse for happiness, security and self worth, you're setting yourself up for disappointment. By developing an attitude that sees your marriage as an opportunity rather than a problem, you'll be able to strengthen your bond and create memories in which you are both proud.
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Maria explains that the main reason most relationships end up in the wrong direction is the failure to build a solid friendship. If your partner is not your friend, they will not be your go-to person. Mikel also speaks about self-sabotage and why it is a major sign of your relationship heading in the wrong direction. Lastly, we tell you how you can go past your wrong-direction relationship.
Tune in to listen to this and much more!
Key Highlights
00:00 Intro
03:48 How Mikel’s and Maria’s relationship started going in the wrong direction
08:25 Why you should build a solid friendship with your partner
22:49 Signs of your relationship heading in the wrong direction
28:30 How Mikel realized their relationship was headed in the wrong direction
33:22 How Maria realized their relationship was headed in the wrong direction
39:20 How to go past going in the wrong direction
46:07 Book a vent session with us
Are you constantly at odds in your relationship? Seems like you sometimes would rather be away from home than at home? Everyone wants to be seen, heard and loved. Click the link for a FREE 30 minute vent session with us to discover the relationship mistakes you didn't know you were making.
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Maria on Instagram
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Setting boundaries is not usually the topic of conversation on a date night. However, it can cause havoc in your relationship, if it is not addressed. Many people have a negative connotation when it comes to setting boundaries. There is usually a thought that something has to be wrong if a boundary is being set. In Episode 8, Maria and Mikel discuss the importance of boundary setting and what happened to them when they failed to set boundaries. They also discuss how it has been healthy for them to set boundaries in the relationship, with friends and family and even in parenting.
Show Notes
00:00 Introduction
2:40 Topic
3:10 Definition
3:33 Maria used to never say "no"
3:53 No Boundaries = People Pleaser
4:57 You can't pour from an empty cup
5:20 Mikel's view on boundaries
5:42 No boundaries means people will take advantage of you
6:56 Set boundaries in every area of your life
8:29 Level of access
9:00 When you forget, others remember
10:24 Dating Boundaries
14:26 You can't change anyone
19:50 In a Relationship Boundaries
26:46 Trigger Conversation is necessary
37:23 Married Boundaries
40:58 Boundaries protect you
41:33 Boundaries with your kids
45:06 Set the environment for boundary conversation
45:50 How did we get through boundary setting
47:57 Fine line between caring and controlling
49:11 Establish boundaries
52:50 Setting boundaries tips
54:39 Sponsor- Free 30 min. vent session
56:17 Closing
Are you constantly at odds in your relationship? Seems like you sometimes would rather be away from home than at home? Everyone wants to be seen, heard and loved. Click the link for a FREE 30 minute vent session with us to discover the relationship mistakes you didn't know you were making.
www.iknowyougottavent.com
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It is said that the best relationship is one where your love for each other exceeds your need for each other. What this means is that you should be able to impact your partner positively and not negatively, so as to bring out the best in them.
This, however, cannot happen when we are suffering in silence in our relationships. What does this mean? It is when one person or both people in a relationship are suffering and acting like everything is okay. They don't speak out about their problems and challenges in the relationship. According to relationship experts, keeping it all inside is not good for anyone involved and can cause more harm than good.
In today's episode, we share with you how suffering in silence affects you, how you can open up about it to your partner by developing healthy communication channels with each other, and even seeking therapy when needed. We also share with you some of our past experiences when we suffered in silence, how we dealt with the situations, and how the lessons we learned from these experiences made us a better couple! We hope that you enjoy the episode!
Key Highlights
[00:00] Intro
[01:06] Our special day
[03:22] Mikel’s 31-day seller’s challenge manual
[06:01] What suffering in silence means to you.
[08:30] Emotion arousal
[11:40] Opening up about your relationship
[12:40] Being negatively content in a relationship
[17:42] When Maria suffered in silence
[26:14] When Mikel suffered in silence
[29:02] Lessons we learned from our suffering in silence
[32:08] How you could be suffering in silence in a good space
[34:05] Creating healthy communication channels in your marriage
[35:18] Double suffering in silence during COVID-19
[39:41] Cheating in marriage and how we overcame it
[42:54] Suffering in silence during separation
[45:49] Why men cheat
[47:46] Why women cheat]
[48:20] Going past suffering in silence
[52:25] Creating a definition dictionary for healthy communication
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If you’re married, most likely, you have spoken the common vows of, “In sickness and in health, to death due us part”. However, it’s not real until it’s real. In this episode, we will discuss some of the darkness moments in our relationship. We will give our perspectives on the subject, as well as talk about what things we wish we could have changed. In full transparency, marriage is hard work! Those vows are usually said as part of the routine in a marriage ceremony, but you never know how you will respond, until it’s standing at your front door. Before You Go There Podcast will show you how important it is to mean what you say and say what you mean.
Show Notes
0:00 Introduction
4:38 Today’s Topic
5:30 Sickness & Health vs. Good & Bad
6:06 Identify the area of sickness
7:39 Followed the “blueprint”
8:43 Who’s going to coach you out of bad?
9:11 Memory Lane
28:02 You don’t suppose to be here
30:30 We separated
31:31 2020 was horrible
32:06 A man needs to feel wanted
35:00 I cared but I didn’t
36:54 I should have been there
41:05 Am I creating an environment for my partner to communicate?
43:50 I don’t need you to agree, I just need you to understand
48:09 It has to start with you
51:07 How did you get through it?
52:38 It’s not real until it’s real
57:33 Sometimes you might not get it right
59:42 Closing
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In this episode, we discuss how hitting below the belt can be detrimental to the current and future state of your relationship. It is not uncommon to have a disagreement with your Partner. It is almost expected because there will be times where you both are not on the same page. The problem becomes when a disagreement turns into a TKO and you hit below the belt. It is vital that you effectively communicate your concerns without disparaging your partner. In a fight, your ultimate goal is to knock out your opponent but this should never be your goal in a disagreement with your Partner.
0:00 Introduction
1:28 Today’s Topic
3:01 Why are you arguing?
4:09 We were good for hitting below the belt
8:38 Running out of words
12:14 What did you just say?
15:19 I said what I said
19:43 Steps to prevent you from hitting below the belt
20:00 Don’t go to bed angry
21:55 Let your partner know y’all are good
24:27 Using what was told to you in a vulnerable state
24:47 TKO: Hitting below the belt affects the future
28:28 In the wrong weight class
29:01 Do check-ins with yourself, your Partner and your Therapist
37:02 How did you get past it?
37:08 Maria’s Response
37:35 Mikel’s Response
*38:06 You don’t have to agree, just understand
40:46 Perspectives and Definitions matter
46:34 Call to Action
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We can literally make an argument over anything. It can begin frivolous and turn into a heated argument. Communication is imperative but sometimes you have to simply ask yourself.... Does it even matter? Does it matter, in this moment. It's important to stay in the moment and try not to make decisions based off of past experiences that you've healed from. Before You Go There Podcast talks about how asking yourself, "Does it even matter?" can help you reassess the current situation at hand, without formulating opinions based off of past experiences.
•Crazy Day
•Today’s Topic
•Bringing things from childhood
•Help Me
•Didn’t know what to help with
•Partnership starts
•Bringing people into your marriage
•Live in the moment
•In this moment, does it even matter?
•Predicting your future
•What Matters?
•Not fair to say, “that doesn’t matter”
•Doesn’t mean nothing matters
•It’s about timing
•The way you present it, matters
•Ask yourself, does it even matter?
•How did you get past it?
•Remember the reason
•Closing
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It is easy to go through the motions and become so routine that you fail to realize how much you need each other. We were on auto-pilot and acted as if there was no purpose in being together….until we separated. Separation showed us how much we complimented each other and how we took our presence for granted.
•introduction
•The Topic
• Maria’s Response
•Mikel’s Response
•Mikel’s First Meal
•Things we take for granted
•Maria’s Dream
•Mikel’s Grocery Shopping
•No more arguing
•Are you saved or nah?
•What did we miss during separation
•How did we get past the separation
•The hardest part for us
•Mikel’s health issue
•Closing
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Sometimes life can cause you to go into “Survivor Mode”. The place where you focus on doing and disregarding the emotional aspect of life. In this episode, we talk about how Survivor Mode played a part in the disintegration of our marriage.
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Sometimes knowing is half the battle. The other half is knowing the WHY. Before You Go There podcast talks about the reasons they found themselves cheating. They discuss what they felt they were lacking and how they overcame it.
Download 5 FREE steps to love recovery guide
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The podcast currently has 11 episodes available.