One of the most impressive things about Hong Kong is the absolutely incredible bladder control you will find on display throughout the city. Forget about the Chinese acrobatic acts featuring intense young Buddhists smashing their forearms through concrete cinderblocks. Considering the amount of bottled water locals go through ever day, the Hong Kong ability to stay focused under pressure is nothing short of performance art.

We wondered about this for a long time, especially considering the heat and humidity that envelops the island every summer. But then we met Nicole, who is slowly sharing Hong Kong's secrets with us. "We don't really have a lot of choice in the matter," she said, before adding "and I think there's something wrong with you guys biologically." Our table was littered with empty bottles of mango and raspberry juice purchased at the local store. "But we also don't drink so much juice, and that makes a difference too."

Beginner - Internal Fortitude

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Admittedly, this lesson doesn't have much to do with life in Hong Kong, if only because none of us can remember the last time we've actually driven on the island. In our car that is, because while we definitely enjoy shuffling around in a cab every now and then, if said cab happened to break down there is absolutely zero chance we would get out and help the driver push given the near 100 percent humidity.

Beginner - Pushing a Car

Mrs. Robinson had pushed her daughter to get involved with the university sports program. "You spend too much time in the library," she gestured dismissively at the concrete edifice. "Why don't you try to make different kinds of friends and broaden your experience here." And then had come the dinner parties, end-of-year gatherings and various minor sports celebrations: supportive parenting at its best.

Note: this lesson is at the easier end of our Elementary level, it might even be reasonably called a beginner lesson, save for the speed of the dialogue and the fact that the sentences are somewhat complex. So don't be afraid to listen in if you're just getting started. And if not? We've got more advanced materials set for release later this month. So come back soon.

Elementary - Mrs. Robinson

There are a couple of ways to get an iPad. The most expensive is to walk into the IFC and just buy one. But why wait in line? Or risk falling down that glass staircase and breaking your neck? We have your interests in mind, which is why this week we're going to talk about safer, alternative methods of iPad procurement. Oh, and we'll be chatting about Nicole's crazy father as well.

Learning Cantonese? Our elementary podcast for today covers an easy way to ask rhetorical questions. Rhetorical questions like this one, you ask? No, not really. Although sort of like that. So if you're learning Cantonese or just want tips on how to get by in Hong Kong, check out our show and let us know what you think in the comments section below

Elementary - iPad Acquisition Techniques

You think you have a love-hate relationship with China? Ever since 1997 we've been privvy to nothing but complaints over the water cooler about those guys. And then they complain back at us. No wonder 2012 was such a rough year in the annals of Hong Kong - China relations.

That said, we're progressive people and are sick of the constant moaning. Which is why for this advanced Cantonese podcast, we found a couple of Hong Kong locals and locked them together with some mainland Chinese citizens in our recording studio until they could either amicably settle their differences, or sort out the winner Thunderdome style. Three days later, we humbly submit this podcast to the Nobel prize committee, which we encourage to send the cash prize pronto.

Advanced - Our Love-Hate Relationship with China

The temperature in Kowloon Financial's head office had risen steadily through the day, from a comfortable twenty degrees at opening to its current sweat-inducing thirty degrees. James would have opened the window to create a draft, but with the temperature outside several degrees higher than this, and not even the least wind blowing in off the bay, it seemed that the only thing to do was suffer through this heatwave, or find whoever was responsible for fixing the air conditioner.

Learning Cantonese? Our lesson today is based on a truism that anyone who has worked in a major office should recognize: that sometimes it isn't the heat that's bothering you so much as your co-workers.

Beginner - Internal Fortitude

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